Ryuuga Wagatekiwo Kurau - The Overwatch Thread

motherfucking anasprite

stealing angela's shit

it suits my purposes angela

 

Apparently "who would [character] main in Overwatch" is an ask meme thing now, so there's that, too. :::PPP

(My fave clearly mains Genji, is never on the objective, ever, and appears to completely forget it is possible for people to heal him.)

 

Tori mains Mercy and Ana because I main Mercy and Ana and I am Tori.

 

ah, yep, that's my third "AU," except better worded. CONSIDER: Jane as Completely Done With Your Shit, You're A Fucking Asshole, No I'm Not Going To Heal You I'm Going To Run Around Shooting People With My Tiny Gun And Get More Kills Than You Mercy, i.e., every single Mercy in this thread, god bless. Kanaya as Pissed-Off Mercy.

 

(Also the Big Bad of my favorite game plays nothing but Sombra and Mei.)

 

I have extensive and embarrassing headcanons about who the entire TAZ cast would main.

Magnus is a dedicated Reinhardt main, Merle jumped ship from Zenyatta to Ana as soon as she was introduced and has always been a terrible healer/surprisingly competent killer, Taako thinks "mains" are stupid and has a handle on basically every DPS in the game, but defaults to Tracer when he's decided to be a fucking tryhard. Carey and Killian exclusively play the Shimada bros, and Boyland was press ganged into being their pocket Mercy till he quit the game to i dunno spend time with his kids and wives and husbands. Noelle is not so easily pressured into support and mostly plays whichever tank'll fit the current comp, with a special fondness for D.va. Brad is Lucio, obviously, and obviously Merle accidentally nano-boosts him every time the play with him. Johan likes Symmetra, the Director is Merle's Battle Nana Buddy and when she's stressed out they go into no-limits mode and attempt to chain sleep a target for entire rounds, possibly while stoned.

 

Pretty sure Maya Ducard mains Sombra. Because a) being invisible and pink is ALREADY her thing, and b) pretty sure that Sombra's entire harassment skillset is right up her alley. Though she might also play Mercy, but. exclusively when another person complains about healers, so that she can then enact the 'sorry you were being rude in asking for heals so now you die' vengeance.

(damian. damian wayne is the person who gets no heals because he was being a jerk. 'why did you even switch to mercy you could have just stayed as Sombra' because fuck u is why.)

 

(Raynie keeps switching to Widowmaker even though she sucks at Widowmaker because she got the Odile skin and Halloween victory pose and thinks both of them are the funniest thing ever. Marco mains Ana and refuses to heal her on principle whenever she's doing this.)

 

Shoutout to the Widomakerwho kept crouching and left my Mercy ass in the fucking cold by making herself untargetable.

 

so what I'm hearing is that I can now dump all my maining headcanons? yes? yes.

Spoiler: all the headcanons. all of them.

okay actually I'll start with the kids, because there are a lot of Homestuck characters, and also because I am forever and always kid trash.

• as stated above, Jane plays an increasingly disgruntled Mercy until she loses her faith in humanity and goes Mei for a while. once her rage is vented she feels increasingly guilty about wrecking people's shit and eventually atones for her misdeeds by going Mercy again. rinse and repeat.
• Roxy mains Sombra, obviously, because, like. Pink and Stealth and 1337 HAXXOR BITCH, hello. also she just genuinely enjoys fucking with people. what, you thought I was over there? really? that's just too bad EAT CODE FUCKERS
  • she is also fond of D.Va, because 1) gamer grrl 2) mech!!! and 3) she can still troll people, except "trolling" in this case involves lots of death.
• Jake is really enthusiastic about engaging with the enemy!! and plays literally everyone like they are a tank. this is fine when he's... actually playing a tank, but he thinks that most of the tanks are BORING and is prone to maining McCree, who he figures is basically a tank anyway aND HIS ULT IS AMAZING. ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS USING THE ULT.
  • comparatively, tanking with McCree is fine, really. it's when he rolls a random sniper that shit really hits the fan. nO JAKE WIDOWMAKER IS NOT INTENDED FOR MELEE COMBAT
  • needless to say, Jake is kind of shit at Overwatch. this in no way discourages him from doing any of this.
• Rose, on the other hand, is the Widowmaker of your nightmares. or the Reaper of your nightmares. actually, if someone has an edgy grimdark skin, she'll happily play them, and she'll play them well.
• Dave mains Tracer and Lúcio, because time, sick beats, etc. depends on the team's composition, and he's good at both. he's one of those "I'm fine, I'm doing my flanking thing, what do you mean health packs and healing, oh wait I died lol" players, though, and occasionally enrages a healer (i.e., Jane or Jade) into unwisely chasing him all around creation to heal him.
• speaking of Jade, she mains Ana, as whom she has a tendency to ignore healing for a while and start killing some fuckers (and she WILL NOT heal you if you're being a dick, hands down), and, well. Bastion. nature and UTTER DESTRUCTION, how could she resist??
• I feel like Dirk exclusively plays Genji, not so much because he best suits his play style or even the situation at hand but because he must maintain the Weeb Aesthetic.
  • okay, maybe also Hanzo, if someone else has already called Genji.
  • if he must choose a tank he'll go with D.Va. he pretends it's ironic but under like ten layers of disingenuousness he just has fun playing her.
• John is almost as shit as Jake, except that he plays like a tank as a tank, i.e., Reinhardt, because hammer. he is incredibly stubborn about playing only Reinhardt, which is somewhat reasonable given that he's terrible at everyone else.

