Requesting Funny Pet Stories

http://manicpixiesdreamdragon.tumbl...un-things-to-do-with-your-pet-green-bean-test this post is relevant and utterly hilarious

 

Can I just say I've been rereading this thread and it it is truly blessed :p

Also Lupin steals my binders. I cant leave them on the the floor when it's been a sweaty day because she'll just drag them into a corner for a good chew-and-roll. She has actually ripped the hem on one of my older and shittier ones (I don't mind too much) at which point I decided that even if I'm having a bad spoons day, putting them up where she cant reach them is a priority.

Cats.

 

My cat Tenchi ate* the straps off of three different bras/tank tops before I learned

* no worries, he didn't actually eat them and is a fat and sassy healthy cat

 

My cat likes to sit on the sink so you can pet her while you're on the toilet. The only issue with this is that she has trouble judging distance and jumping. 9 times out of 10 she will barely get her front paws on the edge of the sink before falling to the ground with a loud thud. Good news: she's started just sitting on my feet so she doesn't have to jump anymore. XD She's just a very affectionate cat.

 

our chickens ignore the henhouse to sleep up a tree. like, they all sleep up the same tree.

yesterday, when heading to school, i noticed that one of the chickens-the white one whose only markings are a very few greyish speckles-was standing in the tree looking around like she was trying to figure out how to get down.
just. standing in the tree. peering around like "help how do i get down?"

when i came home from school all but one of the chickens were out of their run, trying to walk through the fence to get back into the run...about a foot to the left of the hole in the fence they got out by.
so they were just walking repeatedly into the fence and wondering why it didn't work.

 

A quick one: Our bunnies aren't lap rabbits. If they're in a particularly good mood they might come and sit near you on the sofa for a few minutes, but then they're off again. They do like being petted, but you can't ever pet just one of them: you absolutely must pet both at the same time. To facilitate this, they've developed the habit of squidging themselves together as close as they possibly can, with their faces smooshed right up against each other, when petting is occurring.

Also: they live in a pen that takes up most of the back half of our sitting room. If you're cleaning them out or fetching their food bowls, etc, you have to open the pen and get in there with them. The last few times I've done this they've taken to following me around, right up at my heels. When I stop, they stop. When I turn around, they realign themselves so they're still following behind me.

Another also (okay maybe this wasn't as quick of a post as I'd intended): They get thoroughly overexcited at feeding time, and sometimes their boisterousness leads to mishaps with the food bowl (nuggets all over the floor, etc). A couple of days ago I was putting some spring greens down for them. Wilbur lost his tiny mind, despite the fact that they have spring greens pretty much every day, and jumped at me as I was putting the last leaf in. I dropped it on him. The leaves are as big as they are. He proceeded to wear that huge leaf like a cape for a good ten minutes until Jeff nicked it off him.

 

Apparently the other day the Goob was wandering around with a bone in his mouth, as one does, when Elliot walk passed. Elliot did his "freeze and inspect" thing, wandered around a bit while Goob continued to happily do his own thing, then walked behind him and barked, once, really loudly.

Buster immediately dropped the bone, jumped up, and started looking everywhere for the Excitement.

Elliot placidly walked over, took the bone, and left.

 

Realized I should probably cross-post the fact that a very common sight in my parents' house is one dog trying to eat out of the food bowl, with the Goob lying upside-down with his head right in their face, bothering them. Watched Elliot try to eat while the puppy was licking his eyeballs earlier.

 

so i just moved into a new place, and new place has golden doodle doggo. I am still somewhat learning how to interact with big woof instead of small meow, though learning curve is definitely easier than the reverse would be.

