* BURSTS INTO THREAD LIKE KOOLAID MAN * HEY WHAT'S UP IT'S TIME FOR "SARO READS MANGA: DB SUPER EDITION"!!!
Ch 1 Hey so remember all that shit from the last two chapters? Just kind of... forget about it. Put it away on a shelf. Maybe even pretend it never happened. Oob, what Oob? (The God of Destruction's Prophetic Dream) It's time. Time to put on whatever the theme for Super is and just go fucking nuts. Or you can just listen to Chala Head Chala, which is the superior DB opening even if it's absolutely bananas. Teach a dinosaur to ride a ball indeed. Fuck, now I have to listen to it. Goddamn it's got those good good 80's vibes that I crave. And also Gohan on the weirdest fucking bike I've ever seen. Anyway. So, first things first, I believe the artist is not Toriyama, which is sad but whatever, I guess it's not the 80's to 90's anymore, can't just expect him to draw more DB all the time. Which unfortunately means some of the art-related charm is gone, at least for me. Then there's also the fact that it's very very likely drawn digitally, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it does mean that the lines are very clean, which makes me sad, because I liked the janky inked lines from the original. But, well, the things we do for love. First page is a recap of the end of the Boo stuff. Yeah, yeah, no need to do that, I already did it. "And since then, the days and month have slowly passed on by..." hey so have you ever wondered "does goku have a job or does he spend all of his time punching people?" well, wonder no more. farmer. yep. that's right. with a tractor-type vehicle and everything. does it fly? Goku doesn't seem to be feeling the farming all that much, or maybe he just had a late night. Whatever the case, he's yawning an awful lot, and isn't even aware that it's Sunday when Goten stops by to drop off lunch. (Glad to hear that Goten is going to school, though.) He has Goten drive the tractor for him while he eats, which seems like a bad idea because it looks like Goten can hardly see over the hood, he's so small. At least give him a book to sit on or something! But of course there aren't any books to be had. DINOSAUR!!! Having eaten, it's time to... not get back to tractor driving, apparently. It's time to turn super saiyan and pretend to be fighting first Frieza and then Cell (and handily defeating them, of course, because really? at this point? Frieza? I guess Cell's not so bad but Frieza???) from the outside Of course, last is Boo. And just when Goku's about to vanquish him ((again, but with maybe a bit less of a fuss this time)), Goten drives the tractor over a cliff. Whoops. Really should have given him that book so he could see where he was driving. well alright but still. prevention >> cure He scolds Goten for not driving properly (CMON MAN), because how's he supposed to train if he can't count on his 7ish year old son to do his work for him?? Goten asks if that's what he was doing, training, and Goku explains that you never know when (soon?) someone as (or more?) powerful than Majin Buu will show up and try to kill everyone/destroy the planet/do something else nasty (oh please oh please make it be soon). So he's training to prepare for that. He tosses the tractor back onto the field (treat your tractor better!!!) He wants to go to Kaiou's place for training, but Chichi won't let him, because I guess money is an issue now. I suppose it has to be, because it exists and they have a house and two kids and probably like electricity bills and stuff to pay, but it's kind of a weird feeling after it literally never being a thing ever before this. I mean, it's been a thing, but very rarely a motivating factor for most people. can mr. satan really be said to "have a job"? somehow i doubt Speak of the devil and Mr. Satan appears in a very fancy flying car and not his usual outfit. He's wearing a suit with... something? on the lapels or maybe the shoulders. Apparently looking for Goku? Aaaand then abrupt scene change! What'd Mr. Satan want? Fuck you, you don't get to know, because now it's CAT TIME. goblin cat goblin cat goblin cat goblin cat!!! Goblin Cat has a cool look going on and a humanoid aspect that I like. Goblin Cat's ears are absolutely gigantic, which is as it should be. One of them is pierced. Goblin Cat also appears to be male, at least inasmuch as he's not wearing a shirt, and that generally doesn't happen with the female characters in DB unless we're thinking waaay back to DB-no-modifier. But then again, this is an anthropomorphic cat with a semi-Egyptian look going on, so maybe that's a bad criterion to go on. In any case: goblin cat. I love. He's got a friend with him, someone quite tall and with very tall hair (to match his tall ears?) and an absurd outfit. Goblin Cat is being served some rather unappetizing-looking food by several insectoid aliens and also his name is Beerus, which I guess is okay, but Goblin Cat is still very good and I'm sad that his name was revealed so quickly so I only had the opportunity to refer to him as such for like two paragraphs. The food's been prepared specially for him, and in this case that seems to mean that there's poison in it. He eats some sort of rather... crunchy-looking pudding (don't ask) and reveals that he knows that he's just been poisoned (to no effect, obviously). why would you offer a cat vegetables. cats. obligate carnivores?? and is this supposed to make me think of vegeta because guess what, i'm thinking of vegeta (when am i not thinking about vegeta) He turns down the soup because cat no vegetables, and also he's decided: this planet? He's gonna destroy it. And he does, in very short order. He drops a little sparkly thing from one of his fingers and boom, planet fucking destroyed. He and his friend are unharmed. buff cat More importantly, he remembered something: a dream he had. About "him". Who's him? Fuck you, that's who, because it's time for ABRUPT SCENE CHANGE TAKE TWO. Remember Mr. Satan? Well, he came here to give Goku a metric fuck-ton of money. One hundred million zenny/zeni/zenni/whatever the fuck it is, I haven't talked it about for so long, I've forgotten. Mr. Satan was awarded the World Peace Prize, for saving the Earth, round 2, but I guess his conscience got the better of him, because he thinks that Goku should have the money. Goku turns it down, like a dumbass who doesn't understand that this would mean he could go fucking train at Kaiou's place, because it's a scary amount of money. Well, until Goten's like "Dad. Dude. Just take it." And so he does, after Mr. Satan makes him promise not to tell anyone. Oh, well, back to Beerus&co. This "him" is an "ultimate warrior" who would be able to keep even Beerus entertained. Apparently Beerus is some hot shit? don't do this to me But Beerus isn't 100% sure about that. Maybe it was something else. His friend, with the very tall hair and the floating shoulder-ring, suggests that they go home and try to remember at their leisure. Beerus agrees with very droopy ears. Meanwhile... aw dude do you have a name yet?? can i stop calling you shin/kibito please????
