shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

:D

...what's Primus?

 

Overrated bolt of glitches is what he is.

 

That's just the name of a guy. Some people use his name to curse a little because they think he's important. Just a weird figure of speech back on good old cybertron, kiddo.

 

* Why would I keep it a secret?
* Wait, don't answer, let me guess.
* Self-preservation...
* And the ability to protect the ones I love, right?

* Well, you're not wrong.
* So I'm guessing you're like...
* Counter-intelligence?
* All that spy stuff... Observation, and intervention, to prevent worse things?

 

ABSOLUTELY. I'm the best counter-intel-agent the Autobots have. I PRACTICALLY head the department. It's A LOT of responsibility, but LUCKILY it is all in very handsome, very capable hands.

 

So that's why I haven't heard about you. Very Havelock Vetinari, I'm impressed.

 

You know it, Babe.

 

Ooh, Mr. Spymaster, ooh.
Please imagine me waggling my optical ridges, here.

 

I DO imagine it and the mental image is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
*mock swoons*
Sweet Lady Apostasia if you ever need someone who hears things whether he wants to or not, I work below minimum wage.

 

Oh cool! Thanks! :D Is Cybertron the habcluster Scanner's from?

 

Sorta. Never actually been there. There was a message to return but Frag do I not care about that kinda slag. Got myself a nice lil shitty job on a station and all. WhatEVER gets me the energon to survive, right?

 

Now now, I'm fairly certain you can still pass under he bridge, no need to sell yourself short.

If they want us back they gotta drag us, right?

 

Ah, even if I do end up a little tall, I am VERY flexible my dear. It will NOT be a problem.

Well I sure did basically flip my commander off and yell I QUIT when the message of the end of the war came through. I don't GOT anything on Cybertron I don't CARE. I've never even BEEN there.

 

(Apostasia laughs, and laughs. It's not a nice laugh. It's harsh, and cruel.)
There's nothing there, just people and rubble. My home city is gone, and the only thing I regret is that I didn't get to see it fall in person.

Hah. Told me I'd die in the gutters. Who's dead now, Tetrahex?

 

Riiiiiiight. Not that you'd be the craziest boss I ever had BUT i think I'm gonna back away slowly now, babe.

 

(Apostasia's face quivers, and, in a complete mood whiplash, settles in a quite saccharine smile. Her voice is back to the more subdued-but-amused melody from before)
Oh dear, did that slip out loud? Please don't mind lil' old me, I got a bit astringent in my old cycles. Bad memories, and such, you understand, yes?

 

'Stasia stop harrassin' the protoforms, I haven't been harrassed by you in cycles I feel all neglected an' slag.

 

It's hilarious that you think that, as I am actually being truthful in my account. Anyone of my former partners could vouch for me...well, they could were they still around. >_>

They have all been exeunted, or have exeunted themselves.

Every time someone who is not a firearm is slain, I can taste the sweet nectar of justice and revenge. It helps that there are over thousands of different sentient species in the rift.

 

RIGHT, I wasn't trying to STEAL her, you two have your weird old people 'face display over there where I DON'T gotta see it.

 

Please imagine me raising one optic ridge here --

(Apostasia laughs again, but this time it's genuine amusement. In between, she manages to get out the following.)
Well, people have been describing me as a handful--