sighs a lot probably don't even deserve to have somewhere to keep whining about things i ruined myself but wow i feel so awful lately i feel like all i ever do is ruin my own opportunities and hurt people i'm not going to get anything out of real life, i'm stuck here doing nothing until i die with no point in it because i'm too physically ill to even go out regularly. all i am is a burdern to people who try to help. stuff like tumblr used to be an escape for a while, somewhere i could help people and feel like i was genuinely doing something good and worthwhile. until DID decided to fuck that up for me because i'm too weak to even see something upsetting without dissociating and an alter hurting people. i worsened that myself by handling it badly because i was terrified to even talk to the people charm hurt. people there probably hate me now and i deserve it, all i've done is hurt people anyway. then somebody decides to literally steal my name and interests and entire way of talking, and when i try to ask them to stop i get yelled at and called slurs by a friend of theirs i'd never even met. said friend is still sending me hare trying to spread shit about me saying i'm an awful person and there's nothing i can do. i just want to be a good person and not hurt people anymore. it feels like hyrting people is all i'm alive to do. idk why i'm still here. i'm probably just manipulative even typing this.