Sorry stuff has been kind of off the chain for the past few days so I keep starting and failing to read ch 2, but in the meantime here's something that made me laugh a lot while standing in line at security
Ch 2 okay no longer jet lagged all to hell and back! (Goku's Defeat) Man we are just not moving away from those kinds of chapter titles, huh. On the other hand, maybe I'm too picky about it. I guess I prefer straightforward titles to some of the shit the official English translation got up to re: making chapter titles that made my soul try to escape its physical ties from sheer embarrassment. Honestly I'm surprised it hasn't managed it yet, some of the stuff that DB has made me say is just Too Much. (I only have myself to blame, no one forced me into doing this.) A strange creature that looks a bit like a slime crossed with an eel tells Beerus that he'll surely come face-to-face with the super saiyan god (should I be capitalizing that? Ugh, I don't want to). tall hair is whys (or whis, whatever, it's fine, transliterating names is hard) and the eel-slime is an (the?) oracle fish. in a juice pitcher? floating fishbowl? sidenote: i continue to love any and all extremely large ears regardless of who they're on So turns out I probably should have been thinking of Vegeta, but not the specific one that I was thinking of. Whys reminds Beerus that the planet of the same name is long gone, with all of the saiyans that lived on it, thanks to a certain planet-destroying real estate agent Frieza. hey wait what? what?? excuse me manga are you retconning why planet vegeta was destroyed? is that what you are doing right now, in front of my very eyes? Whys peers into the (crystal?) ball on the end of his fancy staff thing and tells Beerus that there are a couple of saiyans left on a planet called Earth. (Apparently Beerus asked some "dinosaur guy with the nasty attitude" to destroy it, which as far as I know has not happened. Is this in reference to something I should know about???) Anyway, usually the Earth does have a handful of saiyans running around on it and doing stuff like destroying nice rock formations, but right now one of them is off in a completely different place: Son Goku, the saiyan who in fact defeated previously-mentioned Frieza, is hanging out on the northern kaiou's planet. Of course he is. Beerus is startled to hear that someone defeated Frieza (although I do feel we're leaving out just a little bit if we ignore the fact that he did come back later and get re-defeated by future Trunks, but ehhhh, whatever), and my question is: what is up with these incredibly powerful beings and not being aware of what's going on. Like I guess they're just powerful, not omniscient, but you'd think that if he'd had dealings with Frieza he might have had some idea. * throws hands up * In any case, he's intrigued by this news, and so they set off to go visit. Goku is running around Kaiou's planet dragging a large cube tied to his waist behind him. Seems like that might ruin the turf, but oh well. He gets distracted because Kaiou's freaking out, but not because Goku's ruining his lawn with training (and also he's still got the halo, so he's still not been brought back), but because he's gotten wind of Beerus' intended visit. Beerus, what the heck's a Beerus? The most powerful god of destruction in the universe, that's what! (Aha. Which just begs the question, are all gods of destruction cats? Please please please please please. Please. And fluffy ones too. Just a super long-haired fluffy god of destruction cat deity.) And of course, hearing that this Beerus is the strongest in the universe, Goku wants to try fighting him. Kaiou tries to tell him that that's a very very very bad idea, but sorry kaiou things are not going your way today Kaiou attempts to jump in and prevent this ("he's an idiot who doesn't know what he's saying", etc.), but of course Beerus is here specifically to see this Son Goku (and see if there's any relation to this "super saiyan god" dream figure), so. Nice try, no dice for Kaiou. Goku immediately goes super saiyan; he is absolutely 100% down for this. Well, when is he not ready to throw down at a moment's notice? Anyway, Beerus tells him to attack with the full extent of his power, which is certainly not regular super saiyan, but Goku heads into battle in that form anyway. Beerus easily dodges all of his attacks. an example of that and also look at his satisfied goblin cat face. so cute. heck While doing this, he asks Whys: what's with blondie over here? He thought all saiyans had dark hair. Whys tells him the thinks it's because he changed into a super saiyan, something that "saiyans have been using recently". Yeah, they certainly have been. Every single one of them. Seeing that regular super saiyan's doing no good, Goku switches to super saiyan 2. At least this time, Beerus isn't just dodging, but actually blocking. It's still basically nothing to him, though, although he acknowledges that now he knows how Goku managed to defeat Frieza. (Ouch, damning with faint praise on all sides there.) Goku doesn't waste much time in 2 before going straight on to the dreaded 3, that of the large hair and no eyebrows. Beerus is maybe a little more interested in this form than the other two (don't get too excited about it, Beerus, it'll just run out at the worst time.) Kaiou and Bubbles the monkey hightail out of the immediate vicinity of the fight at this point. The kaioushin have noticed that something is up, and the narrator explains that this is because the only ones who are able to sense godly presences are other gods. Speaking of, and maybe in partial answer to