shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

What exactly about me do you think made the attempt fail? *frowns* 'Cause, like, I'm good at subtlety, Pap. I know subtlety. That shouldn't be the problem here.

 

Technically, i'm a synth. I was designed to look perfectly like a human. Their is a difference between robots and synths, for starters, synths are much prettier.

 

I Dont Know If Anyones Told You But I Know Humans And They Failed At That Endresult With Your Design.

 

No, just an accurate description of a pun that many people passed by happily unaware, of the sort that once seen cannot be unseen. It's from another book by one of the guards in my castle - or my author, depending on your perspective - Lord of Light.

Spoiler

It's the "fit hit the shan" pun. And now you'll never read that scene the same way again.

 

What? You're a robot?? That's amazing!

 

Yeah, some human hate us synths, but we live with it.

 

I'm not a robot, im a synth.

 

No You Giant Tin Can I Meant You Really Dont Fucking Pass For A Human, Not Even If I Squint.

 

That's because im over 200 years old, took nukes to the face, shot at, and blown up, of course i don't pass for a human. If i could repaired, that would be good. But I have to deal with diagnostic checks at the moment.

 

You Could Ask Ford Nicely I Bet He Could Help.

 

Is he good with machines? I dont want to get a virus or corrupted.

 

[SHRUG]
IT CAN'T HAVE BEEN SOMETHING WITH MY DELIVERY, BECAUSE MY DELIVERY WAS FLAWLESS. ERGO, IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING WITH YOU!
[logic]

PSHHH.
YOU'RE NOT NEARLY RECTANGULAR ENOUGH TO OUTPRETTY METTATON!
NO, THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE METALLIC LIFEFORM IN MY HEART, AND IT'S NOT YOU.

WHY WOULD A RAKE BE IN THE GRASS?
WOULDN'T YOU STORE IT IN THE GARAGE.
ON THOSE NEAT LITTLE HOOKS OR SOMETHING.

 

Eh, no, Pap, I'd dispute that. Your delivery was not flawless. I mean, come on, it sounded like you were talking about how much you wanted to sleep with your brother. *snorts* And unless you are into him that way, it wasn't a flawless delivery. A flawless delivery is one that conveys your meaning, not one that accidentally implies you wanna get your skeletal incest on.

*frowns* But... Pap. I'm not rectangular. Or made of metal, for that matter.

So, does that mean, well, that you don't think I'm as pretty as Metatton is? 'Cause I'm a non-rectangular genie, you know...

 

Who or what is a Mettaton? Also, i didnt say all synths are better looking that robot, i just mean some.

 

I THINK... YOU ARE VERY CAPABLE OF MISUNDERSTANDING ME, EVEN WHEN I SAY EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.
FOR, BEHOLD:

IN THAT QUOTE, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT WHAT MAKES FOR A PRETTY GENIE.
I'M TALKING ABOUT ROBOTS!
AND 'SYNTHS'.
WHATEVER THE DIFFERENCE IS.
BUT YOU'RE PROJECTING YOUR OWN INSECURITIES, INTO MY COMMENTS ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE.
I CAN TELL, I KNOW ALL ABOUT PROJECTION.

 

METTATON IS A VERY HANDSOME ROBOT.
I DON'T EVEN NEED TO SEE ALL THE SYNTHS THAT EXIST TO KNOW HE'S BETTER LOOKING THAN ANY OF THEM!!!
HE'S THE BIGGEST STAR IN THE UNDERGROUND, AFTER ALL.
EVERYBODY LOVES HIM!

 

But you were talking about what made some people pretty. And well, none of those qualities you mentioned were really me. Which yeah, I guess is 'cause I'm not a robot, but...

*sighs* Never mind. So what does make for a pretty genie, then?

*snorts* Yeah, yeah, everybody. *sighs* I sure wish everybody loved me.

 

YOU TELL ME! YOU'RE THE FIRST GENIE I'VE EVER MET.
(DESCRIBING YOURSELF IS AN OPTION)
(I WOULD START A DESCRIPTION OF HANDSOME SKELETONS BY OH-SO-COINCIDENTALLY DESCRIBING MYSELF)

SAME.

 

Well... I dunno about a description but... I can show you a picture.

This is Barbara Eden, dressed as Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie. Okay, she's not technically a genie, she's actually a human, but she plays one on TV and just, yeah... she's irresistible... *wistful sigh* Never actually got to do anything with her, though, if you're wondering - though one of the genies I know (and have done stuff with) bears an almost eerie physical resemblance to her,

*smiles softly* I'm glad you understand, Pap.

 

No I WOULDN'T!!