shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

... Well I always talk about sex one wayor another but that's like on the meta level of how many 'That's what she said' jokes I can put into any of my comments on a completely nonsexual topic like how absolutely unfuckable trilbie wearing dickbags are.
The meta level is our penis.
We have a quota to meet here.

 

See what i mean? I know he said it in his head, but i dont want to get included in sexual conversations. Starting with the fedaura stuff.

 

But I explained the significance of a fedora before he even came into the conversation and elaborated on it.

 

*eyebrow waggle*

 

So, are you saying that you're up for elaborating on me, if you know what I mean?

(Or has it not been long enough for it since the last time we boned?)

 

That is exactlywhat I'm saying.

We were kinda joking with that comment too.
Especially since no one here plans on doing us but you.

 

*smirks* Oh yes!

Not even Mr. WILL FUCK 4 WEAPONS?

 

How am I the bad guy for being threatened?

 

Youre Not. No One Is The Bad Guy Here.
Were All Dumbasses.

 

I can get laid by offending Pap with a house? *smirks* I like that idea.

 

* Yes we are.

 

Hey, @THE GREAT PAPYRUS, you can totally blaze my tail, if you know what I mean...

Erryday too.

 

The room I stepped into didn’t look anything like what I’d seen through the window in Morrolan’s tower. I looked back over my shoulder - of course, the window was gone. I touched the hilt of Lady Teldra and got a sense of satisfaction - this was where she’d wanted us to go. OK then. There was something else odd about the place - aside from being an apparently dimensionless white space, with people who seemed to be both there and not at the same time.

Boss, Loiosh said telepathically, you get the feeling you’re narrating your life and living it at the same time?

Yeah, that would be it.

Lady Teldra seemed a bit subdued. I directed an inquiring thought at her - oh, of course. Ever the soul of hospitality (literally, and if you’re the same listener I had before, you know why, and if not it’s a very long story), she’d subdued her affect - anybody with the psionic sensitivity of a gnat would still be aware she was a soul-eating Morganti weapon, but she wouldn’t have the same soul-crushing effect that even a sheathed Great Weapon projects.

 

[Liadan, utterly lacking psionic sensitivity, and only having the ability to sense magic when she deliberately casts a cantrip, perceives only an armed human stepping forth from thin air. She sits forward on the downed tree trunk she's claimed as a seat, and waves a hand to him.]

Well met!

 

Loiosh?
One of his jobs as my familiar is to serve as a check on my sanity. No smart remarks about how often that's needed, thanks.
Illusion, boss. I don't think she's doing it. It just... happens. I wonder...
A dead teckla appeared on the ground. Loiosh swooped down and ate it.
Tastes real enough.
Show-off.

Likewise! Interesting place you've got here. That's my familiar, Loiosh - don't mind him, he's a carrion eater with the manners to match.
Just because you can't bend this world...
I'm Vlad Taltos. There are titles that go with it, but I don't expect they mean much here.

 

(You imagine your homeworld around you -- snow, and saltwood trees, and pine trees, and a dark starry night sky, and the humming green Handmaid's Veil (=northern lights) above, and a campsite with some old logs.
You're sitting on one of the logs in your white furs and fabric, a bone-and-hide drum on your knee, and sing.)
(Your voice is coarse and deep (for someone your age), the melody is simple, but evocative and eerie.)

Of all places, the snow is the gentlest,
The cruellest, the most indifferent
When the Handmaid takes us she picks the rusts first

Burgundy and Rust and Gold and Olive
Jade and Teal and Cerulean
Cobalt and Indigo and Purple and Tyrian
The snow takes all and makes them still
The snow takes all and makes them glow
In the snow we are all the same

Gentlest land, most graced of all lands
Under the Veil of the Handmaid our last breath is cold
No matter how lost we are, we will find our way to the afterlife

Cruellest land, most beautiful land
The snow covers the earth and we cannot return
We are like firework on a canvas

Indifferent land, most old of lands
Like an old lusus, but we're not her grubs
Tell us, land of snow, who are you looking for?

Of all places, the snow is the most liminal
The most untamed, the most silent
When the Handmaid takes us, not even riches can save you

Burgundy and Rust and Gold and Olive
Jade and Teal and Cerulean
Cobalt and Indigo and Purple and Tyrian
The snow takes all and makes them still
The snow takes all and makes them glow
In the snow we are all the same

Most liminal land, land in-between all
We are born from the soil and live with the white one
And die to the Handmaid's Veil

Most untamed of lands, untouchable wilderness
What we take the snow will reclaim when we turn away
The land remembers, and its memory is white

Most silent of lands, land like the stars
Cold and distant and keeps us from returning
Only our blood, our blood seeps through the snow

When the Handmaid takes us, she takes us all

 

@eyefishSoup You have such a lovely voice, and so much talent. How did we never hear you singing before?

 

Every single letter in "pacifist" appears in "Stanford Filbrick Pines", but that doesn't make me one, so I'm not sure what your point is.

I am indeed special; sometimes people even mean that in a good way. *grins* I'm good now, maybe you'll do me a favour someday.

I thought you'd talk about sex less after you started getting some, but...it wasn't the first time I've ever been wrong.

 

*eyebrow waggle* *bursts out laughing*

Well... it's not like Deadpool or Mirrors ever discouraged me from talking about it, so... I don't really see your point. I mean, if anything, Deadpool, at least, just egged me on. Or I egged him on. Either way, it's hilarious that you expected that interacting with Deadpool would make me talk about sex less.

 

Norm, what is wrong with you? I am not hitting on Nick!

Yeah, well, I didn't think when you started getting laid that it would be with Deadpool, either. Mostly because I was previously unaware of Deadpool's existence. (Otherwise I would absolutely have expected you to have sex with Deadpool.)