Requesting Funny Pet Stories

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by thegrimsqueaker, Apr 25, 2016.

  1. thegrimsqueaker

    thegrimsqueaker 28 Moribunding Mouse Aggravates the Angry Assholes

    what a good

    and yes 18 is the YOLO stage for most animals
     
    • Agree x 1
  2. Loq

    Loq AND ANOTHER THING (ABOUT PIGEONS)--

    Cloud is a fifteen-year-old toothpick Dainty and Small-Bodied catte
    Cloud just spent half a fucking hour running back and forth between the front and back doors while I ate lunch, yelling for me to let her out into the two-day-long blizzard.
    honey
     
    • Witnessed x 9
    • Like x 1
  3. Verily

    Verily surprised Xue Yang peddler

    Reminds me of this fine fellow:

     
    • Winner x 7
    • Like x 1
    • Agree x 1
  4. Saro

    Saro Where is wizard hut

    What a beautiful guy!
     
    • Agree x 4
  5. theambernerd

    theambernerd dead to all sense of shame

    My family cat had a great communication system where he'd do a 'come talk to me' meow until someone came and told him "show me the problem", and then he'd walk over to what he wanted, whether it was more food or more water or whatever, but sometimes..
    Sometimes on cloudy days he would walk over to his favorite window and meow, demanding we bring the sun back.
    Cats seriously overestimate owners' control over the environment.
     
    • Winner x 10
    • Like x 2
    • Agree x 2
  6. PotteryWalrus

    PotteryWalrus halfway hideous and halfway sweet

    Lupin has that 'follow me!' Meow too, except in her dotage she'll often come and get me then forget what she wanted me to do by the time we get there. It's both sad and funny to see her tail and ears droop when she realises she can't tell whether it was water, kibble, or litter box this time because all those have been covered ^^;;;
     
    • Like x 3
    • Winner x 2
  7. shmeed

    shmeed plant me

    when my dog wants or needs something she gets whiny/grumbly and super wiggly. wagging tail, walking circles around me, coming close and nudging me. and when she gets like this I ask her what she wants. and every time I say "are you hungry?" she goes completely still and her face gets very serious and she stares at me with the force of 100 trains until I move and then she runs to the kitchen barking
     
    • Like x 4
    • Winner x 2
    • Witnessed x 1
  8. Mossflower

    Mossflower Active Member

    So my moms cat is living up to the orange boy cat stereotype. He’s an indoor cat that has figured out if the door isn’t shut all the way he can wiggle his paw through and pull it open. Once he steps outside though he freaks out and hides under the nearest object until someone sees the door open and comes find him. This can happen multiple times a day and each time with the same outcome.
     
    • Winner x 6
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  9. shmeed

    shmeed plant me

    i was trying to play the "which hand is the treat in" game with my dog
    i had the treat pile behind my back and would grab one and then hold my hands out and say "which one?" and open the one she touched
    and she did fine when it was my right hand
    then i switched it to my left hand
    and she gave me the most long-suffering look when my right hand was empty
    i nudged my left hand towards her and she just stared at me
    i wiggled it and said "touch." i was trying. i was working with her. and she just stared at me
    and then she got up and walked behind me and started eating the treat pile
     
    • Winner x 8
    • Like x 2
  10. LadyNighteyes

    LadyNighteyes Wicked Witch of the Radiant Historia Fandom

    When my mom came to pick me up to do yard work today, she had the dogs, and the stand mixer my grandma had given me was in a box in the back seat.

    The Goob was in the front seat. He never rides in the front seat.

    Mom informed me that he was so confused by the presence of the mysterious object in the back seat where he usually jumps in that instead of, say, jumping into the footwell and climbing onto the seat (which is what the other two did), he went in the other door and jumped in the front seat. Because the box was Confusing And Scary and things are Incorrect. He spent the entire trip back to parents' house trembling with excitement because he was having a New Experience. :::PPP
     
    • Winner x 6
  11. thegrimsqueaker

    thegrimsqueaker 28 Moribunding Mouse Aggravates the Angry Assholes

    !!

    what a fantastic lil scaredy pup!
     
    • Agree x 1
  12. shmeed

    shmeed plant me

    i finished up a phase of work and started to stretch out a bit before starting on the next part. my boyfriend was sitting on the couch a few feet away. he leaned over and reached out his hand. i reached out my hand. a cute little moment, immediately interrupted by my dog, who hopped off her bed and placed herself directly between our outstretched arms, then nudged them apart with her snoot and looked me, then him in the eyes imploringly. time for dog.
     
    • Winner x 7
    • Like x 3
    • Agree x 1
  13. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    valour keeps taking her bedtime tux biscuits into my room to eat them on the carpet by the door

    yesterday she took them into the spare room instead


    in conclusion ???????
     
    • Agree x 4
  14. rats

    rats 21 Bright Forge Shatters The Void

    @seed always dog time. forever.
     
