shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

[She huffs, annoyed]
It WOULD be easy if ANYONE on board had gotten a beginner's class you know. Try doing your jetfuel "I have SOOOOOO much experience" scrap somewhere out of sight if you aren't willing to help out.

Don't make them so obvious. Or do I look like someone subtle to you?

Condolences.

[She dodges the barage then fires a shot right at the head of the mech]

 

... uh. Sure.
Ssssssssomeone from Engineering?

I'm aware how medics work, Ma'am.
[she laughs]

 

oh oH OH OH OH!!!!!!!!!!!! HI!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I have been summoned into this space by invoking machine repairing contests.
Do you want the drinking game version or the boring version.
Also how much explosions.

 

Hi! Nice legs! Can you help us out?

-She floats the words in front of him.-

 

Ah yes, that stunning Cybertronian incompetence. I'm already scheduled to give Focal a seminar on diplomatic relations and diplomacy in general. I can pen you in as well. I suppose I ought to open it to anyone who would care to attend.

But if I made them less obvious, how would you know where to hit? I'd hate having you swing blindly rather more.

 

[The sudden appearance of Someone Important startles the bird.]

Spoiler: gif

[He scrambles to his feet, wings trembling faintly even as he holds himself at something approximating parade rest.] Captain. Sir. I, ah-- [Stop. Just stop talking.]

 

*unfortunately, clowns are notoriously hard to kill. the mech staggers backwards, then its torso begins to rapidly spin in circles*
I HAVE TAKEN SERIOUS DAMAGE HONK. THIS CALLS FOR THE THIRD WEAPON IN MY ARSENAL

GO, HoNkER BlAsT 5000!!!!!!!

HONK!
*a deafeningly loud honk reverberates throughout the undefined walls of the liminal space*

*bananas and mouse traps are now flying in all directions*

 

YES HI I M THE NICE LEGS BOI!!!! there r so many options omg um wat abt u fix, um, um, um.... THESE????

[Boom. Check out these big ol' speedboats, that are.... tiny compared to the Cybertronians. He concentrates and... ah! The right sizes. He places a hand on each hull.]

i just need a minute or 2 2 break em diffrent ways. this is weird lol i usually fix things!! omg this is so excitin

 

Have fun!

-She beams.-

 

[she rolls her optics]
Thank you. I will in the future elect to overlook your glaring lack of aesthetic sensibilities.

[she shots again and again until the clown drops. she hits every time too. Birds tend to be crackshots.]

I'll be right over sweetspark, just quickly dealing with this.

 

[Nichrome shakes her head a little and waves off]
It's alright, sheesh. No one's reacted like that to me coming into a room since that one time I was stuck under rubble for like a week and believed dead.

 

Sir? [How is he supposed to react to this? He can't tell if the captain's attempting camaraderie or building up to a lecture. Better stay on best behavior Just In Case.]

 

Need me to make tools for you in the meantime?

 

Please relax... Eclipse, was it? I came here to help with drunk engineering games for old times sake not out of some official function.

 

I'll need t- I MEAN of course I will need tools! And I have uh... left mine behind on Caminus. Haha, how silly of me. Do feel free to make some replacements I'm sure they'll suffice.

 

Identical to my own, then. Unfortunately I can't scale them up too much because the end sizing is important.

-She concentrates on that, smiling serenely.-

 

Oh I have experience with small, difficult things, don't worry.
[she raises an optic ridge]

 

...sir. [He nods faintly, splays his wings submissively downwards, and... does not relax at all. You Tried, Nichrome.]

 

*The H.O.N.K mech is now lying mangled on the ground, on fire, and with black smoke billowing from its chassis. high pitched alarm horn sounds honk in warning*
D-DON'T YOU THINK IM DONE JUST YET, I STILL HAVE THE LAST OF THE WEAPONS IN MY ARSENAL

IT MAY NOT BE CLOWN-BASED, BUT DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES

BEHOLD!
*The clown exits the H.O.N.K Mech, which explodes, and reveals a basketball, which he begins to slowly dribble*