shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Mm-hm. And now I'm leaving, so I'll never get to see who finishes it, whereupon all of my ire for the situation would be magically swept away!
-he makes jazz hands-

Really, if you want a truly good fight, I'd be happy to provide. We've proved that we're well matched, even.
-a trace of a smile is visible around his eyes-

 

ok so one: maybe what you dont understand is that im literally only making fun of your name thats it im not making fun of your ideals because i cant make fun of your ideals because i dont know what they are i just said the name is dumb as a box of hair and maybe someone should change it

two: i do not think you have a degree in diplomacy at least partly because theres no such thing where the shit are you getting this fixation on formal education deal amiga i havent been to school in three years cos some assbag in a suit shipped me to some desert otherworld place if im fixated on formal education its because id rather like to have some again but anyway i guess figurative speech is too hard for a body without a sense of humor to grasp

and three: are you really forreal telling me that the best you can do is make generalizations about a people and then tell them they should be grateful youre not the type to commit genocide because thats so bad i almost wanna commission someone to write a diplomacy for metal idiots book hashtag try harder youre doing nothing to make me wanna listen to anything you have to say

no but i laughed at a word that means i kill robot babies for shiggles your captain is an intellectual powerhouse lemme tell you she sure followed the smoke to the right fucking fire

 

-stretches and winks-
I can't help it, I'm a temptress.

... Yes okay, fine I'll stop antagonizing people for my own petty amusement.
Where are we going to drink? Or do we do the fighting first?

 

Well, since it's dreamspace, we could go... anywhere, really. Why don't you pick? We'll have the first rounds, then a gleeful argument, then we'll make up the traditional way.

 

... Nah I have self control today.
Bye!

 

[Yelling after Nichrome, while cackling.]

WIMP

 

-she catches his hand, grinning enough thaeven people unfamiliar with masked mechs will be able to tell-
Lemme show you guys the bar I used to hang out at six million years ago! The 'keep brewed this great artisan engex... uh, mildly illegally, but it's worth the codeword slag!

 

-yells back over her shoulder-
BRAT!

 

-he laughs-
Ooh, gonna make the Cap slum it a li'l today, honey? Long's you dream up that bar with a shootin' range out back, I'm down. Nothin' like an argument topped off with a shootin' contest.
-he winks-

 

Look bro she and I weren't even in the same faction before this whole ceasefire peace whatsit don't tell me 'Cons are out of their fraggin' processors. [He shrugs.] Pretty much everyone onboard is honestly like for real who would want to get shipped off on some rusty bucket of bolts doomed to get literally shot down as soon as we get near our objective?

 

Hey :((( I wanted to go see things other than Cybertron for once!!! (And maybe find out if I stopped being so clumsy on a space ship... guess not :((( ) And!!! I think we won't get shot down!!! I don't think we'll succeed, but I have faith that we can avoid getting shot!!! No one's gotten shot so far, after all!!!

 

What.

No no no.

 

Spidey you're super cute but you have pretty obviously never tried to get into Galactic-held space. Like the fringes are okay but any planet they actually care about?? We are gonna get so dead.

 

-she giggles-
Absolutely! And I'm sure we can find something with enough boom to make it worth the effort of dreaming up a shooting range!

.... Let's not even go there.

 

Uhhh.

Hey there Gigantor what's up can I help you or are you just gonna freak out at me? [Despite his flippant tone, his wings curl forward almost protectively.]

 

I thought this was a safe place!

-She curls in on herself a little.-

 

Look, okay, maybe you don't see this because he's like... our ace in the hole I guess??? But Burlesque is attached to my delegation and he's negotiated with organics for a long time!!! I'm sure between him and some research we can at least know enough to get told off in person, and let go with maybe just the one hostage!!! Maybe not even that!!! Plus it's going to be a while until we get there!!! Everyone can learn diplomacy in the meantime!!! I sure didn't know any when I started out!!!

 

-she sobers up immediately-
We're not going to get shot down.
There are precautions in place.
We are going to stay in fringe space and announce our approach and officially petition for an audience, and we are going to be ready to hightail it the fuck out of there if it looks like they will start to get violent.
We're going to be okay.

 

you dont like the treaty if youre calling them batshit then right

safety doesnt exist

 

Are you sure? That doesn't sound like a sure thing. Is it a sure thing?