    • Agree x 5
    • Like x 1
  15. Mossflower

    Mossflower Active Member

    Necroing this thread for one heck of a story I was just told by my sister

    Now the stars of this show are my very long haired outdoor cats Littlefoot and Bandit, our yorkie Taffy, my two younger sisters, and a sticky fly strip.

    It all started when sister 1 happened to look outside and noticed something odd. Littlefoot was sprinting and stopping. sprinting and stopping across the yard. At some point he got close enough that she could see that there was one of those sticky fly trips that comes in a tube and you hang from the ceiling stuck to his back and he was dragging it along behind him. This was of course freaking out the cat but she just figured someone else would take care of it.

    As fate would have it though Taffy decided she needed to go outside. While she was walking the yorkie around the yard Littlefoot comes up to her wanting to be petted and trying to get some treats. So sister 1 decides to try and get the thing off the cat by grabbing the little cardboard tube and just simply yanking it off, but the little tube instead pops off and the movement freaks out the cat who runs off only to come back a minute later with the trap no longer on his back but now stuck to his side and up under one of his front legs. She bites the bullet and grabs a hold of the strip with three fingers, but each time she goes to pull on it it scares the cat and he runs off only to come back rinse and repeat.

    Finally she gets the thing off Littlefoot who now looks as she puts it. "been molested by a snail." from all the sticky goo left in his fur. So she continues walking the dog still carrying the tube and sticky trap to throw away, and gets to where this big green wagon is sitting in the yard full of hay. Now one thing you need to know about Taffy is she's lazy. If she gets the least bit tired on a walk she will stop in her tracks and make you pick her up and carry her back inside. When they got to this wagon she decided she was tired and ready to go back inside.

    Now sister 1 had gave Taffy a bath earlier today and didn't want to get the sticky in her fur off the trap so she sat the trap on top of the hay and managed to maneuver Taffy so she was over her shoulder in a sort of fireman's carry with her little back paws just kind of dangling. This is where Bandit comes in.

    No one ever said this cat was smart but she decides to jump on top of this hay bale where she had seen the thing that had tortured her brother laying and the trap just latches on to her. Now according to sister 1 this cat jumped a good 10 feet in a single leap and ran faster than she had ever seen a cat run back to the driveway. So here's sister 1 a dog over one shoulder one hand covered in sticky fly goo, and a second cat stuck to this trap.

    She follows the cat back up to the driveway and tries to get the trap but as soon as she touches it Bandit sprints off crashing headfirst into the side of our oldest and still very much feral shorthair cat, Momma, and she is just praying that the trap doesn't get stuck to Momma or stick them together otherwise this is going to get messier then it already was cause there was no way she was getting clawed by Momma trying to get her lose. In the one bit of good luck she had had this whole time Bandit kept going and Momma was left looking very confused and wondering what in the hell was wrong with her niece, but unstuck.

    At this point sister 1 had finally managed to make it inside and bursts through the front door and just immediately commands. "Help me." to sister 2 who was standing in the kitchen. Just seeing Taffy with her legs just kind of hanging from how sister 1 was having to hold her sister 2 was about to freak out thinking that something had happened to the dog. After managing to get Taffy transferred to sister 2, sister 1 goes back out to where Bandit was back on the porch and grabs the trap with both hands and yanks it off the cat.

    She goes back inside and tosses the trap away and spends the next 20 minutes washing the goo off her hands.



    I don't have the heart to tell her that the trap I had hung up in my room to catch the gnats has disappeared.
     
    • Winner x 12
  16. thegrimsqueaker

    thegrimsqueaker 28 Moribunding Mouse Aggravates the Angry Assholes

    oh noooooo
     
    • Agree x 3
  17. turtleDove

    turtleDove Well-Known Member

    Our cat (technically Matesprit's cat) Eris is a polydactyl grey brat who's a technicality away from being longhaired and is one generation out from being feral. (Her mama was feral, she's been with people since she was small enough to fit in Matesprit's dad's shirt pocket.) In addition to being a mutant cat with thumbs on all four paws, she's clever. Clever enough to have learned the habit of picking things up with her paws and waiting until we looked over in her direction to drop them; clever enough to have connected the link between 'if I knock things over, the humans will Pay Attention' and 'if the humans are Paying Attention, I can make them follow me places' so now when she wants to, for example, wake a person up because it's 6 AM and she is positively starved and needs breakfast Right Now, she won't go with more subtle means of trying to wake you up if she can go straight to shoving things off the nearest surface and waiting for the clattering noises to do the job for her.

    It does mean that we can't leave drinking glasses or plates - or anything small and easily lost under the couch - on the table in the front room, though; she's prone to getting offended and deciding that she wants to sit on the table and clearing off space for herself.

