shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

SHUT UP YOU'RE NOT HELPING
୧(๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭
-are those sparks at the corners of his optics? surely not-

 

Incorrect assumption. Wealth of experience has shown otherwise. Patients not reassured by emotional breakdowns or unemotional readings of issues. 'Cold unfeeling slagger' is not a compliment.

And Captain Swiftwing may not contribute to running of ship, but if you are under impression that his hysterics cannot significantly interfere with running of ship, I would like to "sell you a bridge".

Resent choice to encourage selfish and reductive behavior. Understand that this is very humourous to you, but inclined to say 'you may have hysterical crewmates and deal with them' then.

 

-Sawbones instead braces her forepaws on the chair and sticks her face in the bowl of nibbles.-
Cap´tn Life Support, yer bein´an idiot. -she says once she´s swallowed- Yer emotions chip exists fer a reason.

 

I c'n see that, honey. I was jus' sayin' it's rude t' invoke somebody if you ain't intendin' on talkin' to them directly.

Not sure we're gonna get through to him like this - always was a stubborn slagger. Triage's got the best arguments right now, seems like.

 

Make me.
(Apostasia smiles a most innocent smile.)

Well, mine have something called "functioning coping mechanisms". It's a prerequisite for joining the sem'ya.

 

Wait, you've turned off your emotion chip?

-His kibble flips up in the wing-signal for 'distress'-

 

Incorrect. In this space, I have to allow you to affect me.

I realize you are joking, but I feel the advancement of my scientific work will continue more rapidly if I do, indeed, keep the chip off.

Hmm. You may have a point. Still, one mech is not a viable sample size.

Captain Swiftwing is not especially close to me. I don't think he will be too bothered.

 

-gives CC the saddest godly puppy look-

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
NO! I'M NOT GOING TO! BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE A RUDE SLAGGER WHO DOESN'T DESERVE THE TIME OF CYCLE YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO HAVE ME DOING THINGS TO YOUR HEAD!

 

*amazed* That's actually a prerequisite in your organization?

 

WHY WON'T YOU JUST LISTEN
you always used to be so good at listening

 

Understandable yet incorrect assumption. Learning, advancement requires curiousity, engagement, passion. You have made yourself useless, to put bluntly.

 

Valiska chuckles. "I see the cut of your jib, sweetling. You'll make some queen happy some day, don't you fret. My husband Stanford is a bondmate, which would mean--on the world where he took the vows--that he is legally under my hand for the rest of his life unless I let him go or he formally asks to be released. But I am a kind and gentle queen, unless that's not what he needs in the moment--and I make him very happy, and if I didn't I would be a shameful pariah."

Valiska giggles. "That, and the fact that your ability to attract chaos rivals that of my own family. Relax. I am a carnivore, it's true, but when I bare my fangs in a threat display, my ears will also be set back and my eyes will be steely. It doesn't look the least bit friendly. We smile, as well, and it's not entirely like a human smile, but it's a lot like a serval smile or a thylacine smile, and it means what you think it does."

"Well, Pennarion proper isn't a matriarchy at all--only my pride, and similar households, retain that social structure. As I said, we're not a monocultural society, and we do have a male ruler."

"Let Stentato's sister take care of him," Valiska suggests gently. "It's very good of you to be concerned about his welfare when his behaviour is upsetting you, but he's not alone here so it's okay for you not to engage him until he is calmer and then ask directly if he could use any help."

"Well," Valiska demurs, "I don't know him well enough to say that we are truly friends, but I care about him enough to be concerned at some of the things he says, and I think he is kind by nature, which is more than a lot of people can say."

Valiska's ear pricks up. "If Jetski thinks he likes you... breaking the silence on your end might be a kindness, you know. I don't consider myself a relationship expert, because I've only been in two relationships. On the other hand, I am still in both of them, and one of them has lasted twenty-five years, which is a long time for an organic! Anyhow, frequently sensitive people have a hard time verbalising attraction. I had to make the first actual move with both of my mates, and they were very grateful that I did. It isn't my business, and you can do whatever you want, of course. But there's also no reason he couldn't like both of you. And that can be very nice."

Valiska waves at Tempest Dive, and her translator bursts out: .-- . .----. .-. . / -. --- - / .- .-.. .-.. / -. . .-- !!!

 

Good. You are in a position to teach everyone then. Glad to see that you are happy to take on the extra responsibility.

Your ability to properly predict the emotional and mental state in crewmembers seems hindered. Are you certain you did not accidentally induce traumatic brain injury?

 

If you continue bickering I'll turn the ship around see if I don't.
Life Support turn the fragging chip on or I will do it for you and I have never done brain surgery before.

 

Joking?? Oh please, this is too golden all by itself for me to be joking about this.

Sounds like you're afraid, Primus. This is adorable. Too bad I can't take proof of your little tantrum back to the waking world, I would find a way to broadcast it to the whole galaxy, and find a way to record Optimus' reaction to watching it.

 

*sheepish laugh* ... that obvious, huh?

You don't have to know him well at all to be concerned at some of the things he says. Have you heard how he's summarized the bullshit we've went through?

 

I'M SO SORRY YOU'RE NOT CAPABLE OF CARING ABOUT ANYONE ENOUGH TO GET UPSET WHEN THEY STOP CARING ABOUT YOU!

 

How much do you pay, is the question.

 

When you advance an argument worth listening to, as Triage has, then I will. My job is not to listen to or work out emotions. Cloudcrusher or Aurora are responsible for that.

Yet if I re-engage my chip, I will be hindered by doubt, anxiety, fear, and insecurity. I do not believe I would be any more efficient that way.

No. I've never been able to do such a thing. My emotional intelligence has always been stunted. Anything that sounded emotionally intelligent previously I copied from Cloudcrusher. It will be a relief not to have to do so any more.

No. I doubt you will risk permanently damaging my processor to regain my emotional function. You have a ship to look after and Triage and the nurses are not sufficient to care for the entire crew, good as they are.

 

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA

--excuse me, but --

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
oh wow, best joke of the last three megacycles.
Primus, caring about people--

(Apostasia continues laughing)