shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

-She climbs him like a tree, wings drooped.-

 

Burlesque, I hope you know you're rewarding her for bad behavior. We have a negotiation running that I will do something similar, but if and only if she responsibly consumes her rationed fuel. I would appreciate it if you didn't undermine that.

 

Well, it is my joy to deprive you of that little bit of satisfaction.

What are you going to do, spank me?

[He hugs her close and settles her in his lap. Time to crush Nichrome even further!]

 

Oh I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the several million years and generations in which there were no new sparklings! And stay the frag downstairs before I break my promise to never set foot into Tyrest Accord space again to blow you up so well that you're really dead.
Which would be irresponsible of me, because I've got people here - not only Transformers, but other species, mechanic, organic, energy, elemental, bionic, some living only a couple dozen solar cycles naturally, who rely on me. Who rely on me to be there and keep slag straight so they can go on with their lives, no matter how much I want to bury myself in my basement for a couple lunar cycles and continue with my projects.
And now you threaten to destroy everything again just after we've finally, finally started to leave behind the slag of your name?

Admittedly, the bar is not high, but I can respect someone willing to deal with a huge mess like that and making it work somehow.
(Apostasia's mouth twitches up.)
That being said, you might want to start clearing out the planet, I've got a hunch that you've got a divine infestation.

 

-he's got an apron on. it's got flowers on it-
Hey, hey, did you not hear me say? I'm not destroying anything, I'm cleaning up!

 

-He turns his face away, wings flickering-
Thank you.

-after he has put himself together a bit-

I´ll bet. Trust me, I´m not laughing at you.

 

There were sparklings on the colonies.

 

Not unless we have something negotiated beforehand. That said, what do you think would be a proper payment to cease and desist? I do still have one or two ears back home that I could pull on in your favor.

 

... IS THAT PRIMUS?!!??!?!?!?

*Quiet cough cough choke of vocalizers failing. Alright even dreaming them to work right takes a lot of work.*

 

-A sharp edged smirk- And how do you expect me to do that? Despite what everyone seems to think, I have no power over Titans or Deitys.

 

[He nods a little, and carefully wraps his arms around Cloudcrusher's waist, avoiding his wings with extreme care.]

Right. Right. I am here. I am here and I still have worth.

 

You alright there? Engex cube? Slap on the back?

 

...yeah. Sorry. I was just surprised. Probably not gonna stop hugging my friend for a little while. Do you still want to talk?

 

...oh, no you did not. Really? You're worse than I thought. What about bodily autonomy?

 

[His eyes light up. Oh-ho, now you're talking his language.]

I want a no-strings attached apartment, ideally in a better part of town, paid off and in Flux's name. Nothing connecting it with me. Someplace high enough up to be hard to reach, but not so high that I can't jump if I have to.

Think you can manage it?

 

Spoilsport

You sure? I could start biting again.

[Nichrome makes a strangled sound that might be a giggle]

 

(Apostasia scoffs) Sure, start with those four million years of fallout, but the rust goes up to your basement door.

And every single one of those GLITCHES WHO FRAGGED UP EVERYTHING IS GOING TO POINT AT YOU AND SAY "A-HA, SEE WE WERE RIGHT, NOW GO BACK TO YOUR PRIMUS-ASSIGNED PLACES"
(vent cycle)
You don't even know what your FRAGGING PRESENCE WILL CAUSE BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO DEAF AND BLIND AND UNCARING TO ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THOSE WHO PRAY TO YOU
(Apostasia's tears had let up, but they're back full force now.)

 

Exactly. Ain't no god gonna make that not true - if nothin' else, I'll be here t'tell you.

 

(deep vent cycle. don't look at the glowy asshole. reset your vocalizer. try to look halfways composed even though you're still crying.)
...explosives, duh.

 

-smiles- As long as your friend promises not to bite. -eyes Nichrome-