shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

How dare you. You monster.

 

*there will be no reprieve from this pouting until the foot is removed from cronus' face*

 

*laughing* Well, I saw you with the devil, so hah!

 

Well, nothing wrong with platonic. It's just weird that you like me so much without wanting anything in return.

 

Who is this handsome devil I was with? Was it Flux? How dare you air my secret affairs with 'the devil'. Perhaps I saw you with 'the devil', times infinity, I win. Infinity plus one, even.

In return, you like me. So it's a fair trade, I think.

 

whyd you stop. keep going, this is HILARIOUS.

 

*bursts out laughing* ... that's not impossible.

Well. I also saw you kissing Santa Claus!

 

It doesn't work like that.

-She frowns.-

 

I have no idea who Santa Claus is either. I am choosing to be more offended than I ever have been in my life.

[Still talking like he's bored or discussing the weather, though now he's smirking.]

It does though. I promise.

[He hugs her tighter.]

 

No, but, people who are hanging out with me are doing me a favor, so I have to do favors in return.

 

Your existence is a gift which I savor every waking moment. So you are doing me favors in that way.

 

I said stop pouting at me you little-...person...of short stature...

I'll fucking-...no, I can't do that to Juice...

I'll break-...no, I can't do that to them either

I'll knock-..................

*Grumbles*

I'll knock it off..............

[As he says this, he removes his foot from Cronus' face, lazily signalling "I surrender" with his hands. To conceal the fact that he is now blushing, he quickly lights another cigarette, spins around, and stalks off to elsewhere in the rave]

 

He gives you gifts if you've been good. And coal if you've been naughty.

And he is supposed to be faithful to Mrs. Claus but he sucks at that.

 

-She does not look convinced.-

 

(evwerything hurts and i still havwe a boner.)

 

...Is this a fetish?

 

[still reluctant to even be touching him, juice helps him stand up, barely even looking at him]

@Jamethiel Knorth ...when you're, um...done...that would be the guy i was talking about

 

Nope. A holiday icon.

 

You celebrate fetishists? What an interesting culture you have.

 

it can be