    She's also quite good at itty bitty kitty insurance fraud: she'll get close enough to being underfoot that it'll seem like you might have stepped on one of her paws, and then yell like you actually did, in the hopes of guilt-tripping food out of people. And she did manage to run a con on us for a bit, after her food dish got switched for one of those catit puzzle toys that requires fishing the kibble out of tubes; she made it seem like she couldn't get the kibble out of some of the tubes, so she'd pester us until we moved the kibble (or added more kibble) to an 'easier' spot.
    Turns out, she can get the kibble out of every tube just fine, she's just lazy and doesn't want to do more work for her food than she absolutely has to - especially not when it's work that isn't guaranteed a reward. This seems to be her philosophy towards cat toys, too - she'll play with string and things on string quite happily, but she'll try and pin the toy down and keep it in place rather than letting you pull it back so she has to go after it again.

    She's also really, really fond of me and will, if given the opportunity, trot down the hallway to curl up and sleep on my bed. Which I technically shouldn't really be letting her do, but she's old and I suspect she's a bit lonely these days since she spends a lot of her time in the front room because she and Owl can't be free to interact with each other without lots of supervision and generally trying to pick fights with each other despite supervision.

    Owl is Hummingbird's cat, and is dumb as a brick. She's a rescue from a feral colony, and was rescued because the people who brought her in weren't sure she was smart enough to survive on her own - which is a justified concern, since I'm pretty sure that Owl does not actually have any significant degree of object permanence. She also has severe food anxiety and cannot be convinced that she's not about to starve. (She is not; she is actually overweight and so is Eris.) This is part of why she and Eris can't be allowed to interact: Eris can be given a measured quantity of food and left to her own devices, and she'll nibble away at it throughout the day as she feels hungry - there might even be a bit left by the time she's expecting her next portion. Owl not only will eat all the kibble put in front of her immediately, she will go after any other available edible things and try to eat them if not watched; she'll try and stick her head into her auto-feeder, if you're refilling it, so that she can inhale any remaining kibble in it. She'll eat any food Eris has left (which results in Eris getting understandably pissy at Owl). She'll steal pieces of pizza, and potato chips, and try to drink your soup - if she recognizes it as a food, she'll try and eat it. The times when she's managed to find the food bag, we've found out about it because she's shoved herself halfway into it and is scarfing down as much as she can. (Fortunately, she seems to just...ignore her own puke.)

    On its own, this wouldn't be so bad; it'd only require keeping them separated during feeding time and making sure that Eris' food is put away so Owl can't steal it. But Owl is both incredibly anxious around other cats (especially ones bigger than her, which is most cats), and prone to trying to pick fights with Eris. So now we keep them in two different rooms, because Eris is not only about twice Owl's size, she's also way better at hunting and fighting than Owl is. (Prior to moving to areas where Eris had to stay inside for her own safety, she used to be an indoor/outdoor cat and would bring home things she'd caught or killed. The list of things I recall that she brought home included a lot of mice, a hummingbird that I don't think was dead, and a snake twice her size that definitely wasn't dead. We had a running joke that one day she was going to bring home a dead moose and we'd have a really awkward conversation with the wildlife officers.)

    Both of them like exploring my closet, although I don't know what they're looking for in there. And they both like sitting at the window in my room, especially if it's open so they can smell the outside; Owl will, if able, jump right up onto the ledge and doesn't seem to care as much if she's got to make a straight leap or if she can do it in a couple of smaller hops. Eris has gotten to the point where if she's not supremely confident in what she's going to jump from and doesn't have to go very far up, she'd rather find another avenue to get there and may flat-out just bug me until I pick her up and lift her to the ledge. (She can usually get down just fine, she just doesn't like the ascent; I'm not sure if she doesn't have a bit of arthritis.)
     
    • Winner x 6
    • Like x 1
  18. LadyNighteyes

    LadyNighteyes Wicked Witch of the Radiant Historia Fandom

    So. Recently, my mom became somewhat concerned about the oldest and most decrepit of their three Boston Terriers, Elliot, because he developed a weird lump.
    buttlump.png
    You can sort of see it in this pic: the big, weird, awkward bump sticking out on the left side of his butt. It's significantly more obvious in person.

    He didn't seem bothered when anyone poked it, so she didn't think it was life-threatening, but it seemed to be growing, so she eventually caved and brought him to a vet to have it looked it.

    You want to know what it was?

    It was a fat deposit.

    He put on weight and for some reason it went straight to a lump on the side of his butt the size of half an egg.

    The Alarming Lump is now much less alarming and much, much funnier.
     
    • Witnessed x 5
    • Informative x 1
    • Useful x 1
  19. Artemis

    Artemis i, an asexual moron

    Luka's dog having The Lumps was the only thing reason I didn't freak out when this starting happening to our beag. At least none of hers are on her butt, she just has a small grapefruit on her chest (it doesn't seem to bother her so????????) and random fat-pebbles all over her back and sides. Bless bumpybutt dog.
     
    • Agree x 2
  20. Saro

    Saro Where is wizard hut

    The Black Cat has a new favorite toy: cork coasters

     
    • Winner x 4
    • Like x 1
    • Witnessed x 1
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