shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

"Ja, bot most humanz do. Kent speek for odder schpeecees. Us vot don´t iz rather few und eet makes life hard for os sumtimez.

"Hyu eediots do schtupid tings ennyvey, ve don´t need to encourage hyu."

 

Verry kind ov hyu, sveethot.

 

That's true, I got a whole week of sleep in between crises recently. I retract my statement about you.

I don't treat anything but life-threatening injuries without informed consent, much less involve anyone in experiments without it. I also don't do the kind of experiments that involve sentient test subjects, most of the time. I work on things like... improving the efficiency of the nantes that carry out self-repair, and, looking to the future, things like, say, birth control.

 

Klenks need dot? How does dot vork den. Well ecktuelly better giff me der tok about der birds und der veasels, how do hyu reproduce?

 

Wait like... you would actually ask. Even an MTO. What feel goodsie earth show did you fall out of? Buddy I don't know if anyone told you yet but this isn't Steven Universe.

 

Shocking, I know, but consent continues to be a thing a lot of people give a shit about.

 

Nope, buddy I am still waiting for the punchline.

 

...you have that problem, too?

Is it common? What else do you struggle with?

 

Hyu know eef hyu told me which sorreh hexcuse ov a medic deed NOT giff dot sheet, hy could get into dere virez und haf sum fon. -she grins, all teeth on display- Don´t know moch klentvork but breakink iz easier den fixink.

 

There's enough punch for everyone here.
(Oneira's expression and voice is deadpan.)
Might need to see how to mix one up that ain't poisonous for your species.

 

Oh, boy. Keeping in mind that I'm choosing to answer this from quite a while in the future of the time line I normally speak from, several ways. They all involve the essential self, the spark. From what I understand, our sparks are somewhat equivalent to the organic concept of a soul and somewhat functionally related to the heart organ. The way that used to be the most common was hot spots - places where sparks would rise from the ground to be gathered along with the sentio metallico around them, and would then grow into their frames. On Cybertron and most of the colonies, this process took a few days to a week for the spark to grow to full maturity. I'm given to understand that things are very different on Licentus, but I'm unfamiliar with the process there. @Silverburst would know much more. Then there were bots who were constructed cold - Nova Prime came up with a method to use the Matrix to create sparks and place them in constructed frames. Then there's a strange little quirk - some bots, myself included, have an impulse to protect younger bots. This relates to an old form of reproduction, which I'm given to understand is similar to that found in organic mammals. There's an old string of code in mechs that can be activated, and was in our population by a virus. When given the energy from an overload and the presence of foreign code, sparks can now be triggered to split from the parent spark and gestate within the frame, using core metals to create its own frame, until either surgery or a process rather like organic birth occurs. The resulting sparkling, because of the size constriction by gestation, takes much longer to mature than the sparks from everywhere but Licentus - two or three centuries.

I was part of the team that found a string of code that would suppress the reproduction protocols. Even if bodily autonomy and the ability and willingness of a bot to care for a sparkling weren't issues, which they certainly are, we simply don't have the resources to care for more sparklings than the first population boom created.

Yes. I ask. And I listen to the answer. I do it because I wish someone had done it for me, a long time ago. No threats, no privileges that just "happen" to disappear when you say no, no manipulation. Full information and consent required. And that's the policy on this ship, and I will personally deal with anyone who says otherwise. Or Captain Nichrome will. She seems to be considered the scarier one, these days. Why people don't realize that a medical education means that I can take you apart just as well as I can put you back together, I don't know.

 

"Hm. Iz not verry common, only a few humanz haf eet. Ve do tend to get along mit eech odder more den mit most humanz und stick together. Which is vy most ov mine eemeediate peck iz like me.

Hy had der problem mit all der eenput beink too moch effen as a human. Ecktually eet vos vorse beck den becawze hy deedn´t know how to deel mit eet et all.
For jägerkin, all our senses iz sharper den humanz zo ve know veys to mek tings more comfortable. -she points to her goggles- Und hy haf a hard time reedink humans hexpreshuns schtill. Jägerkin iz easier cawze hy ken look et der earz und tails eef dey haf dem. Ve chust understend eech odder more. Also pipple mek less mit der tokking around tings und hexpectink hyu to know vot een der fock dey meen ven dey deedn´t sey eet. Und eef hy is relly confused hy esk mine mentor. She vos der vun who hexplained schtoff like dot vot earz meen to me beck ven hy was turned.

 

Oh. You're like me.

-She seems at a loss for words.-

 

Eenterestink. Ve use tee for keepink from havink keedz. -brief pause- Oh, hyu vouldn´t know vot tee iz. een general iz der liquid hyu get from enny plant vot eez steeped een hot vater zo der vater teks on der taste. Vun speceefik plant keeps hyu from getting pregnant or itchy een certain places.

 

I do indeed, though I think I'll hold off on the explanation unless someone here is actually curious.

...I am curious to see how quickly a part-Licentan would mature, given the third method of reproduction and most other transformers' growth rates, but that doesn't seem like a very ethical experiment.

 

-pats the nearest bit of Iridium- Iz not a bad ting. Hyu ken find sunvere hyu fit, hy deed.

 

-Mina laughs- Dey keep forgettink dot don´t dey? Ov cawze, earth medicz haf to svear to do no harm, bot hy neffer deed. -evil grin-

 

I...

I had somewhere I fit. With Backdraft, and Honeybee, and Record, and the others.

But then they all died, and I wasn't there to... to die with them.

 

Frankly, I suspect we'll find out sooner or later. If nothing else, it wouldn't surprise me if Congessi wanted to make a sparkling with Jetski or Refractor.

 

what

no

We don't have the resources for that, that's not a viable idea even if I had my processor screwed in properly.