shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

ye

 

Eat them then. Just fragging do it. Just fragging eat them.

 

Eet vho?

 

...well this is disorienting.

 

Whoever you want.

Aw is it? I don't mean to be disorienting!
Oops kidding, I live to be a fabulous disorienting bot.

 

What.

 

Hey good looking! Not as good looking as me of course, but you still are pretty fragging good looking.

 

Oh, sweet, sweet boy. You have no idea what he was like when he was much younger. Probably long before you were even born. You're even younger than the kitten, and he was fifteen when she was born.

There was a time, you know, when he wasn't quite so full of love for the multiverse and all that is in it. There was a time when he was full of rage because hardly anyone recognised how brilliant he is--all they cared about was that he was a freak who didn't know how to communicate with them, and that he was all pasty and soft, and a pervert on top of it all.

I really thought he'd learn to see how much better he could be than the rest of you meatsacks. I wanted to liberate him from the needs of the flesh and make him one of my own. But, like the rest of you, he's far too invested in his silly reproductive cycle and the emotional bonds that come with it. I thought he wanted truth and understanding, but he wanted to be loved, and not just for his mind, apparently.

He is my biggest disappointment. So much potential there. I would have uplifted him. He would have had what you and the kitten both want for him, because on some level you both understand how old he really is, with all the travelling he's done outside the normal flow of time, and how young you both are--immortality. I would have clothed and crowned him in galaxies if he had only let me liberate the multiverse.

He was supposed to die--to the flesh--on the Fear-Amid, but the two of you saved him. So now I suppose he's all yours. You have fun with that, kid. My cast-off would-be consort is free of the bonds he made with me. And has been since I called the end of time. I was a fool to do that, but I really did want him to choose what I wanted to give him.

 

How terribly kind of you, I'm sure.

 

...consider yourself successful, then. [They repeatedly open and close their mismatched claw-hand, trying (and failing) not to stare.]

 

-leers- Vell hy vould eet hyu bot hyu don´t fit in mine mouth.

 

The kindest, no, the best.
Anyway wanna frag?

You too I can do this we can do this.
Let's do this.

I'd make a joke here but it would be 'bad' I think.
Spike jokes are bad right? I forget these things.

 

No. Please be hyperactive at least thirty feet away from me at all times. It's exhausting.

 

Do what? Name or no you're a complete stranger.

 

I'm not hyperactive I'm excited.
So many possibilities! So many things to destroy! Isn't that great? I think that's great.
Also so many new friends to make, people that can actually respect me and love me. How great is that?

Anyway why not. You're pretty, I'm pretty, let's make a pretty pile of limbs.

 

Frag.
Name's Requiem, now I'm not a stranger.

 

... Let's not eat people unless we have to? There's helath risks...

 

...no. I'm not interested in interfacing with anyone I'm not seriously courting, and--

Your name might make things worse, stranger. On my end, anyway.

 

-laughs- Hy gotz a spike to poke hyu eef hyu like dot! -arches her scorpion tail up, showing the spike at the end-

 

Oh please, anyone who doesn't bother filtering anything they siphon deserves whatever they catch.