Requesting Funny Pet Stories

Okay so

Lupin needs her claws clipping regularly because she sharpens them often but rarely uses them except to knead my shoulder and chest of a morning (add aclawpuncture to the above post lol)

She used to be fine with this because one of her most dominate purrsonality traits is being Eternally Fine With My Bullshit. But the last year or so her arthritis has gotten bad enough that me messing with her toes is less than tolerable, often resulting into growling, and, if I don't listen to the complaints, strike-snapping which is less actual biting and more kinda, lightly smacking me with her teeth?

So I took advice from an internet friend and started putting a thin sock over her head when claw clipping was needed. This worked for a time, except...

TODAY SHE PULLED THE SOCK OFF WITH HER BACK FEET D: And then slap-smacked me with her head again.

I wanted to be mad, but I feel like it was such a feat of problem-solving for an individual who usually doesn't have to think harder than the route from our bed to her bowl and back, and how to wake me in the mornings - reader, I gave her treats anyway.

At least I got her dewclaws and most of her forepaws done, which are usually the most stabby culprits ^^;;;

 

What a clever girl.

 

Boo is under the impression that when I'm writing in a notebook it's Time For Cat and is insistent about being in a lap. Unfortunately, the notebook is already taking up most of my lap and her Mighty Girth gets in the way of me writing. No matter how many times I shove her off she keeps trying to climb back up on the couch with me and get as in the way as possible. It's not entirely her fault. She's learned that reading time is lap time and she's welcome to sprawl out on my tum when I'm holding a book, and I can't expect her to know that a novel and a notebook are different things.

 

My friend's dog is spoiled rotten. He brings it with him almost everywhere, and always brings it out to larping, to the point where around 2 pm on wednesdays she starts getting antsy to go for a ride. Today it's freezing, like 20 degrees out, so she was supposed to stay home, because she's a tiny pup with thin fur, not made for the winter.

As soon as my friend opened the door to leave she darted out and ran to the truck, so he went back inside to get her sweater so she would be a little warmer. When she got to field she was shivering so she got a scarf too, wrapped around her neck and head five times.

 

Necroing this thread for a funny story involving my gf and my bearded dragon Mordremoth.

So this Sunday we did our usual clean out of this tank where we throw his liner into the laundry and wipe everything down while he’s getting his own bath. This time gf decided that she was tired of him always flinging this old shoebox hide around the cage so that one of us has to move it back so she took it out.

One thing to know about this dragon is that he’s a total drama queen that hates change and isn’t afraid to show his displeasure with you. For example, I had to bribe him with hornworms to get him to eat after getting him a bigger cage.

Fast forward to Late Tuesday and this dragon has barely eaten much of anything and barely moved since. So gf is over here freaking out that he might be sick or something and I’m trying to get her to relax telling her that he’s just trying to get sympathy from us and he’ll go back to normal soon since I’ve seen him pull this stunt many times before.

Then she notices him staring at the shoebox on the top of his cage and this happens.

gf: “Is he really mad that I took away his box?”

Gf: *puts shoebox back into his tank*

Mordy: *immediately climbs on top of the box and starts head bobbing at her.*

Gf: *proceeds to cuss out my dragon for making her freak out*

gf: I hate your dragon! All this over a fucking shoebox!

me: *wiping away tears from laughing so hard* told you he was a drama queen. He doesn’t like things being taken out unless you replace it.

gf: I really hate your dragon.

So yeah my bearded dragon went on a hunger strike because gf took away the ratty old box in his tank.

 

REVIVING THIS THREAD BECAUSE THE FAT DACHSHUND DID SOMETHING INCREDIBLE TONIGHT!

So Puddle is 13 years old, fat, and lazy. Her favorite things in the world are french fries, cuddling, and naps. Sometimes she makes a break for it, when we let her off her leash, but her usual top speed is about a human's brisk walk.

We've been making fun of her and the Orphan (dog with separation anxiety) for a couple days, saying how we're not scared of them running away. Orphan because she's not a big fan of away. Puddle because Puddle does not run.

Well apparently she heard us talking shit, because tonight after DnD we took them for a walk, and as soon as Puddle was down the stairs and on flat ground, she broke into a sprint. A full on doggy gallop that was about as fast as my mid-speed run. I'd guess she was going about 8 mph, which for a dachshund with legs about as long as your average tea spoon, is PRETTY DAMN FAST. She kept going for at least a quarter mile, too! And she kept walking at her usual quick pace for the rest of our mile long nightly walk.

Five minutes after we got home she passed out and started snoring. But holy shit, the fat dachshund went for a run.

 

This happened last year but I still think about it and chuckle sometimes so I'm posting it here.
My girlfriend and I were going to bed, it was like 2 AM, I was hungry and really craving beef jerky for some reason. I voice this, and gf being who she is is like 'oh for real? i got a bag in my desk for emergencies' and pulls it out.
The SECOND the bag opens her roommate's cat literally sprints into the room, leaps onto our bed, and starts scream-meowing at us. We did not get to eat the jerky. We had to put it away because the little criminal was INSATIABLE and would not stop sticking his face into the bag of jerky. We had to hide it in the desk drawer under a bunch of books to get him to go away. It was hilarious.