shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

Equally-prioritized bondmates might eventually split core-partner's decision, yes, but... choices must be made always, yes? Even if relationship is <ABC> and not A<B>C, question of "who is prioritized" will still arise. If A is being charged by a stannelid and C is fighting off a Swarm, how does "putting each other first" differ from "putting individual partner first"? If A and C trust each other enough to share B, regardless of the AC relationship they will be able to work together for B's sake.

But if A and C are discontent enough with each other that internal power games would happen anyways, why would a sparkbond between them change that? Even the brightest stars die.

Two data points =/= experts?
Also, Ford+Valiska =/= Norm+Papyrus+Sunshine. Different solutions will work for different people, yes? Their way is not the only way, does not have to be your way.

 

But you were just protesting how you weren't ready to get married yet! So you can take time to figure shit out and let your partners figure - *throws hands in air* *sighs* *shakes head* Stickers. I swear.

*blinkblink* Not sure how what Sunshine thinks of me is relevant, but okay.

 

you Make sense and i Like you.

i Have to Prioritize between my two moirails sometimes. it Is Made both easier and harder that they Are in different locations from each other, and Facing different dangers. but i Am doing all right so far.

 

Well, yeah, true. I just... the way Ford and Valiska are talking, it almost sounds like they think me, Pap and Sunshine are married right now or that, well... we'll end up basically married without a ceremony and won't even know it happened. That I'll end up splitting myself into two marriages without even knowing I'm doing it. That if I love them both and they don't love each other, everything will be ruined forever.

*looks down* Yeah, not gonna explain that.

 

Do not believe that was their intent? But if it was they are Wrong, I think. Love breaks things sometimes, but not like that.

 

Talassani society is matriarchal, Norm, and because I loved Valiska, I made it my business to improve her mother's opinion of me--mostly by making her see that I was just as concerned with Valiska's welfare as she was--because I didn't ever want her to feel she had to choose between me and the rest of her family.

Getheny helped a lot, too. Getheny, for reasons I'm not fully clear on, always did like me.

 

okay, i Do not Want to Step on your moirail's toes, but that Sounds like your pan Being misaligned to me.
i Would Know; mine Does that too.
so Maybe Talking to them, or Trying out this sticker idea Could Be helpful?

 

*smiles softly* Thanks.

Oh yeah. Guess I hadn't considered that.

Hmmm... yeah... I could do that. Maybe.

It's worth a try, at least.

 

Because my sister loves you and there's never been anyone else for her ever. Frankly I think Ma thought Valiska was asexual and was not particularly happy when she found out that she was wrong and that Valiska was not going to give her whole life to The Great Work (and make us all rich).

Then you made us rich.

 

Your mother didn't know much about alchemy, if she thought Lise was asexual.

I suppose it's possible to be an asexual alchemist, but I have never met one.

 

See, that's the situation I am not sure would work for a marriage.

Do trolls even get married within their own society? I can never tell if matesprit or moirail is the one most like marriage. Most marriages are sexual, so there's that, but moirails take care of each other emotionally, which is also expected of spouses.

 

(That would require Sunshine to have a certain amount of emotional sophistication that I suspect he lacks.)

 

Norm...I do think we are somewhat 'expert' in the area of marriage, because we have a very good one. But we are very different people from you, Sunshine, and Papyrus.

For one thing, we're really not poly. I think Ford could be, if he were married to someone else, but I'm not...and Ford is practically a being of pure devotion at his inmost core. He's a man who builds shrines and Empires for love; it's hard for me to imagine him splitting that up!

Anyhow...marriage is a commitment. It is meant to be a foundation for whatever you want to build together. I've known many people who had a lot of lovers, but most people only have one marriage at a time, regardless of how many people are parties to the marriage.

Does Sunshine even know Sev? I don't think so. Are you confusing thinking Sev is hot with loving him, again?

The basic unit of society for my species consists of a woman, her bondmates if she has them, her younger (or at least less dominant) sisters, and all of their children, along with whichever of their brothers prefers to live with them rather than his lovers, and whichever of their lovers prefer to live with them rather than their family. (This is one reason we differentiate between lovers and spouses; lovers remain a part of their original families.)

Ford and I have a very human marriage, in some ways, and I would have left my home for him, though we have since become the mated leaders of a pride; but he always knew that my mother and sister were deeply important to me and it would be better if we could all learn to love one another.

That isn't what I've observed. Why don't you ask him how he feels about it?

 

*very carefully doesn't look at Ford or Val1ska or Stan*

Why do you th1nk that?

The only th1ng that bothers me about hav1ng to get along w1th Papyrus 1s that he's almost never around and 1s always d1sappear1ng on us. 1 never know what he th1nks about anyth1ng because 1 can't read h1m at all.

1f he'd just st1ck around once 1n a wh1le and talk to us 1'd be a lot happ1er.

1t makes me th1nk he doesn't l1ke me, except when we're mak1ng out, wh1ch he does l1ke to watch...

and you know 1 absolutely don't encourage you to crush on Sev so 1 have no 1dea why you th1nk 1'd be happ1er 1f you were dat1ng h1m...

 

No, that's not what we think is going to happen to you.

That's what happened to us, except...we both wanted it to. We had been together for ten years before we managed to have a wedding ceremony and we had to go off-world to do it. Pennarion did not have civil marriage before the war.

Valiska belongs to a Talassani sect that has only a few hundred members, because it's really a support group for ex-Jalanenhal, and there are not a lot of those.

I am a Jew, which is a minority religion even on Earth, and when Valiska and I became a couple I knew exactly one other person on Pennarion who was from Earth, and he wasn't even from the Earth in my original home dimension. Jacob Harley is many things, but a rabbi's not one of them.

So, while I told her I wanted to be her husband on the night we became an official couple...

*shrugs*

People started calling her "Valiska Pines" less than a week after I moved in with her. I didn't know what to say because I wanted to give her my name and I didn't want her to think otherwise, but we weren't officially married. She settled the matter by deciding to answer to it.

 

I have never looked at it that way, but there certainly is a lot of sexual imagery in alchemical writing.

 

-Takes notes-

 

*frowns* What?! No! He likes you!

When I told him that you pitied me, he was thrilled. Thrilled that we love each other so much.

And he thinks we're really cute together, and knows that you're good to me.

And hey, it's only been less than a day so far, with us all that the same house. That's way too short a time, Luck, for a pattern to actually get established, really. Way too short a time for you to find out what he is really like.

*sighs* And Sev... well... about that... I reckon you'd understand him better than Pap. That you guys have more in common. That he'd confuse you less. And that one conversation you had with Sev, that went real well, I think.

And I saw what it was like with you and Pap, how different that was, how you reacted to him. That Pap confused and frustrated you, and just generally that, well... you never seem to be happy about him. Honestly, sometimes I think you'd prefer it if I'd never met him.

 

Hy donno vy efferyvun tinks romanze iz deefeecult. Hy gets on chust fine mit mine boy!

 

You know what would solve most of these relationship problems? Giving up.

Love is dead and intimacy is a lie.