my question of earlier... another one! but not fluffy. another goblin cat. his ears are also very large but i had to crop them out because i like having clean panels (which is why i hate it when i want a panel that has diagonal borders). anyway there definitely seems to be some conservation of fashion going on here, and are the people with the staves/unlikely clothing kind of the god of destruction equivalent to, like, kibito? also these two seem like they're Up To Something Super saiyan 3 is still roughly doing about the same as version 1 and 2, i.e., nothing. Goku's upset, not because he's not doing any damage (well, I guess that could be a factor too), but because if Beerus just keeps dodging and blocking and never attacking, he'll never know what Beerus' true strength is. Not fair! man lookit them claws Beerus flicks Goku right in the forehead and he goes tumbling, in the charming phrasing of my dad, ass over teakettle. Beerus seems to be having a little bit of fun by this point, and tells Goku to get on with it already - transform into the super saiyan god form. Become Beerus' ultimate opponent. just met and you're already breaking his heart goku Yep, that's it, Goku affirms. Nothing left beyond this. Have you seen the hair? How could there possibly be something beyond 3? He wouldn't be able to move with how big the hair would get. C'mon, Beerus, see sense. Anyway, this is a bit of a surprise and a disappointment for Beerus, who had gotten his hopes up seeing the series of transformations. Having learned he's not going to find his super saiyan god here, he teleports behind Goku and hits him in the back of the neck, knocking him out cold. Time to head on to Earth, check out the other saiyans there, maybe do a little sightseeing. Off they go. The other cat destruction god and his companion are still Up To Something, and have still not been noticed. heads up vegeta and assorted half-saiyan kids: a smirking cat-god's out on the prowl for you guys
He's a cat. Are we expecting him to be thorough, or are we expecting him to knock the dinosaurs that he can reach off the counter and go back to sleep?
Ch 3 is beerus named after... beer (Beerus' Wrath) Not... super into this translation, if I'm being honest. I think there's a lot of "punching up" of the dialogue that I don't think is really warranted. I get that translation is hard! I get that localization is hard and that people are not doing this professionally and that I am benefiting from their unpaid work! But it makes me uncomfortable when characters use "fuck" that I don't think would use "fuck". Sigh! Maybe Goku wasn't actually out cold, or maybe he just came around quickly. Kaiou asks if he's okay; no, but Goku's more concerned about what Beerus is going to do on Earth, where he's headed, and where Bulma is having a birthday party. Wonder what time of year Bulma's birthday is? I'm gonna guess she's a Taurus. I could very easily look it up, but I don't want to be disappointed. ... Changed my mind, I did look it up, I'm completely wrong, she's a Leo like me! So I guess that's not too much of a disappointment. Summer girls unite! Bulma's party is on a very large boat, and Beerus very rudely crashes it. He starts (?) off by attacking Boo and Gohan, and admonishes them for giving him a "rude introduction". heyyyyyyy gotenks! were you already running around fused just for fun or did you fuse in response to this new threat? i'm curious about the timeline here, how long has beerus been hanging around, crashing this party? like fusion doesn't take super long, but you do have to get into position, match ki levels, do the whole dance process... it's not instantaneous. ((god i love gotenks' dumb hair)) "All"?! That's "all" they did?! Beerus is quick to protest. He's never had pudding before (except that weird stuff from the first chapter, but shhhhh)! He wanted to eat it! Gotenks tells him its not like they had a choice, Boo ate it all, so unless Beerus wanted to have the baby bird experience.... Anyway, Gotenks has had just about enough of this anthropomorphic cat with the big ears and the vaguely Egyptian outfit. He goes super saiyan 3 and attacks. Beerus grabs him by the wrist and says he needs to be punished. Punishment in this case means a series of slaps on the wrist and a toss into the ocean. son boy!! (and piccolo, of course) Piccolo is ready to face Beerus, but is stopped by vegeta. hey vegeta!! Vegeta tells Piccolo that fighting him is pointless, and is recognized by Beerus, who says it's been far too long since he's seen "little prince Vegeta", a phrase that makes me die a little bit inside. There's a bit of a flashback to Vegeta's previous experience with Beerus. so uh about that "hair never changing" thing, vegeta In the flashback, Beerus is menacing King Vegeta over something and making vague threats to destroy the Planet Vegeta, all in front of the young and be-fringed Prince Vegeta. That's too many Vegetas and boy howdy do I think that the original one should have found a way to at least name either the kid or the planet something else. But I digress. well... at least three people have dared, actually, one of them being your kid And speaking of opposition... There's someone else who dares. ((Sorry about the delay, I actually got really depressed halfway through because of the translation and had to take a little break. Might try to... get it through the library or something? I don't know, I don't even know if there's an official English translation or not, but man, if this continues, I dunno.)) Anyway, Bulma slaps Beerus for disrupting her birthday party, which she'd been looking forward to. Also Bulma and I