shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

Becawze dey iz hour Masters. Dey iz de Heterodynes. De mozt powerful femily een Europa! Alvays haff bin! Hexcept for dat beet recently bot ve dun tok about dat.

 

Er... that's some circular reasoning right there. They're your masters 'cause they're your masters.

 

...Yez? Dey protekt de town end feed de pipple end vin GLORY end mek all sortz ov neat schtuff like mine eye, becawze dey iz Sparks end dat iz vot Sparks duz.

 

Well, I guess that explains it better. But 'Sparks'? You mean, like from electricity or fire?

 

Naw, dey iz Sparks! Sparks mek schtuff. All kindz of schtuff! Dey mek clenks and constructs. Jagers iz constructs, teeeknikally.

 

You mean, scientists and engineers and mechanics? And you've got a special name for them and think they've got a right to rule, in Mechanicsburg?

Weird. Not how they do where I'm from.

 

-waves a hand- Naw naw naw. Ve haff doze. Sparks iz special. Normal folkz kent do de tings Sparks duz.

(...should we maybe be taking this elsewhere? xP)

 

Special, really? They sound just like scientists and engineers and mechanics to me.

 

-makes a frustrated little noise- Vell, yez, bot- dey haff de spark. Dey iz Sparks. Dey build schtuff dat iz eempossible.

 

Well, if it's impossible, how can they build it? I mean, you know the definition of impossible, right? And that if a thing can happen, it's clearly not impossible?

 

-makes a gruff huffing noise- ...Yez, bot- oh! -brightens- Hyu see dis hammer? -thrusts his massive mallet under Norm's nose- Iz not a bouncy ting, iz eet? Bot de Master! He mek a hammer dat goez bounce, end eet haz no spreeng! Iz- de metal iz bouncy, end de shape ov eet- eet meks it go BOUNCE! Hyu iz not find a normal blecksmeeth dat ken do dat! Hy know, hy vos vun vunce, before de Brau.

 

So, Sparks are special 'cause they can make hammers go bounce? *laughs* I could do that.

*snaps his fingers*

GONG!

*a bouncy hammer appears*

 

... Vot? ...Iz hyu a Spark?

 

No, I'm a genie. I've got magic. And creating bouncy hammers isn't impossible 'cause, look, I just did it - without being a Spark.

 

-pokes at it- How iz eet made?

 

Well, all I did was think about what I wanted and snap my fingers. And tada, a hammer that bounces!

I've got no idea how I can do it or what the hammer is made of. I just know that I wanted a bouncy hammer and I got one,

 

-wrinkles his nose- Sparks, dey build dese tings vit dere own hends. De Master spends soch a long time een hees forge sumtimez he forgits to eet een de Madness Plece. Hyu esk heem how hiz iz made, he tell hyu!

 

Well, what's wrong with this being easier? And with not going to the Madness Place in the process, too?

And if I knew how I did it, beyond what I just said, I'd tell you. But I don't know.

 

Vell, eez more fon to build eet! ...Alzo more hexploshuns! Hexploshuns iz fon.

 

And much more likely to get you killed than my method, you gotta admit.