shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

I SHOULD PROBABLY TELL YOU. THAT I HAVEN'T KISSED ANYONE BEFORE? IT'S LOGISTICALLY DIFFICULT. SINCE. NO LIPS?

(ALSO THE HUMAN WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU'LL SOON GET TO TELL ME YOU TOLD ME SO. THE OTHER ME IS GOING TO DIE FROM BEING TOO MERCIFUL.)

(I FEEL LIKE THAT KIND OF REMARK MIGHT KILL THE MOOD, HUMAN.)

 

Well, I was expecting that, so... yeah, sure, I'll give it try.

(Yeah, that kinda is a boner killer. But hey, it's also why you need me - so you don't die from stupid, idealistic mistakes like that. *smirks darkly*)

 

WELL. ONE OF THE TROLL GIRLS SAID THAT 'SPADE' KISSING INVOLVES TEETH? I DEFINITELY HAVE TEETH.

(I can already sense the giggling, but darn it, he's never kissed and I've never played out makeouts. It's all virginal here.)

('BONER KILLER?' UGH. WHY ARE SO MANY WORDS FOR ERECTIONS ABOUT BONES?!? HUMANS ARE WEIRD. AND SO ARE GENIES I GUESS!)

 

*laughs* Yeah, I'd definitely say you do.

(i've rped kissing before but i've never actually been kissed. and norm has kissed before, so..)

(Skeleton, I honestly have no idea. It wasn't me who invented the English language, you know... Though I am old enough to have been theoretically capable of it, I guess.)

 

{You gigglesnort.}
You two call those cute things "teeth"? Neither of you got any on mine.
{You grin, and display your teeth - which are definitely more on the canine side of omnivorous, and look quite pointy.}

 

I think ours will do just fine, thank you!

 

SNOWFLAKE YOUR DENTITION IS STILL CUTESY. THIS IS HOW TEETH LOOK.
-she grins wide, showing off two neat rows of piranha teeth-

 

Mine teeth iz schtill better.

 

I offer braces to paying customers

 

@Vendeur Masquée
...Vy do pipple keep tellink me dey need chengink? Leaf mine tusks alone!

(for those unaware: big ol pair of tusks, rest of his teeth are sharp and pointy)

 

Oh I wouldn't dream of pressuring a dear customer into paying for something they don't want. I simply meant to mention it as a part of my inventory.
It's a limited offer. Only a handful of credits really.

 

-squints at @Vendeur Masquée suspiciously- Eef mine tusks vere straighter, dey vouldn't feet een mine mouf...

 

I also offer other dental alteratios like filing down.
Really good prices.

 

-recoils violently and threatens him with his hammer- DON'T HYU DARE

(wow, i am really bad at remembering this post-as-user thing. >>)

 

I have only helped one person free of charge in my entire existence and we all immensely regretted that. Really you are quite safe from me.

 

... -keeps his hammer between his face and Zacharie just in case- Hy spent de last ov mine money on booze last night ennyvay.

 

What does ewherryone have against a good set of sharp teeth?

{You nod to the Jägers}
I have no idea what you even are, but you look awesome.

 

@eyefishSoup
-brightens- Tenk hyu! -examines- Hyu look preety goot hyuself! Hy like de pointy horns.

 

@Vendeur Masquée Keep hyu file to hyuself, or hy´ll use dem on hyu.
@eyefishSoup Ve iz Jägerkin! Vot about hyu?

 

@The Jaeger Mirrors Thank ya! Although it's kinda just... one horn. Lost the other one in a firefight.

@Cosmina Kastellan I'm an Alternian Troll! So are my moirails Loreli and Splodes, boat they're on different parts of the haemospectrum. I'm just below the cutoff for the Jadeblood caste.