have managed to gravitate towards "having the same hairstyle" yet again, which is kind of fun; I enjoy a nice short haircut on my female leads. bulma i love you but this is potentially a Real Bad Sitch you are plunging everyone into, and i don't think vegeta would ever recover if something fatal happened to you speaking of Beerus retaliates with what is probably the most mild and underpowered backhanded swat he can manage as a God of Destruction, which is apparently what he is, at least according to Prof. Vegeta over there (been a grip since he's made an appearance). This doesn't seem to do that much damage, although obviously being hit in the face generally isn't a great experience, but in any case Bulma seems okay, if a little bruised. Vegeta, however, doesn't take this very well (I mean, like I said, he'd never recover) and gets pretty fucking pissed in a very vocal and showy way. please excuse the ridiculous size of the cap but vegeta being so obviously protective of his wife brings my dumb heart joy and the diagonal panel divisions on this page just made it hell to crop nicely (plus chichi supporting bulma? also very good) Having gone explosively super saiyan, Vegeta attacks, and at first it seems he'll fare no better than Goku or Gotenks (apropos of Gotenks, his component parts have been rescued from the ocean by Tien, who's made a rare appearance): Beerus evades Vegeta and counters with a fist to the face. This should have been the finishing move, or at least Beerus seems to think it is, because he's startled when Vegeta doesn't just collapse in a heap, but instead retaliates. it's the Power of Love This knocks Beerus off the ship itself. Vegeta follows and does an impressive job of beating on Beerus for a while before firing a particularly large beam attack while standing on the seafloor (having cleared the water with the force of his attacks, natch). Well, at least it seems impressive from the outside, but someone's not feeling too impressed. wow i am tired of diagonal panels The flash from Vegeta's attack is visible from space (!). No sign of what's become of Beerus. If that had happened to one of the kaioushin I'd be a bit worried about them, but Gods of Destruction -- or at least Beerus -- seem to be made of a different grade of material. Speaking of the kaioushin, they're still keeping tabs on what's happening with Beerus, using a crystal ball. I wonder if it's the same one that the elder kaioushin (who Kibitoshin calls "Great Ancestor") made during the fight with Boo? In any case, they see Beerus go from fighting Goku at Kaiou's place to fighting Vegeta on Earth. Kibitoshin's concerned with the possibility of the Earth being destroyed again, but his ancestor is perplexed by a strange happening: Beerus is definitely on Earth, but he sensed another planet just vanishing somewhere else out in the void. He steals the crystal ball away from Kibitoshin to check it out and overhears the other cat destructogod talking with his companion about some particularly large "wish orbs" that they're searching for.
(continued) The two kaioushin confer with each other: wish orbs? He means dragon balls, right? And that gets them busted. see this is where eavesdropping gets you They have a minor moment of panic because "Champa-sama" has noticed them, and roughly five seconds later the god himself arrives on their planet. seven is a good number for a universe, i highly approve Champa, as this particular kittygod seems to be called (if Kibitoshin and his ancestor are to be believed), demands to know how much of the conversation the kaioushin overheard. "conversation, what conversation? i don't even know what a conversation is, haha!" sidenote: i miss shin's original form but this one isn't too bad either. it's grown on me. wish he could get a haircut though and go back to his mohawk And that's that! Champa accepts that they haven't heard anything and he and his long-haired friend take off at high speeds. Kibitoshin breathes a sigh of relief once they're gone, but his ancestor is worried about those "giant wish orbs" they were talking about and comes to the conclusion that they must be after the ones on Namek, which, of course, are much larger than those of Earth, apparently the only two places in all the (this) universe where dragon balls exist. Off they go to do... something about that. Maybe just warn the Namekians? Back on Earth, Beerus is disappointed: he's encountered all of the saiyans that the universe has to offer and none of them are this "super saiyan god" ultimate rival that he was hoping for. Naturally that means that he might as well just blow up the Earth and call it a day. Vegeta has come over all pessimistic, as is his wont when faced with things he can't easily defeat with punches and there's no Goku around to get him in a more positive frame of mind (... "positive" might not be the correct term here, but you know what? that's alright), but that's easily fixed by Goku making a sudden appearance. Pop! when you're done stopping beerus from laying waste to an innocent planet maybe you could give vegeta a pep talk
Yes, Beerus is named for alcohol, along with fat kitty Champagne and elf man Whiskey. Spoiler: Weird facts from earlier version of the story Beerus was originally conceived as a lizard dude who infected the Saiyans with evil, and that's why they're aggressive (and Beerus was supposed to be a pun on 'virus') Toei presented this concept to Akira Toriyama, who went 'actually his name is Beer now and I redrew him to look like my cat. Oops my pen slipped I changed the story' And Toei shrugged and went with it because that's how Dragon Ball works, I guess.
