Screeing Like a Velociraptor Over Learning to Crochet

What it says above! I am trying to learn how to crochet. I have tried previously, but the attempts did not go well.

Someone sent me a box of yarn and some crochet hooks. (I still apparently need a large plastic sewing needle.) So far I've watched one yahoo crochet video and attempted to do a chain. (I was not successful.)

This thread will be me recording my flailing and screeing. Anyone have good directions/patterns/dead simple projects?

 

the first row after the chain is the hardest; if you're crocheting straight rows remember not to crochet in the chain/s you add to the end of the row for turning; if you're switching yarns, start the new colour at the last step of the stitch before you want the change; british and american terminology is different so remember to check which a pattern is using; find the way to hold the hook and throw the yarn that's comfortable for you rather than trying to adhere exactly to instructions (for example, most instructions tell you to throw the yarn with the hand you're not holding the hook with, but for whatever reason I find it much easier to throw the yarn with my hook hand. probably knitting damage, but it works, so it doesn't matter)

i'm no expert crocheter but i've done a bit and am happy to give what advice i can if i can, if you like. except about knitting in the round with equal rows rather than spirals. not mastered that bullshit (yet?).

 

Okay I figured out the slip knot, hook the next bit of string, make another slip knot chain. I have no idea of how to hold my goddamn hands, or the goddamn yarn so it's all a smooth motion and I don't have to fiddle with the knots. AAAAAAAA.

 

Ahahahah. i think I got the second row problem solved. Holy fuck it's a pain in the ass.

 

I have managed THREE ROWS. I still have no clue of how to maintain tension on the bit of yarn getting hooked, keep a hold of the chain/work and hold the the loops steady at the same time. I think I need at least another arm or two.

 

I should mention by "row" I mean "slowly growing cable twisting this way and that because it won'tstay flat."

 

my technique for maintaining tension: weave the yarn in and out of your fingers, so that... actually it'll be easier to explain with pictures.

weave the yarn on the hand holding the project in between your fingers, like so:


then hold the project between your thumb and all but your first finger. keep the first finger pointed straight out. then you can control the tension by either relaxing your fingers, to pull up more yarn, or pinching them together to keep it taut:



i hope that helps! (also, you don't actually need a plastic needle for crocheting, unless you're sewing two panels together or something. some people use them to weave in the ends of a project, but i find it easier to just use the crochet hook for that.)

 

I wanted a square swatch, I got a lumpy not-square with slowly decreasing number of stitches for each row. I need to review the crochet lesson I was basing the project on. That said, I have at least five rows! This is four more than I have ever managed!

 

Yeah, it's easy to miss the last stitch in a row! Just remember you might well skip over it and make a point of looking for it when you get to the end.

 

And the loops are too tight. Of course they are. Still working on a comfortable hand to hold the work in. Switched back to the right, using @hyrax suggestion for holding everything/creating the tension using pointer finger. Having "But my stitches don't look like the stitches in the yahoo video" feels. Also: "OH the last stitch on the end is a single!" *Thunderclap of realization.* What I'm going to say if anyone asks me if I crochet in public: "Loops. Lots and lots of loops."

 

Hell yeah learning! Gotta find whats comfy

 

Loops, so many loops. Then I unravel them and make more loops! I think I'm going to have trouble counting stitches. I think I might have trouble counting stitches because I AM having trouble counting stitches. I want ten stitches in a row. I end up with nine. I add another stitch and kind of round over. I still have nine. Then I have eight. The swatch howeer is looking neater and more rectangular as I go along. Except for the ends, which are a confusing mess. I would post pictures, but I don't have a camera. :/

 

More rows! I still need to figure out how to count them. And have my square shape actually be square. I think the first project will be pot holders.

 

i was going to offer to whip up a couple of rows of crochet and take a snap and delineate where the stitches are for you, and then i remembered i only brought knitting and cross stitch with me to my parents'. i go home in the new year; if you're still having trouble then would that be useful or too similar to what you've already got?

 

Useful! I will probably still be having trouble with it. >_>;

 

lmao no problem, i'll see what i can do when i get home.

 

I have something the size and general shape of a potholder. I think it needs some kind of edge or seam in hopes of evening the edges out. How do I do that thing??

 

... Loop loops at the edges of the loops?

(I’m Helping!)

(My mom just got me a little kit-book about how to make crochet kittens. Unfortunately putting it to use means I have to learn 1) a programming language, & 2) how to execute code in that programming language. My brain wishes to skip all the writey-direction stuff and go straight to the makey-stuff stuff. It started making velociraptor noises the moment we failed to decipher the pictographic instructions for making an adjustable loop.)

 

i've never seen crochet described as a programming language before lmao.
though it did literally blow my mind to realise that when i knitted or crocheted i was forming a fabric. my brain apparently didn't think of fabrics as things that I myself could manufacture

 

Yeah, the first programmers were knitters, you know!

Gotta go find that one neural-net project where the AI was trained on knitting patterns, and the results were distributed to ravelry.com. The author said it was possibly the first instance of code generated by computer to be executed by humans.

*edit* Found it!