shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

*sighs* Please don't get him started on Spiderman... Seriously...

 

I've seen worse damage. What happened to you — boiling oil in a siege?

 

Awww that's cute honey but it only hurts a little like I'm burning and I can assure you you can't heal that! Cuz I'm kinda magic and healing too, yeah? my skin just heals... a little too much. It means too well, you know?

Lady I'm not sure if you've ever seen me but I'm wearing a mask. That's what the whole super hero deal is about right? I mean I'm more super than I am a hero strictly speaking but you know how it is apples, pears, semantics...

Are you sure you don't want to hook up? Your snark is really really attractive.

I've never been Spidey in that scene before! I'm more the shy blushing Emm-Jay carefully nipping Spiderman's lips in the pouring summer rain~

Too late motherfucker

That's sweet but I can lie better than that.

It's called "trying to fix cancer with a mutated healing factor" and it doesn't end well.

 

Dude, one'a my crewmates likes wanderin' around with his internals on display, I ain't gonna get spooked by a few squishier'n-normal spots. Long's it ain't contagious 'tween our species an' contact ain't a dealbreaker for ya I don't give a smelted slug.

 

Do I look like a fish to you, that you could catch me with fishnet?

Well, you're still young and you can be whatever you want to be. Don't let prior lack of experience stop you.

 

Nah man this is specifically-tailored-for-the-pool-no-cooties-health-problem, and you can play with em as much as you wanna.

Well if my drag mama ever taught me anythign then it's that you sure are fishy babe

-gets down on a knee-
will you be my emmjay as soon as I can get some rain organized in here?

 

I can do rain!

 

Daww, I can see where this is going. That was such a nice scene.

 

Cool bolts ;) Enjoy your fishy friend!

 

*She waves her staff and murmurs something, and a rain cloud forms over Deadpool*

 

...I walked right into that one, didn't I.
Or I would have, but you had to go and get down on one knee. That's not how the scene went.

 

Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker, I have no authority over you! It's called advice, you idiot, and if you insist on ignoring it, that's on your head, not mine. But I implore you, before you do this stupid thing, please go back and read everything the talking gun has told us about the way it works and the effects its contracts have on the idiots who agree to them. You're basically agreeing to let that fucker lay its eggs in you.

 

If you don't mind my saying so, that's a8solutely fascin8ing. We've yet to find out the specifics 8ehind Porrim's own transform8ion, save that it seems to 8e something 8iological. Likely something specific to her caste. The lack of warmth sounds more than a tad off-putting, admittedly. I'm not sure how I would manage with a constant coolness like that. Porrim meanwhile is quite warm. Like a heating 8lanket almost!

 

That is not quite correct. I'll be laying eggs in other people. Something else entirely happens if a host fires upon themselves.

 

I'm also+ amazingly bright if I cho+o+se to+ be. Which I usually do+n't because it's ho+nestly a bo+ther. Imagine trying to+ sleep with me when I'm just glo+wing away like so+me kind o+f sapient lamp.

 

*facepalms*

Fucking idiot. It didn't even offer you the secrets of the multiverse, or promise to be your muse, and the fine print was all laid out right in a place where you could easily access it, you knuckleheaded numbskull.

 

Let's be disappo+inted to+gether.

 

Right. Didn't backread enough. Even so, that kid is a fucking idiot.

 

Well, then should I be in an emergency I know who among the trolls to hug. In general those of the warmer blood colors are warmer, it seems?

I also only need to breathe occasionally, and can do without for a day or so, so lying underwater in hot springs is my perfect vacation. For once I'm warm enough! I should move to the tropics.

 

Disappointment 2x combo it is!