Tonight dog was stalking me getting food out from the freezer and i got some freezie/ice pop/whatever you call them juice on my finger, so i held it down to doggo's nose the way i would if i were offering my family's cat to lick my fingers. Doggo tilted his head, then started pawing with one leg, which made me immediately thing impatience because that's what horses do when they're bored. which confused me until i realized the doggo thought i was asking him to shake. i shook his paw and told him what a good dog he was. he actually did sit and lay down for me too!!! which is awesome because i have a chronic problem of even well trained doggos not listening to me when i try to tell them to do the things xD

 

my uncle, aunt, and cousins are visiting.
uncle wandered into my room with the parrot perched on his hand, trying very, very hard to eat his shirt button.

just before that she'd climbed on a chair to try to bite my cousin's feet, when we were having dinner i had to wait for mum to get the parrot off the chair i was going to sit on, and apparently she flew onto the table.

 

Does the fact that Lupin talks in her sleep count? Not only does she snore because of her short muzzle, but when she's deep in REM she chirps, grunts, and chatters as her paws and whiskers twitch.

If she spoke english, I bet she'd be one of those people that you could hold a conversation with while they were fast asleep XDD

 

I was unfortunately not there to see this, but: yesterday my mom gave the dogs two of these stuffed chew things- basically just rawhide wrapped in a tube around a filling. The dogs are bickery hooligans who constantly try to steal everything from each other, especially the puppy, and it's consequently very common for Elliot to grab something and then retreat into the crate in my parents' bedroom with it, where he can defend his hoard against intruders.

In the middle of the afternoon, Mom and Sibling suddenly heard galloping dog feet and fairly convincing "I'm going to kill you" dog noises coming from the hallway towards that bedroom, and puppy and a very angry Elliot emerged. Mom noticed that the puppy's face looked kinda weird, and assumed he'd grabbed part of the chew and was carrying it in his mouth.

Puppy walked over to Sibling and horked up the entire eight-inch chew toy, which he apparently deep-throated to keep it away from Elliot.

Then he brought it over to Mom, apparently expecting her to play with him with it.

Then he threw up a couple more times.

He's fine.

 

You have to be impressed at that kind of determination.

 

in DnD today the parrot waddled into my room, got put on my windowsill, and proceeded to climb onto the curtains and try to steal my glasses and then eat my headphones.
then she tried to throw the computer mouse onto the floor.

(the dnd was being played online.)

 

The parrot was just trying to improve your dice rolls, I'm sure.

 

Smokie (big gray tux cat) snores and is the twitchiest sleeper cat I've eve encountered. He lies on his back with all his legs in the air and just goes for it, all his legs start paddling at once and grabbing at nothing. He also laps at water in his slumber and sometimes sleeps with his eyes open, which is a bit unsettling.

 

My rat Peaches will, on a regular basis, twist around to groom herself, as is normal for rats. She twists around so far that she loses her balance and falls over. Her late sister Beans would sit on my shoulder or chest and grab my nose to pull my face into a better position for grooming, and several times managed to bite my nipple through my shirt.

 

Kitten Middle-aged cat that we call Kitten 'cause she's the youngest we've got flopped down between me and my laptop and keeps grabbing my face with both paws and dragging it down so she can groom my face and hair. As I type this she has decided she needs to chew on my ear. h e l p

 

We kept missing pears at my parents home. Like, there's a bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter, usually pears and apples, and the pears just kept getting up and leaving on their own it seemed
Until one day may dad stepped out of the shower agian because he's forgotten a thing and turns out our blind dog (spanish greyhound, so sizable, but all leg) has learnt where the fruit bowl is, and somehow, in between the half a minute it took for my dad to get into the bathroom, undress, realize we're out of showergel and put a towel around himself and step out of the bathroom again, the dog went into the kitchen, put his feet on the counter and already wolfed down two whole pears with minimal waste.

We only found the stems rolled under the table later after actively looking for them.

 

Tako, my icon does the falling over while trying to groom thing as well. She also likes to hide under the collar of my shirt and lick my neck until it turns raw.

We had a basset hound who inhaled an entire plate of spaghetti when she walked past me when I was young. She didn't even stop, just kept walking casually. Later, she broke her back and after we got it fixed we found her after coming home from my sisters, having scooted across the entire house, pulled the trash out of the cupboard, and managed to get it up over her head, which is how we found her when we got home.