Reporting the mods

So like when Spock kept saying that she wouldn't shut up because I was lying, it was my fault.

 

+1 to what chiomi said, also, to be honest, after reading back through all of that i really do not have the spoons to do homework for you anymore athol. I've recommended multiple times that you start keeping a word document with advice pasted into it for easy access.

I'm am so sorry chiomi x3

Yes actually, although I'mma say No to the thing you're doing of trying to reverse victim and offender on this.

Here's the difference: you were abusing spock, and then trying to hold spock hostage via an unreasonable boundary which would allow you to lie about things you did to her with impunity if she did what you wanted. If you had stopped doing the abusive thing, spock would have gladly stopped talking to and about you. the two things are not equivalent. They are never going to BE equivalent.

 

I care. I just don't understand half of the time and I don't know what exactly y'all want me to do and if I get something right by accident I get not!yelled at and I can't tell if it's wrong direction or not enough, and also I get not!yelled at harder if I make negative progress.

Can I tell y'all when I've gotten put on the lift hill to a meltdown and get y'all to back off somehow?

I accept that y'all don't intend to push my buttons, but I feel like y'all don't listen when I say that it's happening.

 

Basically, I'm tired. I was hoping I'd see compassion for people in the wiggler, reasonable misunderstandings, things that matched up to the kind of thing you'd been saying was happening in there. And I didn't. I just saw post after post after post of frankly horrifying shit. Some directed at me!
You need help. You need to go to intense therapy and stick with it. Probably for years. But you need help that nobody here can provide. I believe you can get better, but not like this.

 

I wasn't lying, and there were cases where I wasn't even thinking about her when writing a post -and I got told to stop lying about her.

 

You were though. It's very extensively documented. You might not think you were lying but there are things you said that are just directly untrue all assembled. You not recognizing literal fact is a sign of how deeply you're dealing with cognitive distortions and it goes beyond anything anyone here can help you with. We can't help you with this stuff over the long term, Athol. It wouldn't be healthy for anybody involved.

 

I think it's a language problem, though. Like, did I miss the explanation about how describing the safe surrender program is horrifying? It's designed to keep newborns alive.

 

Yes, actually! There is a protocol for this, I've seen people do it before. What you do is, you ping a mod, and you ask to be temporarily banned from a thread. Then later when you feel better you can ask to be unbanned.

 

Wrong, probably. Two-sided communication breakdown, definitely. Mixing up facts and opinions, lots of that on both sides.

 

Do not both sides this right now because I have seen both sides now and you are wrong

 

I have a problem with that. And it's not just the assumption that I'll get mocked for asking. It's giving people the power to mock me while my ability to respond is in the hands of people I don't trust. There's already more of that than I consent to. I prefer thread-locking even if it's on a delay. It keeps things even, which is important for me until I manage to strip my humanity away.

 

I do have a bit of a non-sequiter and can't remember what this is relevant to... oh, pronoun trouble. If I became serious about wanting my pronouns to be "it"... There are valid reasons why other people would find that troubling. But, would I be in the right to say nasty stuff to anyone who calls me a "they"? I mean, right now, I kinda hate being called a they and being called xie or something is pretty annoying, but on my end the right thing is to tolerate it and decide if I'm annoyed enough to even say anything.

 

This one is valid.

Reading other people's posts... that one is tricky. I do have an ignore button for non-mods.

I've described the things that were in my way of getting sober.

I'm not lying. You just quoted the part where I explained that.