Ch 4 booze cat gods.... (Battle of Gods) Not quite time to destroy the planet just yet. Goku has a good idea! very confused at the concept of goku having a good idea (what a cute doofy vegeta) And of course, the good idea involves dragons -- specifically Shenlong, who Goku summons (with Bulma's help, who apparently just had the dragon balls... all gathered up already? I guess that if you're worried about people doing bad things with wishes it's probably easiest to just round em up and hold onto them) to ask what the heck this "super saiyan god" thing might be. And Shenlong knows! Which surprises me, but okay, magic dragon. According to said magic dragon, the SSG is a temporary godly (!) state that a saiyan can reach when six "purely righteous" saiyans get together. That's a lot of saiyans! For a moment everyone's all disappointed because there are only five that they know about (and three are only partial, but that seems not to matter all that much, which brings up some weird species issue questions), but GRATS ON THE KID (altho... if we're to accept the end of DBZ as info on what happens in the future, then this timeline makes no sense? because this can't be more than, what, a year after the whole boo fiasco? less? and pan was very small at the end of z, and gohan/videl weren't shown to have any other kids). whatever! the son family sure does reproduce quickly And with that, there are six saiyans of varying levels of pure righteousness. I guess everyone surpasses the threshold of righteousness for this because, lo and behold, within the course of a single page, they've managed to transform Goku (the default choice?) into a god, which doesn't involve all that much of a physical change except a conversion to red hair/red eyes and ki that's not apparent to... mortals? Non-deities is probably better, because the whole god thing is apparently a temporary state. Piccolo gets a compliment on how much he knows about stuff and Vegeta is disgusted by the whole process. you could just... not anyway. people on earth went to all this trouble to make your prophetic dream come true! you wanted to meet this super saiyan god! like the least you could do is not. there are so many planets you could destroy instead. mercury, for example. or kaiou's tiny planet (not that i want him to lose his home, but, y'know, better than destroying somewhere on the order of several billion people, or whatever the pop of db!earth is) Goku attacks. Beerus catches his punch and asks him what it's like to be a deity. Surprising, apparently! Beerus admits that he's a little surprised himself and then flings Goku off the ship, which would be a good thing (don't sink the boat!) except that they relocate to a city, where there are even more innocent bystanders and infrastructure available for collateral damage. C'mon, guys! Goku seems to be holding his own and continuing to surprise Beerus. They trade blows until they nearly run into a building, at which point they split momentarily. Beerus returns to the fight with a headbutt. Headbutts are only second in popularity to the ever-present, ever-favored double axe handle. bonk! The headbutt is so powerful it changes the scenery from city to wasteland (which, admittedly, seem pretty plentiful on DB!Earth and always convenient to wherever people are), which is a much better setting for a big fight, especially now that Goku's starting to get a better hang of his fun spicy new godpowers. Which seem to be similar to regular powers, just more so. uuuuhhhh okay there. picking up some habits from vegeta? this seems more his speed than yours OUCH NO THE DELICATE HAND BONES The ripple from this impact is strong enough that it's easily sensed even on the kaioushin planet, which makes me wonder how the Earth managed to survive such a shockwave. Poor geologists/seismologists/earth scientists on DB!Earth, they much always be contending with the bonkers aftereffects of these ridiculous fights and what they do to natural processes. D'you think beam attacks cause holes in the ozone layer? Kibitoshin appears with what apparently are the last of the dragon balls from Namek (new version) and the elder kaioushin tells him to take them back, they weren't what Champa was after. Sorry, Kibitoshin. I feel kind of bad for you because you're a bit of a pushover and the ancestor is obviously very comfortable just kind of usurping your place despite the fact he should be peacefully dead. Get out of here, old man! Let Kibitoshin do his darn job, whatever the hell that actually is! I literally have no idea except that he doesn't want the universe to be destroyed, which, yeah, makes sense, he lives there. oh okay Goku falls behind a bit, breathing hard (well yeah, the air is much less dense up there, you are not getting enough O2). Beerus seems somewhat disappointed, but not surprised, and not for long. is beerus fuzzy? i want him to be very slightly fuzzy. was he... was he ever a kitten whoops fell asleep for a little while there and reality is now shifted just a couple of degrees clockwise and i have no idea what's happening Oh right, Beerus was about to destroy the Earth and I was musing about his fuzziness or lack thereof and potential kittenhood. He makes the little destructoball he's holding into a much, much larger destructoball and throws it at both the planet and Goku, who's in its path. Goku does not move. He hears the power of the super saiyan god telling him that he can be stronger, which, okay, I don't doubt that, but are you really listening to an external thing or just your own internal dialogue? In any case, he fires up a godly kamehameha, dispersing Beerus' destructoball and startling him badly. Whis, who's been monitoring all this from the boat (and probably eating the whole time, he was deeply into the takoyaki in some of the background shots), finally leaves to go see what's happening in person, which makes me think this