shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

You grew your kibble? I didn't realize that was a thing that happened. Aren't protoforms supposed to take shape within a cycle?

My entire job entailed caring about small squishy mortals. It's a bit of learned behavior.

 

The children come from those places, too. They're learning that they're not alone.

The only time I have ever asked my kids to leave this place was when that rapist was in here.

 

Whaaat, Mewni's great! And Marco's parents are the best! And Earth is the best!

 

What Were You A Lusus Wrangler?

 

...what the pits kinna speed-racer planet you from? Bit's comin' up on three hundred or so, an' I wasn't even done 'til... eh... a thousand? Somewhere 'round there.

 

vwhere vwas i gonna get medical care on a team of elevwen teenage rejects and me? i used a little tactic called 'avwoiding physical danger'. its pretty useful.

 

...
I never grew kibble.
I was just thawed.

 

Well yes, but that doesn't... entirely shield you from diseases. Or unfortunate accidents.

 

Wait, wait, wait, this move shows off my physical and magical and dance-ical strength!

Spoiler: Gif

 

That...

That don't make no kinna sense to me, sorry. 'f you don' feel like explainin' I get that, I can go ask Silver or somethin'.

 

so they take MY MONEY and givwe it to people i dont care about? that sounds absolutely horrible.

 

Yes. That is the upsetting part. "Hello children, what a wonderful death world you come from."

I was an ambassador, which is only different in that I got paid for wrangling the people I was meant to oversee. What is a 'lusus'?

I never grew my kibble. I was a spare in a constructed line, and disposed of when none of the other thawed mechs has defects that would have necessitated replacement.

 

That...

I still don't quite get it, but. That 'disposed of' bit sounds pits'a awful, I'm sorry :(

 

They take a small percentage of it, so losing it won't actually impact you. Like, at worst, you probably won't be able to buy yourself a third super-yacht.

 

Disposed of? You never told me this!

 

You shut your face, I'm totally done. Or I'll never be done! You don't know!

 

its the PRINCIPLE. if they actually deservwed my money, theyd vwork hard enough to get it themselvwes.

 

Oh, like you've done any work in your life.

 

If you stay six feet tall forever, you might set a universal record for 'smallest transformer'. I'm almost certain you're not done growing, however it is your kibble works.

 

Weeeeell um.
I am what is known as a "Made To Order Soldier" or MTO for short. Except um I'm not much of a solider.
So remember how my full name is Half Life of Operation: Supplement? Well I was built for the Operation I'm named after, by the Decepticons, during the Big War, which in this case was um. Me and a few other Cold Constructed Mechs - Them being mostly vehicular altmodes and me as Much Needed Bulk For The Medical Division- delivered new supplies through heavy fire back to the besieged OPs-base. It was pretty awful all told! And... they didn't all make it.
But um yeah. They built my frame, with the altmode they needed, and then they stuffed a frozen spark in there and let it thaw. And then they uploaded a bunch of stuff into my processor so I'd know what's up and what's down and who would shoot at me and what my job was and then they sent me off!