((This is spock abusing my mod power to say that this is a first step at relocation, not a statement of where the thread belongs. It seems very TCHGB, but since cT has expressed strong discomfort over using TCHGB in the past, for the moment I'm leaving it in a location where she is comfortable participating in conversations.)) You won't even know then, because we will sometimes move posts for reasons other than "you did it wrong" and/or "someone complains". And we will sometimes leave posts alone even if you "did it wrong". And, at least in your particular case: In cases where I've attempted to explain to you why a specific thing would have been upsetting to people, or how you could possibly have anticipated that, you've reacted badly. Examples include reacting angrily, and insisting that I was actually talking about a different thing instead of the thing I very clearly identified (I think this is the paranoia). When other people have attempted to bring things up, they've ended up with the impression that you were vagueposting about them, sometimes months later. So have their friends. So the big problem is that your initial behaviors aren't such a big deal, but your responses to criticism are pretty much textbook narcissistic abuser responses, and even though for a number of reasons I believe that's fleas rather than who you actually are, it still results in people being completely terrified to even bring a thing up. And I'll admit, I am way more concerned about that than I am about whether or not you can reply directly to someone's post about how utterly squicked they are by infidelity with a cheerful response about how you actually think it's really hot. Because one of these things is a problem, and the other is also a problem, it's just that the second problem is you being pushy and intrusive and in people's faces about sex things. And I'm saying that because it's pretty fucking important, because we keep having all these problems, and you keep thinking they're about sex boundaries, and we keep saying "no, actually, that's not the big problem here", and you smile, nod wisely, and say "ahh, but it's actually about the sex thing, isn't it?" And while there's certainly issues there, they are not the most important issues. And we've said this various ways, more than once, in various contexts, and at this point, I'm saying it here because I think some people aren't aware that we've tried to communicate this other thing which is also important. That sucks. But all I can do is tell you the same thing I tell everyone else about policy shit: I won't lie to you about policy-type things, or what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it. If you ask why a post is getting wiggled, you'll get told why. If you think it's probably actually for another reason, that's the paranoia talking, and you will be a lot happier if you disregard it and listen to the actual reasons given. And yeah, it sucks that people have weird rules or boundaries that are hard to understand. And if you want help with that, we can try to provide it, but you have to come into the thing knowing that no one has ever figured out how this works, exactly. This is about instincts. We are trying to respect a set of rules that were developed in part by evolution, and there is no way we're going to be able to give a coherent definition, because the thing being defined isn't coherent.