might be the end of the battle for right now. Whis says it looks like it's undecided, but Beerus is basically unharmed and Goku's gone back to non-god black-haired form, so if Beerus wanted to decide it I have a pretty good idea what the decision would be. However, this last stunt of Goku's has gotten Beerus' attention and interest, and he decides the Earth can stay for now. And then it's time for Beerus' Infodump (In Space)! Short version: there are 12 universes (!!), this one is the seventh, and he's the god of destruction for this one. Which, presumably, must mean that Champa is the GoD for a different universe, unless there's multiple per. Please let them all be cats for the love of god. Also, he tells Goku that Whis is not only his attendant but his teacher as well, and is stronger than he is. Fancy! Goku laughs, kind of ruefully. Maybe just tiredly. Being a god seems like it's a bit of a drain on the ol' energy, and also there's that pesky low concentration of oxygen to contend with. Beerus and Whis take off. Meanwhile, Kibitoshin used the Namekian dragon balls to get separated!! Good for them. Probably happier that way, and now Shin has his fun hair back and life is good. Out somewhere in the universe, people wearing some very familiar armor (!!) have found what apparently is an extremely large dragon ball ("ridiculously big"... and here I thought the Namekian ones were large) and try to report them to HQ, but get blown up by Champa before they can do much of anything. Back on one of the countless Planet Freezas, a koala-looking dude is frustrated by the loss of yet more soldiers, to which I say "You guys? Still around? Jesus H. Christ, it's been years, holy shit." Especially since apparently they're interested in, yepppp, you fucking guessed it, bringing back the big ((small)) man himself, despite the fact that he's been dead for a lot of years. Man, this is what I have to wake up to? I would have just stayed asleep had I known. Please God I can't take more of the feet.
I have been sick and busy, but i drew just. So many Beeruses. Spoiler: Probably large dunno why this guy turned out sideways
Ch 5 I'm still sick and busy but nothing can keep me from my love for too long (Beerus and Champa) Well, that's not entirely true. Last night Yakuza Kiwami 2 (Yakuza 2 Kiwami?) kept me from my appointed duties. That and the fact that I fell asleep at 10:30, which is around when I sometimes get started on reading. Big ups to being sick for that one. it's been like a week I have no idea what I'm doing can you tell Sidenote: Vegeta continues to have a nice butt on the title cover art (although i doubt anything will rival that statue's) So apparently we're on Beerus' home planet, which may or may not be a really weird shape for a planet, namely an inverted pyramid (well, guess that fits with his pseudo-Egyptian theme) that has what must be a fucking huge tree growing on/through it. I can't quite tell if this is actually being referred to as a planet or if it's just an improbable floating structure that exists on/around another, larger, more spherical planet. There seem to be clouds underneath it, which may indicate the latter option, or may just be aesthetic spacedust or something. Anyway, the planet/non-planet-floating-pyramid-tree-planter isn't really the focus here: the real heat is that Goku and Vegeta are also here, and actually having a bit of a fight. Not a usual occurrence based on what we've previous seen! business as usual then Both back off a little bit and land on what appear to be stumps arising out of the clouds, so maybe now I'm really leaning more towards "pyramid thing is a floating structure maybe kind of similar to the Lookout, hovering magically somewhere above the surface of a planet (with a lot of big trees?)". Anyway. ... Okay, now I'm distracted by the big trees, and thinking about how kaioushin (and the rest of them?) come from fruit (!) and I'm wondering where the heck those trees are. Did Beerus come from a fruit too, or was he... perhaps... brewed? oh my god.... do gods of destruction come from fermented god-fruits? oh please oh please i want that to be the case i want it so bad Uhhh wow managed to really get lost in a tangent there. Generally I would rate Vegeta's "stronger than you" comment as somewhere between completely untrue and bald-faced unwarranted superiority, but he does seem to be holding his own quite well. Admittedly I doubt that Goku is going all-out, but hey, what the heck, maybe there's some merit to it. dunno why they have squiggles on them... It Is A Mystery fuckin sick moves bro!! (also: boots... are kind of a weird look on goku, but probably good for general foot safety and kickin' things) Having vaulted over Vegeta, Goku attempts to kick him in the back of the head, but Vegeta grabs his leg before he can land his blow and flings him away with a declaration that he, Vegeta, is going to be the one to defeat Beerus first, there's no way he's going to let Goku continue to surpass him, etc., etc. He charges after Goku, who resorts to teleportation and avoids his every hit. Vegeta, understandably, is Pretty Fucking Pissed about this. They also have an audience: Whis. a) mr vegeta; b) like what exactly are you saying? what does that mean. goddamn manga bullshit just tell me what you think is going on in his head in a normal way Goku does some fucking kawarimi no jutsu bullshit with a bit of tree he picked up from somewhere (well, he has run into a ninja before so I guess I'll accept it BUT! I Don't Like It) and it looks like he's got Vegeta in a pretty tight spot. Vegeta responds by turning something; Whis comments on his blue hair, which, okay! How many possible colors is that now? Four? Four possible colors of hair. That's so many. And neither of these two dumb idiots will ever appreciate the amazing gift they have for the ability to change their hair coloration on a whim. * rant * huh. now that he's all blue-haired, whatever that corresponds to, you can see that his suit has some unusual detailing. updated battlesuit, version 3.0. why the seam across the butt tho Goku gets slammed into the "ground" on the floating upside-down pyramid and then pops up a second later to complain at Vegeta. okay okay okay okay thanks manga all i ask is that you don't do this to me and then there you go! doing it to me! Well apparently things have changed since last we heard about stuff re: godhood and saiyans, because here's Vegeta being all godly (and blue-haired) on a whim like it's no big thing, and about five seconds later so is Goku. you change your mind so much about shit man (see: "i'm never going to fight again" "kakarot is the best" "i only care about being strong") They'd absolutely spend a few minutes just talking shit at each other, but Goku bites his tongue while trying to say "super saiyan god super saiyan" (henceforth abbreviated SSGSS) and reverts to normal to ask Vegeta if they can't do something about the name, because it's too hard to say. Certainly too long to type, fuck that shit. Whis steps in with a somewhat angry suggestion ("super saiyan blue", courtesy of the blue hair) and a reprimand: they weren't supposed to transform, because this was a training session and they promised to follow his orders. pffffft haha "i only did it because he did it first!" OH HEY! Apparently the Frieza threat from last chapter? Already taken care of, no sweat. (Is this... I'm not missing a chapter or five, right?) Also, this Frieza was "golden", so, have fun imagining that (or just watch the anime I guess). As punishment for being cocky and not following orders, Whis puts them into some extraordinarily heavy outfits that resemble spacesuits and shortly thereafter they get into another fight. Jesus, dudes, give it a rest. Thanks to the suits, they are incredibly ineffectual, and that's pretty funny. oh also champa and friend showed up (what booze is she named after?) and also get to witness the spectacle a) i just had dinner but now i really want cup noodles; b) you two
(continued) Champa demands Beerus' presence and Whis takes off to get him, which is probably a bad plan, leaving them alone with the saiyans. Specifically Goku, although Vegeta certainly can be insensitive and make bad decisions with the best of 'em. But Goku's really the star of the show this time. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Champa gets re-introduced as Beerus' twin (!!!) and the God of Destruction for the next universe over (6, which is a much less enjoyable number for a universe than 7). Goku wonders whether Beerus or Champa is stronger, and Champa's companion (whose name is Vados and I'm sure there's a reference there that I'm not getting and am also too lazy to look up) makes some snide remarks about her charge (because he's rather chubby, haha, it's just hilarious. Haha.) She also makes some claims about her own strength in relation to Whis' (stronger) and that they're siblings (so many of those lately). vegeta i know that you are smarter than that Whis returns with a sleepy Beerus and Champa declares that he's here for a showdown. A food showdown! Champa brings out some grungy-looking boiled eggs roughly the size of a large russet potato, and Beerus presents several more cup noodles (fuck I still want cup noodles). ... ... ... cute champa continues to be cute Eggs get eaten, and then Beerus tells Champa to try the unassuming, humble cup of noodles. Champa does and then scarfs them down, although tries to claim at the end they were "just okay". Upon hearing the treat was from a planet called Earth, he instructs Vados to locate their version of the planet, in Universe 6 (cue a slight derail to talk about How Universes Work: the ones with numbers that add up to 13 are like twins, which may explain the abundance of siblings). Unfortunately, in U6, there aren't any humans left on Earth. "hey man i've already apologized for that" Champa, annoyed, suggests a match, and Goku is excited by the prospect of getting to watch the kitty gods duke it out for the right to the universe with Earth+humans in it, but Champa has something else in mind, and that is, of course, my main nemesis: a fucking tournament between fighters chosen from universes 6 and 7. Cool! Goku, unsurprisingly, is fucking stoked. * high pitched eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *
Ch 6 sorry for jumping back and forth between translations, I can't find Viz versions for every chapter :/ (Preparing for the Tournament/whatever other translation the title might have) This chapter starts off in the past, in a fight between Beerus and Champa (inb4 this becomes an allegorical story about the struggle between classes, as represented by the proletariat beer vs. the high-brow champagne). Beerus seems to have done something to upset Champa, maybe on his turf, in Universe 6? Champa tosses some homing charges at Beerus, who descends to a convenient nearby planet to fend them off. The charges are followed in short order by Champa himself, and Beerus has to act quickly to avoid his attack, which destroys the planet. Bye, planet. Several more planets are destroyed in a similar manner. So. What's this fight actually about? hmm. hmmmm. don't call it that. when is your birthday (oh! and i just noticed champa has a circle instead of a diamond) i've decided i'm going to blame you for anything that goes wrong from here on out Things escalate from just a fight about who got to eat the fruit (or whatever it actually is, I don't trust this translation as far as I can throw it) to whose universe has the best Planet Sweets, which is just a little on the nose, but whatever. Both kittygods get so het up that they decide the only reasonable response to the situation is to attack each other all-out, with no regard for what might happen to existence around