shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

DON'T FORGET THE MALADAPTIVE BULLSHIT YOU'RE PUTTING YOUR BODY THROUGH ALL ON YOUR OWN, SPLODES <>

 

Splody might be a prickly cactus, but at least she tries. And doesn't blame the shit she pulled on other people.

The people who exploded themself with her explosives don't count, for obvious reasons.

 

I've got a lot of rage, too. Do I ask to be treated differently?

 

That Guy Totally Meant To Lose His Hand When He Grabbed Me. I Just Helped. Cost Me A Horn And Shit But It Was Totally Worth It. Helping Him I Mean.

 

"But officer, when we took the knife out he started bleeding everywhere so we put it back in. I was just trying to plug the hole!" -laughing-

 

HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE.
HE RAN INTO MY KNIFE TEN TIMES.
*starts singing*

 

And here we have an example of the connection to the sea deeply encoded in any seadwellers genome. The seadweller, in this case one who not only hasn't seen an ocean in a long time, but has indeed never been to one, instantly recognizes their native environment.

 

She could be freshwater.

 

EAT MY ENTIRE ASS SOWFLAKE

THAT IS AN ENTIRELY TOO REAL THREAT TO MY INDIVIDUALITY EXCUSE ME I MUST GO HAVE A MIDLIFE CRISIS AT SIX

 

Haha oh my fucking god you're a riot.

 

I'M MOSTLY KIDDING BUT FOR REAL FRESHWATER BREATHING IS JUST THIS SHY OF THE CULLABLE KIND OF MUTATION. AND MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR BEING OUTCAST BY ALL THE BRINEBREATHING BULGEFISH.

 

Seriously? But it'd be so useful!

...anyway, you're not there anymore, so all you gotta do is get spoiled by two rich old scientists.

 

YEAH IT SOUNDS USEFUL UNTIL YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH OF THE PLANET SURFACE IS COVERED IN SALTWATER WHICH STINKS AND DEHYDRATES THE HELL OUT OF ME AND IS SUPER ROUGH ON MY GILLS.
AND BECAUSE LIKE LITERALLY EVERY OTHER MEMBER OF MY CASTE BREATHES OCEAN WASTE IT WAS ATTEND THEIR PARTIES UNTIL I'M JUST ABOUT TO PASS OUT OR BE A LONER FOREVER. I CHOSE THE FORMER FOR A FEW SWEEPS AND THEN ESTABLISHED MYSELF AS THE SUPREME RULER OF MY RIVER, OTHER FINFACES BE DAMNED.
AND THEN I MET MY SNOWFLAKE AND AFTER THAT SPLODES SO I WASN'T QUITE SO ALONE ANYMORE.

 

...damn. I had no idea.

...once my mom left me in the supermarket and didn't come back for 3 hours.

 

SOLIDARITY FISTBUMP?
THAT SOUNDS LIKE SHIT
... MY MOMS WANT TO MAKE ME TELL YOU THAT THEY'D CONSIDER ADOPTING YOU SO IF YOU WANT YOU CAN HAVE LIKE A SWARM OF JELLYFISH AS ADOPTIVE PARENTS.
AND THEY WOULDN'T LEAVE YOU AT A SUPERMARKET
THEY'D TRY TO GET YOU TO MOVE UNDERWATER FULL TIME.

 

Ah, what a dream of familial security. Sadly, I don't have gills.

So, an entire swarm of jellyfish, eh? How does that work? Are jellyfish like a lot smarter on your planet?

 

THEY MANAGE SORT OF DECENT INTELLIGENCE AS A SWARM BUT THEY'RE STILL KIND OF STUPID. IT'S THE WELL MEANING KIND OF STUPID WHERE THEY WONDER IF I'M WET ENOUGH LIKE FIVE TIMES AN HOUR AND ASK ME IF I'M EATING ENOUGH ATLEAST EVERY THREE. IT'S NICE BUT I'M GETTING A BIT OLD FOR THAT KIND OF CONSTANT HOVERING BUT THEY ARE KIND OF STUCK IN THE 'WE NEED TO HUNT FOR OUR WIGGLER BECAUSE SHE CAN'T USE HER TENDRILS AND POISON RIGHT' PHASE...

 

Sounds a bit frustrating, yeah. But not bad.

 

NAH I LOVE EM. YOU COULD PROBABLY GO FOR A SWIM IF YOU WANTED WHEN YOU COME BACK THEY LIVE IN THAT BIG TANK IN THE BLOCK NEAR THE SPARRING BLOCK.

 

I don't wanna get stung!