shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

At least I'm not arguing with the representatives of the Diamond Authority yet...

...much.

 

Well, I certainly don't have anything nice to say to her, because it doesn't matter who I was or wasn't in a past life, she'd kill me just for existing anyway!

 

Focusing on it to the exclusion of all else? No.

Acknowledging it?

I'm very bad at acknowledging that stuff, but the situation Valiska and I were in forced me to acknowledge it from our first conversation onward, and we've probably made it as long as we have in part because she doesn't let me pretend I'm not an asshole sometimes and she doesn't let me pretend that I haven't been royally screwed by most of the people in the multiverse who were supposed to love me, whether or not they actually did.

 

As long as you still love me, even if someone else turns out to be? The thing that scares me the most about all of this is that I'm going to let you down eventually. I let my parents down. I let my brother down. I let Fiddleford down. I've even let Valiska down. I've let the twins down too.

Valiska's still here. Stanley is still here too, though I didn't think so for most of my life. Dipper and Mabel are still here.

But I'm afraid you're going to be so disappointed in me when you see that I'm a very mortal and fallible man. And it will break my heart if you're so disappointed you don't want to be part of my household any more. Because the Admiral came to me and said that we were taking you three in addition to the twins and once I agreed to that, you were ours. Not like all the others. We are guardians to some of the others for their own protection, but we didn't promise them what we promised you.

 

What did you promise them?

 

We promised to be parents to them, essentially; they have lusii, but our world is very different from the one they came from.

Some of the younger people we've taken in would resent it if we tried to parent them, and the cultures they come from are similar enough to our own that they can navigate things here easily. I'm not one to try and force any kind of relationship. I ask them not to do anything that would cause trouble for the rest of us and I tell them we're here if they need us, and that's as far as it goes. They can stay as long as they like, of course.

If you're under the age of nineteen on this world you must have a legal guardian, and I'm willing to be responsible for the others so that they can get educations and help and stay with us instead of going into the system with strangers who would, almost certainly, try to force them to behave like children.

But these girls fell in love with Valiska almost immediately and fell into a relationship with us where we really are effectively their parents along with their lusii, and now they think I'm a cultural hero. We promised them from the very beginning--Valiska especially--that they would never have to go back where they came from if we could prevent it, and that our home would always be theirs.

I just don't ever want to disappoint them. Sometimes it feels like that's the thing I do best, even though it's been a long time since I did anything horrible, because when I fuck up I do it for posterity.

 

I'm 22. I don't need a legal guardian. Jame says I don't have to do anything I don't want to!

 

I'm sorry, I can't believe this is you. Have you been possessed by a marshmallow demon?

 

If you're having trouble believing it's me I could always punch you again.

 

Nice try, kid. If you are going to lie it needs to be believable. Don't try to teach me to suck eggs.

 

Hy´m 200, hy count as grown op. Hyu ken schtay vit me eef hyu´d redder not fossed offer @Clover

 

Nobody is going to be my legal guardian and if anyone tries I'll leave.

 

You can't prove otherwise, right? You can only suspect. And that doesn't mean shit, old man.

 

Do you think I don't know I'm old, kid? You mouth off just like I did once, only nobody's washing your mouth out with soap for that sass. I am not trying to make you stay with my brother, I'm trying to help you be better at what you're trying to do. Someday if you are not careful, you're going to run into someone who won't think your bad lies are cute, and if you don't have a good one to tell, you will find out that there are people who can make you do things, and I don't want that to happen to you.

 

Hy herd hyu der first time keed. Ve chust might to haf to lie a leetle.

 

Nobody can make me do anything because nobody can keep me in one place! I can't be locked up!

...fine.

 

Wow, that's news to me.
Since when were you Maid of Breath?
Because otherwise...

 

She's some kind of Breath player...

 

Vot eez a breeth pleyer?

 

They're people like me!
Full of longing for freedom,
to chart our own course! (:(c