shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

n07 1n51nu471ng 4ny7h1ng 480u7 7h3 k1nd 0f p30pl3 y0u 4r3. 50, wh47 15 17?? d035n'7 50und l1k3 y0u n33d f1r3p0w3r, 7h0ugh 1 br1ng pl3n7y 70 7h3 748l3.

 

Ell em eff ay ooooooohhh, buoy! Lemme guess, you're one a them pompous seadwwellin' fucks wwith no sense a self determination! Nevver seen an ""Imperial Policy"" you didn't like, amiright? Got a big, fat wwriggly ovver )(er )(ighness?

Lemme tell you, darlin', that beach is not the one making sure the shit that's gotta happen happens. That job belongs to the seadwellin' Council A Cowwards! Maybe you didn't climb the ranks as high as moi did to sea the ugly truth. Condy-poo is the most powwerful troll in the empire, ain't gonna find me contestin' that, but she ain't nearly as influential as you think she is. It's all vviolets runnin' this showw, and the only reason you ain't in the knoww is because you ain't good enough or clevver enough to be "in."

Oh but buoy, don't let me convvince you to stay your hand at these egregious insults to )(er Majesty! You deffo can't let all this shit-talkin' just slide. It's just that if you wwant to get rid a the trolls disrespectin' )(er Ichneumous Cachaemia, you gotta start at the top wwith )(er base of power. )(er enforcers. If I told you all the shit I'vve heard, your coddamn hair would curl!! Ignore the small fry; go big or go hivve ;)

 

I'm a genie. I used to be a slave. And if I thought these people wanted to use you, well... *sighs* I wouldn't go along with that.

 

Given my experience of them, if you must assign a motive that requires something other than "validation of personhood", I'd say "the warm fuzzies of Doing A Good Deed by our moral standards, through which we can advance our proper sense of self and rub our egos while we're at it." Possibly with a side of "removing someone from slavery because we've been there."

Ironically, there are quite a few people for whom the warm moral fuzzies are worth more than material firepower or physical wealth.

 

There are things we need and we can't tell you right now what they are, but we do believe that people should be free and we will try to help you whether or not you can do them. I suspect you can and I believe you probably will, and we're not entirely without self-interest, but we're still working out the details and as much as we'd love to include you, you could be compromised.

 

wh473v3r y0u 54y.

7h4nk y0u, fuck0ff hug3 4l13n 807, 7h15 m4k35 m4rg1n4lly m0r3 53n53 n0w.

 

Exac7ly my poin7! 7he cul7ural meaning is comple7ely differen7, and I have no more 7o say on 7he ma77er.

Spoiler: OOC: -muffled screaming-

Ain'7 i7 my words 7ha7 ma77er, ma7e? I never called you any7hing of 7he sor7. I'm sorry if I gave you 7he wrong impression.

I migh7 be disappoin7ed if you've abandoned your ideals, bu7 I understand. You've been 7hrough so much 7rauma, i7's only na7ural if you blame Him for wha7 happened.

 

In the interest of full disclosure, there is a matter of mutual self-interest, but we would be willing to help even if there were not. And it's mutual self-interest.

 

You will let him say "no," right? Let him refuse to do anything if that's what he wants?

 

Always happy to help. Is making ourselves small the thing to do now? I wish I'd bothered to switch my HMA over, I'd feel silly using it now.

[He shrinks to about 7' tall.]

This is bizarre.

Well. At least you aren't stupid about it.

 

My G-d you're a supercilious bastard.

Of course we will.

 

1 c4n und3r574nd 7h47.

8l4m3 h1m. y0u 7h1nk 1-

-The air becomes charged, reeking of ozone.-

y0u 7h1nk 1 8l4m3 h1m??????????????????????

 

*smiles softly* I thought so, but... the talk of mutual self-interest and all was worrying me.

 

I like my warm moral fuzzies. But the woman who enslaved Mituna would like me better if I were a whole lot deader.

 

Valiska is just being honest. There is a way Mituna can help us help ourselves and help him--and help others in his position--if he chooses to. And when it's safe to let him know what that is, we will tell him.

 

Yeah, I guess, but... *sighs* I'd honestly like it better if you guys were just doing it for validation of personhood and warm moral fuzzies.

 

*He goes quiet at that last part, his remaining eye narrowing into a slit.*

riiiiiiiight. and my ex is leading a revwolt against her imperiousness. see? i can tell outrageous falsehoods too.

 

4n 1mp0r74n7 7h1ng 70 r3m3m83r, 7h0ugh y0u pr0848ly 4lr34dy kn0w- 0u751d3 0f h3r3, 1'v3 g07 l0y4l7y pr0gr4mm1ng, 4nd 57uff 3n5ur1ng my 4850lu73 c0mpl14nc3. 0n 7h3 0ffch4nc3 7h47 y0u'r3 n07 fuck1ng w17h m3, y0u'r3 g0nn4 w4n7 70 f1nd 4 w4y 4r0und 7h053, 83c4u53 1 c4n'7 4c7u4lly f1gh7 7h3m c0n51573n7ly 0r w3ll.

 

So would we.

 

Well, I guess it's good that we agree on that, then?