Buy myself a house with a large garden and enough space that I could have a designated art studio not overlapping in any way with where I eat, sleep or use the computer. In the UK. Take lots of business administration and finance classes and then buy myself a well-located, charming store to sell my stuff. Hire an all-trans staff. Buy my bro a house or apartment in a place of his choosing and give him a good trust fund. Give both my mom and my dad pension funds capable of paying for 50 years' worth of good nursing homes for them; watch my dad squander all that money, refuse to give him more, be accused of selfishness, end up cutting off ties (I'm absolutely certain this is how it would go). And this sounds super fucking naïve, but... buy ALL the art supplies. All the fabrics and markers and top quality artist's paints and Arches watercolor paper I want. Give some money to reputable charities. As for investments: trust fund. Yeah it's boring and earnings are super small but it's safe and come on, the monthly earning over, say, half a million dollars [you'll note that I'm considering all of the above to be pretty huge expenses; they probably wouldn't be that much] is certainly more money than I currently earn working 40 hours a week.
I would probably fall over dead, ngl. XD Barring that, I would find some way to keep it a secret. People can be assholes to others out of entitlement when they know they have that kind of money. @~@ Also figure out as much legal stuff as possible, so I don't shoot myself in the foot. Then, I would anonymously donate to anyone I knew who I could send donations to, enough to cover them but not make them suspicious or worried or something. Repeat at nonsuspicious intervals. Then, start "gambling" aka telling people I've won like, $100-$1000 at a time and no really it's okay, let me get your rent this month, let me pay that medical bill for you, I'm just going to spend it on something stupid. Fine, fine, it's a loan if it makes you feel better, just take it so you can eat for now! That still wouldn't make a fucking dent in $1.3 billion, so I would set up scholarships for people to go to college, donate to science foundations, and probably some other charities. I would see if I could set up an interest bearing account and donate all the interest, too. Perpetual donation! As for me? Comfiest quality mattress, shoes, clothes, that kind of thing. Comfy high quality things that I can enjoy and appreciate on a day to day basis! And maybe hire a personal chef to make healthy food for me a few days a week, because I like to eat well and while I enjoy cooking, I am also lazy. So, basically, things to make my body be comfortable and work well! Okay, wait, I should probably put something stupid here to balance it out. Uhmm. EMBROIDERY MACHINE. I could pay to have things embroidered but I have always wanted one of the stupid things. I just do. XD OH, OH, COSPLAY AND CRAFT SUPPLIES! There. XD
ngl, the first thing I would do is buy parts of the fanciest computer rig I could build, with a transparent case and the most blinkenlights as I could fit in, and top it off with a ludicrously huge monitor. Then I'd do all the sensible stuff, but first thing would definitely be the ostentatious computer.
I would definitely want to invest a safety net; something stable and secure with a guaranteed return so even if I spent the rest of it on perpetual motion machines I would never have to work again. Maybe do the same thing for other people in my life. I'd quit my job, natch. I'd pay off my parents' house, my best friend's house and a condo in downtown in Austin. I'd probably hand out a lot to family, because at a BILLION DOLLARS just saying yes might get to be easier than dealing with saying no. I'm not related to that many people. And then the charities... trying to figure out the best/most moral way to spend the money is terrifying to me, so maybe I'd put it in the hands of my best friend who loves big challenges and philosophical conundra and let him live the dream.
Yeah, I guess I would donate and patronize a lot? I was thinking about what I would spend the money on for myself and it's just...an incomprehensibly huge number, all the stuff I wish I could afford seems small. I'd pay off my student loan, set aside money for the studying I want to do later, have SO MANY singing lessons, buy some good quality clothes, a gaming computer that can play DA:I and ME4... AHA I'd buy a flat in London. My sister needs a building to start a community/charity project, I'd buy something for that, and donate enough to start it up. I'd pay my parents' mortgage and costs of fixing their damn falling-down house. I'd learn to drive. I want to say I'd buy property and security for my sisters but...I feel like that would be really complicated? Sibling relationships :I I'd do it if they'd accept it, anyway. I like this idea. I could say I learned how in my Statistics II module. Wix, have you been to Brighton? I think you might like Brighton.
I was just thinking, where in the UK could you quickly and easily find enough trans people to hire for your shop? Ah yes. (Also it is a nice city with a beach.)
* Book a plane ticket to my home town and set up an appointment with my bank person, then put a couple million into a safe and steady investment that nets me enough money so I can comfortably live off interest. * Pay off whatever needs paid off for immediate family and friends. Probably buy my oldest sister's house back. And support my slightly-older sister a bit. * Buy a nice property somewhere by the sea and build an eco-friendly house with enough space for a bajillion art projects, and enough guest rooms so I can help people get out of shitty situations * Set up a steady donation to several trustworthy charities and support projects to help people get off the streets and all the surrounding shenanigans * Set up a publishing house and create jobs and publish books. * Buy myself and the people in my social circles stuff they need/want * Fund a board game shop for my dad to run if he wants to * Take a loooong trip across the globe, learn new languages and get to know different cultures, and visit Kintsugijin * Throw money at interesting Kickstarters, Gofundmes, and Patreons At that point I might've put a dent into the first couple hundred million.
I'd probably sit down with my parents and decide what to do together, but I already know what they'd want - pay off debt and mortgages, set up trust funds for everyone in my family, buy land and build my mom a house close enough to her mom that she can visit often and stop worrying about her, send my younger siblings to college if they want to go.... For me I guess ... I want to live near my parents, but sometimes I also want my own space, so maybe I'd build a studio on the same property, but removed enough from the main house that I could have seclusion when I wanted it. I'd tell my dad that he could quit his job and just stay home and work on his novel if he wanted. I'd hire live-in staff, a cook and a housekeeper and maybe a gardener or handyman, so my mom could stop bothering chores and focus on homeschooling and her own education. Find out what my siblings want to do with their lives and make it happen. Get myself an art tutor and better art supplies/equipment. Hire someone to help me set up an art shop and get my comics into print. Travel sometimes! Stop worrying about whether I can afford to attend my best friend's wedding. And then I guess I'd start looking for people who need money, starting with people I know and locals. Figure out (or hire someone to figure out) what I could do with money to make the local community flourish and do that. Help my church fund their various ministries. Find local people who want to set up businesses or small farms or community gardens and make it happen.
My parents have been playing since it was at 800 million. I have no idea what I would even do with that kind of money short of buying a castle and housing all of my friends
Oh hey, I won. Time to buy everyone gold-plated ferraris. Except not really. No dice here either, guys.
