Ryuuga Wagatekiwo Kurau - The Overwatch Thread

Sometimes you just can't save 'em.

I am increasingly unable to tolerate Quick Play. People are so stupid there. I get frustrated and then start being Attack Mercy because nobody else can hit a damn thing, and that's really not optimal.

When it gets really bad I just switch to Widowmaker and have fun sniping without caring for win/lose.

 

I'm so mad. I was having a rare not terrible Zarya round, and that same Genji had just got a penta kill off my earlier ult. I thought we were bros. We were supposed to be in this together, Genji. I gave you PoTG, and this how you do me??

 

I feel like Zarya ought to be the ultimate fandom wingman. Her ult is entirely setting other people up for sick multikills, why ain't she Broshiped with all her common ult buddies like Tracer and Hanzo?

Do other people not use their in game experiences to inform their characterization???

 

yet another reason to ship Mei and Zarya, they can bond over being the ones who set things up for people :D

 

Or, consider: Zarya and Ana, ultimate wingmen, wingman each other to hot Nan on Bodybuilder action.

 

as an ana main i approve

 

Granny needs some buff Russian action.

 

how many people will i ship ana with by the end

all of them is the answer

 

The thing is, my only apparent criteria for who I ship healers with is who in game I most love playing with. So, Ana in a tank sandwich with 76 on the side, Mercy with Hog, Pharah, and Hanzo/Widow(I've learned to love a teammate who stays apart from the group and the enemy both), Lucio with Rein, Hog, and Symmetra, Zen doesn't give a fuck, Zen gets his own fucking frags, but honestly a good Hog helps, and maybe what I'm saying here is that I just ship Hog with all the healers.

The point is, a nanoboosted Zarya with high energy is death on wheels, so into the ship pile it goes.

 

Oh god, a Widow who's good at perching but still being accesible is the best thing when you're Mercy. I'd rank good Widows over good Pharahs, even, if only because usually Pharahs are in the thick of things but Widows have nice walls and shit for me to hide my tearful witch ass behind.

 

My criteria is based off what I think sounds cute, vague bits from voice clips or canon, and sheer unadulterated spite. Also I mean being like fuck yeah Ana/Mercy. Imagine what a mess that could have been. A bright young pacifist who has yet to have her wings torn off. A beautiful world renowned sniper who mothers her men and has a sarcastic streak and guilt river a mile wide.

it is a romance for the ages

 

especially because ana "dies" and then steals mercy's research and tech and alters it in a way that pisses mercy the fuck off

 

I think he's a police commissioner or something like that.
But yeah, I have to endorse that. I mean, in game, you can totally take Bastions down with assault rifles and SMGs, so...

 

i'm like... mixed feelings about the deal with bastion and torb.

I'm glad to see some development on Torb's end because I do want to like him, but I'm left with a strange resentment about him that I rarely feel? Idk, I'm in the minority here because Bastion is actually my favourite character and I worry about Bastion just becoming a one note morality pet or something in the future. I'm glad to see Bastion interact with anybody, but I worry.

 

me: has read this entire fuckin' thread, watched all of the animated shorts, and read all of the comics in one day, namely, today
me: has never in his life played a first-person shooter (unless you count Rayman Rabbits on the Wii, which. no)
me: is absolute shit at video games, not kidding, it took me like ten hours to learn to move around in Stardew Valley competently
me: video games aside, also just has shit reflexes
me: does not own a PC, let alone any kind of gaming console
me: deSPERATELY WANTS TO PLAY OVERWATCH NOW, OH MY GOD, WHY IS THIS MY LIFE (characters that I particularly want to try include but are not limited to Tracer, Widowmaker, Death Grandma, Symmetra, D.Va, Sombra, and Genji, I am apparently a flanker kinda guy)

in conclusion: THANKS SEEBS

 

death grandma is now what she shall be known as

 

HAS NO ONE CALLED HER THAT YET I THOUGHT SOMEONE HAD AND I WAS MERELY BEING IMITATIVE
BUT NO I AM A FORCE OF CREATION
GLORIOUS

 

i just call her grandma usually or granny

 

and in the scary mask she can be darth grandma

 

oh my god I almost forgot about the extensive Homestuck/Overwatch fusion multiverse* I've constructed, also just today, in which probably every single Overwatch character is wildly mischaracterized because I haven't actually played any of them. also my design of Brobot/Lil Hal incarnate/Dirk as a cyborg/??? à la Genji, which is. certainly something. that I spent several hours on. yep. it's still wildly asymmetric though it bothers me viscerally

*there's an AU where the Overwatch heroes play SBURB, terribly, everyone dies, it's very tragic, and also one where Homestuck characters fight in the same... organization?... as the Overwatch heroes and are like marginally okay at it, and then there's the one that's not so much an AU as me deciding which Homestuck characters are like which Overwatch ones and laughing my ass off at the thought of Jake as Widowmaker**

**I will elaborate on all of these, particularly the last, at the slightest provocation, but I'm not sure I ought to clutter up this thread with crossover shit?