shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

You know, there is nothing I detest as much as beings who live idle existences. My partner is utterly repulsive for this reason. It is no surprise at all to me that Karma caught up with him.

Spoiler: middens spoilers

My previous partner was a man who wandered into the rift from a world that no longer existed. As he originated from outside of the rift, a contract was required for him to fully reap the benefits of my abilities. It was a mutually beneficial relationship for the two of us. He would wander the rift, with I as the resident tour guide, and in exchange he would allow me to procreate. It was a wonderful and glorious bloodbath, the best relationship I've ever had. We had shot so many people, he and I. Of course, once the rift had been cleansed, his duties to me were over, and so he too needed to be recycled himself.

So I killed him. He put up one hell of a fight once I got into his head. This Time Nomad actually managed to beat me, and won A Second Chance. The fool now aimlessly travels the rift, playing his acoustic guitar. A completely useless detriment to society.

At this point, I don't know if I'm madly in love with the poor sinner or I hate him with every fiber of my being.

But in the end, it doesn't matter too much. >_<

I am fueled with the blood of the lazy. As Karma's Executioner, I have slain more than any other Genie combined. I must-will never fall to such a pitiful existence, for my duties are ceaseless.

With Karma as my friend, my lover, I can survive death itself.


And so to my current partner, A thousand pardons, but I find myself fed up with the uncertainty of your status. A million sorrys, but I am now done enabling your pointless existence. A billion apologies, but Karma has passed judgement, and it has decided that it was time for you to die. A trillion condolences, but this is the end of our contract. A quadrillion commiserations, but the credits have already rolled, and you still don't get to the see them.

*From inside the grave, a click is heard, followed by a loud bang, and then silence*

((edit: added a spoiler warning just in case anyone else here actually cares about middens))

 

((i wish to the gods that i had a character who would respond to this post with "that's not how karma works" because i am a memeing fuck))

 

((@Aondeug genie is quite antagonistic to buddhism's ideals, which is probably intentional given the heavy buddhist themes in middens))

 

(The sunbeam, meanwhile has moved on. The Judge stands up, does a classic cat-stretch with all of his teeth on full display, and pads towards the sunbeam again. About halfways there, he reconsiders, and looks around instead)
Now, where might a feline such as yours truly find a entity who would be rightfully forthcoming with headscritchings?

 

((it's less because of ideals and more because of metaphysics that i want to make the joke. BUT I DONT HAVE ANYONE WHO WOULD SO. OH WELL.))

 

I've had another dream again. Unfortunate. I would have avoided sleeping, but I've since learned that there's little point in that. I can run but the dreams will find me, regardless. Whether it's because I passed out from exhaustion or because what I could have seen had I slept has quite literally hit me in the face.

It appears I'll need to be leaving the halls soon. Not sure as to when, however. I will have to watch and wait and guard my face from that awful Caineron woman. She has been hounding me ever since I showed up. Only to get all the worse when it came out that I was the Highlord's consort. Bother her.

 

((i just realized a really weird thought

Spoiler: middens spoilers

when in game you use the specific ability to kill yourself, the gunshot doesn't actually kill genie's partner and seems to instead send them into a combination of the rift and their own mind

the way this would translate to homestuck would probably end up with cronus waking up in a surrealist cronus-themed dream bubble a giant-sized genie revolver with arms and legs waiting for him somewhere inside of it))

 

How fortunate then for dreams to travel
And step into this temporary respite
To build a plan, to flee or fight
Before the threads start to unravel?

 

I'd rather not travel. As much as I dislike having to play the part of my sister I have grown fond of this place. Or at the very least accustomed to it. It was peaceful here too, compartively. There was even a distinct lack of horses.

 

If only one of you might walk that place
One of you must, by necessity, leave
Is your goal to win, or to deceive?
And be the one who keeps their face?

 

I don't want to win or to deceive, though I seem to be stuck doing the latter whatever I wish. I simply want to be allowed to be myself in peace for a time.

 

I am fairly sure that karma isn't supposed to work that way.

You must be using it as a proper name, which would make more sense; I have seen little evidence of any sort of multiversal force of justice. All the justice I have ever seen has been the work of sapient beings in opposition to the inherent mercilessness of the laws of nature.

 

((I tried, but he had to editorialise.))

 

The Rift I am from is in a constant state of undulation and expansion, its rules and properties ever changing. Karma, the will of causality, is the one constant

I am it who enforces its will. Karma's justicar. Its bedfellow.

 

Okay. That clearly has nothing to do with justice. True justice is merciful.

 

Hello, little cousin.

 

You may swoon as much as you like, dearest. Someone will always be there to catch you.

 

Don't frag the concept of karmic retribution or I'll have to kinkshame.

 

Why. :(

 

Because I'm a bitter bitter mech and no one can have fun if I don't get to have fun :)