shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

...'Cuna, Pellmell and Flimflam were terrible. Do we need to talk about this again?

 

I'm mute, Stentato.

 

*stands up* My name is Jame and I am a blood-binder. It has been about two and a half years since I last bound anybody. *sits down*

Oh, this isn't Blood-binders Anonymous. Oops.

Anyway, I am a Kencyr Highborn of the purest bloodline and my blood, if consumed in sufficient quantity, will bind you as my servant unto death and even beyond. We will be mentally linked and you will be compelled to obey me. You would be incapable of harming me and bound to obedience.

Smaller quantities will give a temporary effect.

I can't help it, can't change it, all I can do is warn people.

Some of us become only able to take sustenance via blood, like Randiroc, but I am not one of those.

 

You know what I mean!!!

 

I don't give those out, sweetie.

You want one of those, go ask someone who believes in that shit.

So you're a fucking killer.

Me too, sweetie.

I am an obligate carnivore, a natural predator.

My parents were assassins and they trained me to be the same.

My husband got himself mixed up with a trash demiurge who quite nearly duped him into destroying the multiverse. He did what he could to avert it, then his brother turned the damn thing on thirty years later because he missed him.

Do you know how many people died in the dimensional sheaf that happened in? No?

Neither do we. We can't count that high and they weren't all reported anyway.

My best friends are all revolutionaries, freedom fighters and god-touched warriors.

All five of the kids I'm raising have been in fights where their lives were at stake, kill or be killed. I don't want that for the two or three I've got inside me and maybe I'll be able to prevent that, I hope, but there aren't any guarantees are there?

Oh, and you are a slave and they didn't give you a choice about any of this.

You deserve to fucking live. We all deserve to fucking live. That doesn't mean I won't kill some asshole who's trying to hurt me or mine without a second thought because they knew the fucking risks when they went after me.

But there's a reason I'm making a Philosopher's Stone or gonna die trying, and it's not just because I don't fancy becoming a widow.

 

You were warned about the stairs, Megido.

 

You have to laugh. What else can you do?

 

Spoiler: suggested answer

 

God you're both dumb.

 

Name's not Megido. Don't have one unless you count "Girl" or the mess the Woman came up with.

 

Doesn't matter. Hands are still dirty. Get to pick my methods too usually. Get to pick the sadism too.

As much as it can be said I pick them. Time shit is what it is.

 

Ok, so+ I'm just no+t go+ing to+ get invo+lved in whatever the fuck is happening so+

Let's respo+nd to+ this? Yeah. Anyway my first and pro+bably primary reactio+n to+ this is just "wo+w". As in "wo+w, that's ho+rrifying". To+ clarify it's no+t yo+u that is, just what exactly it is yo+ur blo+o+d can do+. Go+d, it might even be wo+rse than what a friend o+f mine was capable o+f o+n Alternia. Ho+nestly, it's wo+rse actually since that yo+u at least had a chance o+f resisting. Technically. She go+t to+ a po+int where even exceptio+nally stro+ng willed peo+ple co+uld be fo+rced to+ o+bey fro+m acro+ss the glo+be. Even if they were a psychically resistant caste.

It is kind o+f interesting that yo+u seem to+ have rainbo+w drinkers, tho+ugh? Igno+ring what yo+ur blo+o+d do+es fo+r a mo+ment. Are they undead? That's what I am, o+r was anyway. I guess I'm dead undead no+w.

 

My seco+nd reactio+n to+ it is based o+n this in particular. The reactio+n is mo+re "Um...Wo+w". If yo+u can guess why yo+u get a prize!

 

Sorry, I have no idea at all. What would be wow about violation? I don't get it.

 

It's because she's a village two-wheeled device and lives off making fun of herself.

 

Can we no+t?

 

Crass wo+rding that I do+n't like o+ne bit aside, she actually has a po+int. She isn't getting the prize tho+ugh. Yo+u're getting it even tho+ugh yo+u're just kind o+f o+blivio+us.

 

We can not when it stops being true, kid.

 

Rainbow drinkers are blood drinkers? With your rainbow of blood colors.

Well, Randiroc drinks blood. He can also consume honey but he says it hurts his teeth so he'd rather not. He drinks from his friends or from animals, especially his horse. He also can't tolerate sunlight much at all, and a cloud of jewel-jaws, which are insects, follows him everywhere. There are stories of such as him before in our history.

 

I'm confused. None of this makes any sense. I should go climb on the roof and ignore you all.