(things I was going to do and didn’t redacted) misestimated my endurance; rookie mistake. I'll try again tomorrow.
sleep eludes me, so i have set my sights on other goals: challah (dishwasher needs to be run twice for this) setting up therapy app distilling inventory into a coherent shopping list (must be divided into "how long can we go without" and "where do we buy it from") making a meal plan - several things need to be used up cleaning stove and counters
I got overambitious and wore myself out trying to stuff everything into one day. (I went back and edited some previous posts to redact specifics that were making me feel defensive and jittery to think about living up to.) Today I’m just going to pick up my computer from the repair place and attend one other appointment. After I’ve done that, rested, and eaten, I can try to pick up something bigger like mail sorting or sweeping or exercise, if I feel strong enough to do it without hurting myself. Rivals, I’m going to knock your socks off when I’m back, so if you aren’t benefitening from a little break like me, try to get a head start—you’ll need it.
what, you think I want to face you when you aren't at your best? gain back your strength and come back - I'm only interested in competing when I'll win under my own power, not because a stiff wind could knock you out!
(flinch. tell me you don't think less of me for this.) Well, I did what I intended to do. I fetched my computer (which is working ! !! !!!), had some food, and went to the place for the appointment. (I also engaged in Eccentric Hobby. I was in the area. Go figure.) Resting time is now. Feels wrong to be not doing things when there's things I feel like could do, but in the long term, well, you can't increase production by packaging up your capital and selling it. Gotta hold onto that. Rivalry is to make us be strong, not to make us look strong for a day or two.
(definitely do not - and framing in the context of this thread, it takes strength to pull back, acknowledge when you need rest, and rest until you're ready. whether because you overextended and needed to recover or because you have goal you need to be well-rested for, pulling back against pressure to keep going is important and valuable and hard. I was trying to be joky and ridiculous, but I'm sorry my language didn't adequately reflect this) well said
yes this. you didn't -- didn't do it wrong, exactly, but I also, I guess I needed actual recognition of what I'd done from you as a person and not just my rival, and I didn't know how to ask for it until I was already pretty upset about not having gotten it? if that makes sense? thank you. I still need a break, but. feel more settled about it, now.
it's probably at least part a difference in receiving - what I said is something I would have enjoyed as a response, would like hearing from someone else. but it wasn't suited to you, so I'll just have to challenge you in new ways. ;)
I was having an off couple weeks. I'm back now. Gonna go adventuring to a place where the mountain folk make machines, and see if they'll part with some of their secrets.