them. Thankfully for the denizens of the universe, there are their two attendants to step in and make them see sense. ah... they have to be tall so they can easily reach backs of necks.... actually kibito is a tall drink of water too, do all godly attendants have to be tall? is it part of the job description? must be this tall to ride keep deities in check And so, Whis finishes explaining to Vegeta, they've been fighting about food ever since (whose universe has the best, etc.). Which is probably a good thing, because food is much less likely to annihilate a plane of existence, and if they can keep their squabbles limited to that arena, that's great for people who like to live. (Didn't work out too hot for those insectile people from the first chapter, though....) Although at this moment, I guess Champa wants to fight with something besides food, and to transfer the Earth from U7 to U6. Beerus is skeptical that that's a possible thing that can happen, but Champa has the solution: some super mysterious, super powerful orbs that can grant any wish! Oh, and if Beerus' team wins the tournament, he'll hand over the six of those orbs that he's gathered over the last few decades. There's a brief aside where it's revealed that people in U7 already know about dragon balls. Namekian ones? Yep. DOESN'T FUCKING EXPLAIN KAMI UNLESS HE CAME OVER WITH A HANDFUL OF DRAGON BALLS AND wow that was certainly a thing I just typed now wasn't it but THERE WAS NO INDICATION OF THAT AT ALL!!! WHAT THE FUCK! wow and here i was marveling at the namekian ones like a complete fool. a sucker. a total rube Beerus isn't convinced. Just getting six of these things is basically useless, right? Goku, seeing the chance to fight just the most powerful people from another universe potentially evaporating, frantically steps in with the offer to let Beerus use the dragon radar to locate the final one (good fucking luck). Beerus is like "Okay fine let's do the thing" and there we go, tournament organized. There are the usual rules plus some additional ones, like no illegal drug usage, and Vegeta suggests that contestants have to be able to write coherent sentences in order to participate (i.e., pass an easy written test). Champa takes off, confident that he'll win the tournament and the tasty food planet. Just look at how slow two of Beerus' picks are! Once he's gone, Vegeta and Goku ditch the suits and there's some discussion about who the other three contestants for U7 will be. Goku thinks that Boo and Piccolo (!) would be good choices. that's my sweet boy Beerus tells them not to worry about the final contestant, because he's got that one decided already: the strongest person he's faced. This makes Goku excited and Vegeta annoyed (and the annoyance is just heightened by Goku's reaction). Beerus shoos them off back to Earth with a warning to absolutely do their best in the tournament (with an implied "... or else [something bad]". love the capsule corp jumpsuit bulma look... also the short haired look.... Unfortunately, and as I predicted, they aren't picking anything up. Bulma thinks it's their location (out in the boonies of the universe), and that they might have a better chance of locating something if they were more centrally located. Having not much idea how to do that, she calls her older sister (!!!!!!!) who also has an awesome short-haired look going on. She seems to have a nice place on a small island, and has some manga and potentially sciencey books out on her table. Anyway, Bulma asks Sis (whose name I don't know but hmmmmmmm I'm going to make a stab in the "underthings-of-some-variety-inspired" direction) to contact (?) someone, who shows up 50 minutes later and is an alien. (That I think is maybe from another series of Toriyama's, although I'm not 100%. This would explain why he doesn't get a name, if they expect people to be familiar already.) awwwwwww bulma you got changed. i'm so sad Alien stops to reconsider his previous statement; there might be someone who knows, by the name of Zunou-sama, who has info about just so many things. Bulma demands to be taken there and Alien agrees, although begrudgingly. Vegeta warns him not to try anything funn with Bulma, which is sweet if a bit possessive. When Alien laughs in a "why the hell would I try anything with her" kind of way, Bulma whaps him in the head, which is probably not the right way to handle the situation, but oh well. They depart with a wave and a "BRB!" from Bulma. Goku says they both ended up with "strong-willed" wives, which, okay, fair. Vegeta agrees and says he doesn't hate it, and Goku's like "Yeah, that's what's great about Chichi too!", and everything is very cute. Vegeta says only a strong-willed woman can handle someone with saiyan blood, and personally I think it might take a lot more patience to put up with their shit than being stubborn or forthright or whatever, I'll accept it. Piccolo has a revelation. i love the implication that piccolo has been thinking about this for god knows how long. spending time trying to figure it out and not able to make heads or tails of it Meanwhile, Champa and Vados are seeing to making the arena and deciding who they're going to rope in from U6 to fight.
Bulma's sister is Tights, and the alien dude is Jaco, the Galactic Patrolman Spoiler: Quick Jaco summary About ten years before Dragon Ball, Jaco crash landed on Earth, running into Tights in the process. They have some wacky adventures together, five year old Bulma fixes his spaceship, and he goes home. Bonus! Jaco originally went to Earth because there was a Saiyan arriving and he was supposed to kill it because a Saiyan invasion is the kind of thing you have to nip in the bud. Spoiler Jaco has lunch with Grandpa Gohan, misses Goku's landing entirely, and by the time he leaves, has either forgotten or dismissed the entire reason he landed in the first place. Spoiler Jaco is bad at his job.
