shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

You know how it is, then. I've never met a human I could trust.

 

*nods* I do, yeah. It's pretty terrible, isn't it?

 

And yet everywhere I go, they're the ones in charge. It hardly seems fair.

 

I hate to break it to you, but there are lots of places where humans are not in charge, and generally, what happens is that whatever group of sapient beings attains the most power are the biggest assholes. I am very happy to live on a planet with multiple sapient species. There's more stupid intriguing, but less outright oppression. For instance, one of the largest social groups is patriarchal and the other matriarchal, so neither set of silly rules will be enacted into law. Although it's interesting that people from the other society act like idiots around my wife. She really is the head of the household and somehow they seem to think a guy as smart as me did not know what he was consenting to and does not mean it when I tell them I want them to deal with her like they're supposed to.

 

I'll believe that when I see it.

(Although I'd really like to see it.)

 

You need to get out more.

 

There are actually less than fifty humans on my planet. My wife isn't one of them, although she could pass--she's actually feline.

 

That's... interesting. That couldn't happen in my world - monsters who look like humans are still monsters.

 

TROLLS AREN'T HUMAN. WE'RE INSECTOID. AND OUR PEOPLE ARE MUCH MORE FOND OF BEING GENOCIDAL DICKBAGS TO OUR ENTIRE UNIVERSE THAN HUMANS ARE.
FOR REAL HUMANS ARE KINDA CUTESY IN HOW THEY TRY TO BE BIG BADS. THEY ARE VERY INEFFECTIVE YOU KNOW.

 

We don't try to be big bads. And it's not really fair to lump us all together. Humans are dickbags? Okay. People are dickbags. And some people are more effective dickbags than others, like your empress, and sometimes, at some points in history, some humans end up being the most effective dickbags.

Doesn't mean all humans are super effective dickbags, obviously.

 

That's what they say we'd be like if they weren't in charge, but they're the ones who make us fight when we're slaves, what do they expect us to do when we escape?

 

Shoosh. To Be Honest With Sekrit Meta Knowledge This Space Grants I Gotta Say I Agree That On Average Human Standards For "The Worst Kind Of Person" Are About Average To Alternian Soldiers In Terms Of Bodycount And Shit.
But You Have A Point.

 

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I SHOULD EXPECT YOU TO DO. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

 

Oh my god, Chroma, that is literally because we aren't intergalactic with supertech.

 

PLEASE DO NOT CEASE MAKING SWEEPING GENERALIZATIONS!

IT DOES MY HEART GOOD TO SEE OTHERS TAKING UP THE GOOD FIGHT.

 

We're felines.

I'm pretty sure we could take over the universe.

If we could be bothered.

I've come to the conclusion that while my species defends its territory aggressively and with no holds barred, the reason we don't really expand is that we can't be arsed.

You see the field in which we grow our fucks?

Yeah, we're hunters, we don't really do agriculture that much...

 

I bet you'd just loooove tumblr then.

 

HRMPH. YOU'D THINK SO. TUMBLR LOOKS JUST FULL OF RECRUITS WITH GREAT POTENTIAL! NO FEW OF THEM RALLY TOGETHER AGAINST COMMON FOES ALL THE TIME.

BUT THEY'RE NOT ALL THEY COULD BE YET! THEY'RE TOO CONTRARY! TOO ANTI-WAR! TOO QUICK TO TURN ON EACH OTHER AT THE SLIGHTEST HINT OF DISCORD.

NAH, SON, THEY NEED DISCIPLINE. THEY NEED TO FORGET ALL THOSE LITTLE DETAILS THAT DIVIDE THEM, AND FOCUS ON WHAT THEY'VE GOT IN COMMON! LIKE UNIFORMS. GREAT SHADES. A HEART FULL OF THE WILLINGNESS TO BRING SUFFERING TO THE ENEMY! BUT I HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR THEM. AS THEY JOIN THE WORKFORCE PROPER, AND SEE THE NECESSITIES OF HOW THE WORLD REALLY WORKS...

 

Plus, you give all the fucks you do have to me...

 

*maniacal laughter*

I can't believe you actually said that.