shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

*looks very startled, then suddenly laughs and blinks back at Stan, and slips her arm around his waist for a brief half-hug before letting go*

Of course, Stanley?

 

Yeah, so, what I just did? People like Clover aren't gonna pick that up. It's important for you to teach us all how to react outside the house, in the presence of each of the dominant species in this dimension, but...at home, it wouldn't hurt you to learn a little bit about the monkeys you haven't had twenty-five years to train and can't reward as effectively as you can my brother.

*grins*

First of all, you and me both know that even though you think it's cute when Ford acts like he knows everything, not everybody else does. Those behaviours exist whether or not we agree on what to call 'em.

Second of all...Sunshine normally acts more like a cat than a monkey, but he's playing you monkey style now. He knows he can get a rise out of you by teasing my brother, and since he's beholden to you right now and he can't do anything about it, you present a very attractive target. You gotta ignore him when he's just being dumb. It's like he's stickin' a big feather in your face and you grab for it every time, then he laughs at you when he takes it away because you think that if you don't react he won't respect you, but he will actually respect you more if you stop falling for this trick of his.

 

He's kit-teasing me!?!?!?!?!?! I'm not a baby, I don't think that's fun!

 

Yeah...that's the idea.

The fun is for him, not you.

*pats Valiska's shoulder gingerly*

 

*growls softly*

I'd almost think he was trying to make me hate him!

 

*facepalms*

Sunshine, I am not into threesomes!

 

*whispers to Norm*

Any more, he means. Any more.

 

You know we're actually apes, not monkeys, right, Stanley?

 

*grins*

I see what you meant before by him getting all proper and socially acceptable in his old age.

 

Yeah, Poindexter, whatever.

That right there is what I'm talking about, Valiska. You are the only person who thinks that's adorable.

 

Sunshine, I want you to listen to me very carefully.

I flirt a lot, mostly because I know how to now, but only with Lise and people who know that I'm off the market. The reason I do not like your flirting is that I am never sure how well you know that.

But I am actually sincerely annoyed with you for insisting that I am not being honest about my past.

Spoiler: tw: nonconsensual billford & sunshine discussion

You know very well that all those fun times happened before I had that metal plate put into my head. You also know how many blackouts I had when we were together. So why don't you just assume that if I say I didn't do it, I either wasn't present at the party or I wasn't the one who invited myself, okay?

Because we will have a problem if you don't acknowledge that there were three people involved in our relationship, and if you must know, that is why I wouldn't take you back even if I weren't married.

You are very fortunate that I have forgiven you for some of the shit you pulled, because I know you may not have had a choice about it.

Do not make me say things in front of my wife and my brother that might get YOU killed.

 

Nah. I think we're all agreed that we aren't gonna kill him.

Unless you ask us to.

 

*does not know what the fuck to say*

*1s now wonder1ng how much of what he remembers 1s true*

*absconds (pursued by a gen1e?)*

 

...well.

Professor Stanford, I'd like to hear about your work?

 

*hesitates a bit but is then like, 'ah, why not?'*

*pursues*

 

*pulls himself together*

I'm the Chair of Interdimensional Physics at Panarcanium Polytechnic University, on Pennarion...in Dimension 52. I am also an associate professor in the Cryptozoology and Xenobiology department. You?

 

*sits in Ford's lap*

I'm a professor of Alchemy there. And I also teach martial arts...and a certain amount of witchcraft.

 

I was the Chair of Organic Biology and basically the leading researcher in the field, back on Prion. It's not a very popular field, Mechanoid Biology is much more popular, it's easier for people to wrap their heads around how their own bodies and bodies built somewhat similarily work. Additionally, Prion is on a mechanoid planet, although I think it might have been mechaformed...

Ah, that's a tangent. I worked with the Xenobiology department a lot, myself.

Interdimensional Physics, you say? I've got an Astrophysics doctorate, myself. It's mostly a hobby.

Alchemy! An honored field.

 

Oh, I loved astrophysics when I was a boy. The stars gave me hope back then! I felt so strange in my own world. I always knew I belonged somewhere else...

I don't think we actually know very much about mechanoid biology in our dimension. I know that there are silicon-based living rocks who animate themselves using projected hardened light in Dimension 888...after all, I'm friends with a few of them. But the only large robots I've ever encountered personally were built by organic sapient life forms. And most of ones I've encountered were built by my ex. None of them were actually sapient, though.

 

Oh, that sounds fascinating! But it doesn't sound mechanoid as strictly defined by the science I'm talking about. There's a common perception that life exists on a strict binary of organic and mechanoid, but it's not very true! Your friends sound like they belong strictly to neither category.