shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

I'M JUST AS GLAD THAT THEY COULDN'T. CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE BONER JOKES MY CLASSMATES WOULD HAVE MADE?

 

Too bad.

-She snaps her finger and turns Bill into a colorful goldfish, catching him in a tank and setting it down before turning back to Ford.-

So! I like dirty plays!

 

holy crap why did everything get so loud can we not

 

*collapses into hysterical laughter*

It is so, so, SO good to be me today.

You have no idea.

Oh G-d.

This is hilarious.

Give me a minute.

I promise I'll answer your question.

I just can't.

As Mabel would say, I cannot even begin to can.

 

Hmmm, hmmmmmmmm...

Okay! I'll be quieter. Show me a fun thing!

 

Hy agree. -has both hands over her hears-

 

...yeah, gods do that sometimes.

*frowns in the direction of the deific temper tantrums, uses one hand to open a portal*

If they get loud again, anyone's welcome to come hang out at my cottage. We specifically built it far away from the cities in the celestial plane to avoid most drama.

 

Only two of them, and they were both having sex with ME! As well as each other.

 

Also, stopping gods from shaking planar realities like a snowglobe is really not in my job description. At all.

 

Hey, Papyrus ; )

Do you think you can fix the gravity? ; )

Your blue magic has always been pretty strong ; )

 

You also like fish?

 

[Bit shifts into something with far too many mouths, eyes, and tentacles.]

Spoiler: body horror

Fuⁿ enougH?
[While none of their mouths are moving, the voice still seems to emanate from... somewhere. Bit shifts back to something vaguely humanoid, but retains extra eyes on the sides of their head.]

Dude I can talk in colors now, cool!!

 

Okay! Aristophanes and Menander--that's where you go for the dirtiest jokes. Aristophanes wrote an entire play about how a city full of women stopped a war by refusing to fuck their husbands. That's "Lysistrata". In "The Frogs" he has the god Dionysus crap his pants after being scared by a security guard in Hell who thinks he stole his puppy. Of course the entire basis for "The Frogs" is that there's a chorus of farting frogs running around all over Athens. Menander's writings involved chasing after prostitutes, and once trying to seduce one by burning her house down--I think that's where Bill must be getting his dating tips--and Terence also liked depicting the Roman elites as constantly chasing after prostitutes.

 

DON'T YOU FLOAT???

 

Very fun! Want to fight?

SHOW ME THE-

Show me the plays!

 

Yeah, but floating at an angle to the ground like this is making me feel pretty uneasy and nauseous ; )

 

My wife likes fish even more than I do. They're her favourite food, but I wouldn't advise her to eat that one.

I'm laughing because you told him to grovel to me and I'm the quote-unquote cast-off to whom he referred. He's the worst ex ever.

*produces dreamscape-copies of books from his library*

 

PAH! I set down the place! It should not tilt!

-She stomps the ground with a foot, causing the Rave to even out... and then tilt slightly the other way.-

Hmmm. I'LL TRY HARDER.

 

What???? No D: Fighting hurts!!

 

This is a BOOK. This isn't a PLAY. I want to see the PLAYS!