shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

I'm terribly sorry but this is probably the funniest thing I've heard since "three laws of robotics".

 

Spoiler: ((proceed with caution))

Spoiler: ((open for content warning, spoilery))

manipulation, allusions to noncon

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Say, @crocellsApostate

You seem like a pretty reasonable but downtrodden guy, someone who nobody seems to acknowledge or respect. Someone whose identity is only met with laughter and ridicule.

What if, seadwveller to seadwveller, I told you that I know a place where you can have the respect you deserve?

It's a place where you can have what you so badly want.

A place where, were you to join, people people have to give you what you want.

Where, if they don't give it to you...

You can take it.

((i'm gonna be a little careful with this character to make sure i don't trigger anyone))

 

Get a load of this guy, Burlesque. He thinks he's hot stuff.

 

What?

 

Well, I suppose there's no point in keeping up this pointless charade when someone from my universe could show up here at any minute.

I'm talking about the Sea of Death, silly! ♪

 

im listening.

im less listening. see, that kinda sounds like something that vwouldnt vwork too vwell vwith my image. not to mention im already DEAD, so that might throwv a vwrench into things.

 

Oh. I already figured you were aligned with them.

 

Spoiler: ((proceed with caution))

Spoiler: ((open for content warning, spoilery))

manipulation, allusions to noncon

Spoiler: ((open for the actual post))

But maintaining images is a chore. Don't you just want to skip all the work and skip right to the goal?

It's what I did, and I got myself the girl of my dreams that way! ♪

Besides, the people you like will always end up falling for someone else. Especially guys like us, who get labelled as "creeps." People will always stay away from us, no matter what image we throw up around ourselves.

The only guaranteed way to get someone to be with you is to make them be with you.

 

Then I suppose you have half a brain more than every last damn idiot in the Sea Kingdom, you wouldn't believe how easy it was to fool them all!

 

It wasn't hard, with the look in your eyes when I talked about breaking the seal.

So. No more lies and no more legends, eh, Sal? It's not like I could stop you in here even if I wanted to. Want to lay all your cards on the table for a curious femme?

 

dont you think thats a LITTLE uncharitable? images are EVWERYTHING. howv do you think people vwho are complete shit in evwery vway still get any action?

and 'make' sounds kinda harsh, if you ask me. howv about strongly persuade. i like the sound of that. showvs im a man of substance vwhile still havwing a heart.

 

@Lacuna of Devisiun

Spoiler: ((proceed with caution))

Spoiler: ((open for content warning, spoilery))

heavy allusions to noncon

Spoiler: ((open for the actual post))

The Great Sorcerer just so happened to have a daughter. She was so trusting. So naïve. And she had access around every magical barrier he placed throughout the Sea Kingdom!

It was so simple really, It started when I lured her away from the Sea Kingdom and, well, had my way with her.

I then stole an important sword, erased her memories of her little encounter with me, and used my newfound position over her to blackmail my accursed brother into taking the fall for me!

Hehehe, the poor fool would do anything to protect her from me. ♪

With him out of the picture, manipulating her into unwittingly weakening the Sea Kingdom's defenses a piece of cake, and while they were vulnerable, I destroyed the seal with the sword and let my people waltz on in!

 

You sound just such a pleasant type, Sal. Remind me not to meet you without sharp objects.

 

I'm utter trash, and I got plenty this way!

And whatever term floats your boat, friend~ ;^)

 

Anyways, now that this business is over, I think now's a good time to switch back to my human form!

 

So... the only way you can get a friend is by erasing their memories? Not very impressive.

 

Thank you!

I try. ;^)

 

Also, it's not very good manipulation if it involves literal mental control. You're pathetic enough to make me laugh.

 

EVERYBODY knows the Amporas. They're fuck1n royalty. And don't they know 1t.

Ask D1pper about the one he met 1n Grav1ty Falls.

Trolls don't have 'fam1ly' like humans or Talassan1 or Cereut1 do, Norm. Th1s 1s why 1t makes me uncomfortable for you to use my old hatch name that even 1 haven't used 1n l1ke f1fteen sweeps. The second half of your hatch name 1s ass1gned to match the s1gn you're under and 1t actually 1s a pretty rel1able gu1de to personal1ty.

Amporas throw the1r power around, bel1eve they're super1or be1ngs because of the1r blood colour and overs1zed egos, and the1r most 1mportant relat1onsh1ps are always w1th the1r own egos. They man1fest these tra1ts 1n d1fferent ways, but they all man1fest them.

 

Oh, of course not! I was good friends with almost everyone in the Sea Kingdom before then.

My charming personality, I'm sure!

I erased her memories so people wouldn't find out about me. I still had a job to do, you see!