Requesting Funny Pet Stories

My cat likes to wake me up for breakfast by pulling my hair. She will walk right over, put her adorable little paws on my skull for leverage, bite my hair as close as she can to my scalp, and then pull as hard as she can. Apparently this is just "grooming" behavior, like how some cats will lick your hair. Funny thing though, she only does this after I've slept in too long (meaning: after 7am). I try to only "wake up" and give her food after she's stopped and is just laying down on the bed so I don't reinforce her. But alas, she's already figured out that she can at least get my attention by pawing at my face and pulling my hair.

I know this sounds horrible, but this little shit is also the most affectionate cat I've ever had, and she's also the only cat I've ever had that will actually drop whatever fascinating cat thing she is doing (like looking out the window or murdering a toy) to snuggle with me if I'm not feeling well mentally/emotionally. So she is this sensitive, sweet, loving little kitty... who is not afraid to resort to violence to get what she wants.

 

Latest dogsitting story: puppy (Buster) is chewing on a thing. He drops it, goes over to the door, and rings the bell to go out. I get up to let him out. He runs back, grabs the chew toy, and then bolts out the door carrying it. I ended up having to dig out a flashlight and go search for it in the dark and rain because he dropped it when he got out there. I suspect he realized mid-door-opening that if he left it in the house, one of the other dogs might grab it, and that was CLEARLY unacceptable. :::PPP

 

Momo is... well, she's cute. and also the dumbest dog I've ever met. poor bb forgets how doors work. I'll be standing there in the doorway trying to get her to come in and she'll just be like "??? but... can't? tried b4 :(" and it's the most heartbreakingly stupid thing I've ever seen

that sounds exactly like my brother's old cat, Luke. he was found w the rest of his litter under a bar's patio, and after he was weened he survived by begging drunk ppl for food, which worked rly well, and then my brother found him when he was maybe three months old? and my brother tried to keep him as an indoor cat, but Luke refused bc he rly liked picking fights w the neighborhood strays

Momo's half sister, Alex, has trained dad to pick her up and put her on the bed, even though she could easily jump up if she wanted to. but that's more her being manipulative than anything else

 

wrt accidental kicking of pet-monsters- yo, it happens. also, tails get caught in doors a lot. and ppl and dogs and cats trip over each other a lot. and sometimes the dogs have a party in the kitchen when everyone's asleep and the Momo ends up mysteriously sticky

just, shit happens

 

on the topic of pets doing really weird things: one time i walked into the glasshouse and there was a chicken. that was normal, the door that leads into their run is kept open.
the chicken was sham dustbathing in a pile of straw right next to a suitable dustbathing substrate. that is not normal.

 

We take my dog to the ocean sometimes and she spends literally hours barking at the waves, running back and forth along the shore and biting at them. We think she is trying to herd them.

 

@seed I've grown up w herding dogs and I find this entirely plausible

 

things grim has seen various herding dogs try to herd:

• sheep
• ducks
• goats (middling success on this)
• small children (generally highly successful)
• a giraffe (unsuccessful bc fence was in the way)
• each other
• hounds (surprisingly similar results to herding goats)
• cats (highly unsuccessful)
  
• adult humans
• yorkies (oddly successful)
  
• chihuahuas (ended w much offense and one mildly squished chihuahua)
  
• a single Rhodesian ridgeback (much confusion on the poor rhody's part)
• leaves
• a judge at an obedience trial

 

As has been mentioned before, Missy is deeply addicted to tennis balls. Both the other dogs enjoy hassling her about this. Elliot sits on her ball or tries to body-block whoever she brought it to from being able to throw it, and Buster will steal it and run around with it so she has to pull it out of his mouth to get it back.

 

I gotta get my parents to get smartphones so they can get video proof of Freddy, who has the world's longest, most monotone meow, it is so ridiculous

 

pls post this proof asap

this is for science

 

did they win the trial,

 

no, no they did not

but they felt they got a better prize bc they got the audience to laugh, and beardies are class clowns

 

Observation: today my cat pulled my hair when I was obviously already awake, but I wasn't giving her 100% of my attention (also she didn't have breakfast yet). Not as hard as usual though, like she was trying to comb my hair with her teeth.

Conclusion: maybe she just likes to violently express her affection for me (and also express that if I don't give her breakfast soon she will eat me instead)

 

The puppy is sitting on my foot and has placed the hoof he's chewing on over my toes and is chewing it with my toes inside. I felt everyone needed to know this.

 

yes, yes I did

 

when I adopted this cat, I had no idea what kind of toys she liked, so I got a couple of crinkly balls that my other cats used to like. so far I've found that she likes string, catnip, and occasionally zerg-rushing a crinkle toy before ignoring it again. but today - today I heard clattering and went to see that she'd found an ancient plush toy that the other cats had ignored completely, and was tossing it around the room. like, throwing it short distances somehow, and then chasing it and/or trying to get it out of whatever it landed in. I love this tiny cat so much you guys

 

awwwww! she's doing the death toss that's meant to break her prey's neck! that's so cute!

 

Patches, the little beaglehound that could, is frequently funny, but not often in ways that make for good isolated stories I can remember well to regale a crowd with. She's simply a personality, as they say.

I did a lot of extended catsitting for a lady my mom knows, though. Like, nine months total, or something, with months in a row consecutive.

Tiger and Fatty were... well, to start with, they were very descriptively named. I would upload photos, but the greatest loss when I got a new smartphone and the files didn't transfer is the loss of their large album (I loved these cats, I made them my phone background and never changed it). Tiger was an orange tabby, and Fatty was the fattest white-with-spots cat. He was so fat. He was so frick fracking fat. However fat you are imagining, just. Just imagine more.

Which made it really alarming when one night, I woke up and felt... a disturbance.

I look at The Box. It is empty. There was The Box that Fatty and Tiger liked to sleep in, you see, which stayed next my own couchbed.
I look at The Suitcase. It is empty, as well. For WHATEVER REASON, they FUCKING LOVED using my closed suitcase as a cat bed. Fucking. Loved it. Even after repeated vacuumings, there's still cat hair embedded in that thing.
I hear a soft, rumbly, mro.
I look up.

And that is how I learned that despite my first few days being deceived into thinking Fatty is too fat to jump on any high ledges or shelves on his own, is on top of the very high mounted tv and looks as bewildered to find himself up there as I am to see him. He's so high I can't reach him if I stretch and reach my arms as high as I can.

Reflective eyes blinked at me

I blinked back.

"Well, I hope you get down."

And I went back to sleep.

In the morning he was back in the box, and for the rest of the months I never once saw him up there again.

???????????

cats

I love them.

 

my mother has taught ruby an evil laugh.
however, she usually just...laughs at random.

like. wakes up from napping on my door? evil laughter.
licks someone's feet to make them squeal? silence and a smug parrot face.