 

I'm so annoyed at how difficult Orisa is for me to wrap my head around. I main tanks and healers. I specialize in spending abilities keeping teammates safe. The ability to drop shields where I need them and body block damage + knock people out of position, it's basically everything I goddamned do, why the hell does she feel so ack basswards to play??

Unrelated, but a Mccree very cutely thanked me in voice chat for using defense matrix to cover his retreat back to a health pack, and that basically made my night right there.

 

Orisa's a bit odd, because her abilities feel like they should be intuitive, but they aren't for me. I think she's definitely going to be a tank with a steeper learning curve, like Zarya or Roadhog (I am still baffled the Roadhog is apparently a one-star difficulty character according to Blizzard) because she doesn't have the health pool for stupid mistakes and a lot of her abilities are very focused on crowd control and mitigating crowd control.

 

Oh man I finally got to play as Orisa today and it was sooooo much fun, she's exactly the kind of tank I love to be in other games
combining Rein's shield with crowd control and the stability which makes it harder for you to be killed, and I feel like I'm much better at using her gun than literally anyone else's gun?

Granted, I'm still figuring out how to use her gravitron thing well, and it really doesn't help that I kept experiencing lag which made it so I was basically guessing when to activate it, but she's SO MUCH FUN. I think she may end up being my favorite

 

According to Sources Orisa's probably gonna get a minor buff petty son, just because her massive critbox lowers her survivability too much to properly tank. I heard someone suggest an extra hundred points of armor to counter that, which would probably work. Her kit is fine if a little unintuitive. Her big problem is dying too fast.

 

Still haven't tried her yet. People are getting better with her but yes, she's too easily killed.

 

Having played a bit more of Orisa, she's got D.va's same issue where she can't fucking deal with quick little targets at close range, and she's best utilized for dissuading enemies from poking their heads out and shredding tanks. Unlike D.va, however, she can't escape once flanked, and a small, static shield that can't be re-positioned at will doesn't really help her make her escape. She works well against static, close knit teams, and she falls apart against flanky dive comps. I think my biggest issue with her is that she's not a dive tank, so I can't focus on getting kills and knocking folks about, but I also can't use her like a Reinhardt/Zarya/Hog to keep flankers off my healers/DPS. I like the ability to snipe people off of vantage points without having to venture into risky territory myself, but I don't really see Halt utilized, even when it pulls like three people from cover. I dunno, I just don't know when I'd use her. But, then again, I rarely play the static tanks, and in general prefer characters with a lil bit of mobility, so. Maybe she just ain't the tank for me.

Speaking of mobility, I think I could get in to Genji. I've gotten kinda okay at jukes with baby D.va, Mercy, and other lil squishies, but Genji is the juke king, ain't he? It's fun. Got 12 dragonblade kills last round I played as him, which was pretty cool.

 

Oh!! I also witnessed the douchiest fucking thing ever today!! On Eichenwalde, a Bastion with a pocket Rein + Mercy, parked sorta inside a light post, so that he could shoot through, but our shots were blocked. I was so confused why I wasn't getting hit markers when I had my reticle right on top of this motherfucker, but then I saw the kill cam, and it's like, oh. Oh. You absolute monster.

 

To the Ana parked on top of the payload: hey, thanks for not healing my Orisa despite being two steps behind you the whole time. You weren't even doing anything else, just standing there. Then I died and so did 4 of the squishies I was protecting and we lost the fucking match. Good going.