shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

That's your choice. That does not mean that it should have to be everyone's.

 

You're starting to speak my language here, amigo.

 

"That's not what necromancers do, you know. Necromancers talk to the spirits of dead people and sometimes they bring dead bodies back to something that looks like life, but usually involves a lot of manual labour for which they are paid in all the brains they can eat."

 

Valiska waves at Norm. "Glad you're willing to talk to me again!"

 

"The clown is stoned," Ford says with a shrug. "More stoned than I have ever been. At any time in my life. Even with Fiddleford."

 

that may be true, but all three events actually happened, and two of them are actually pretty common occurrences on many stations

Spoiler: gif

this was what the robutticist's army looked like

 

wait, that's four events counting the bees, HONK

*the clown giggles uncontrollably, the giggles turning into sobbing halfway through*

 

Death happens is what they want to say, I think? Knot as a moral. Jus as a thing. Like Ma'Vali is an obligate carnivore, and we don't have vat-grown meat yet as far as I know.

 

A cycle, closed, from death to birth
Like the wilderness, surplus and dearth
Excess of prey to predator's growth
Only so much space atop the earth

Remember, you have witnessed our home
The ancient leaders, with their gills and salt
Carry this stagnation's fault
And the empress on her golden throne

Any future, nipped in the bud
Only tried-and-true-and gruesome rule
To dream of change is to be a fool
To purge the old strikes me as good

 

What The Fuck Is Even Going On Anymore This Is Giving Me A Headache.

 

"I am pretty sure that the Empire is terrible because the Condesce is a terrible person. A violent bigot, who chooses others like herself to empower, and who has no respect for the value of any life but her own." Ford shrugs.

"I don't want to go until there's nothing left for me to learn and discover, and I have no intention of going voluntarily until I've had at least one good solid century of peace in which to do just that."

 

"That is true," Valiska says, "and I enjoy the hunt. But I still intend to create the Philosopher's Stone. I don't think Ford intends that nothing living should ever die, no more than I do; but I don't think sapient beings should be lost to us until they want to see what lies beyond this life."

She sighs. "I spent my earliest childhood among people who account all life as suffering and worship Death for what they deem her fairness and compassion. I'll have none of that. Life is suffering because some people choose to make it so."

Valiska smiles gently at Chroma. "It's an adult argument about a topic that very few people are willing to consider, and you don't need to form an opinion just yet."

She lowers her voice and leans in close. "You're not really pitch for that dweeb like he thinks...are you? I mean, it's okay if you are, I just...didn't think there was really enough there to admire and want to improve? And also, he's too old for you. That guy was born a finicky, fun-hating geezer."

 

Ew Gross No.
... Maybe?
Oh Sufferer I Think I Just Threw Up A Little In My Mouth.
Does It Count If I Want To Stuff Dirty Socks Between His Shitty Nubby Fangs Until He Cant Spew That Bullshit Anymore?

 

"I think we all feel like that," says Valiska, patting her shoulder.

 

*whispers*
Mom Why Is My Taste Absolute Garbage?

 

1'm n07 c4ll1ng y0ur fr13nd 4 84d p3r50n, 345y. 1 ju57 h0ld my53lf 70 c3r741n...574nd4rd5 7h47 1 w0uldn'7 h0ld 4ny0n3 3l53 70. 17'5 4 kn0wn 8ug.

1 kn0w 1 l0v3 7h3m, 8u7 d0 1 l0v3 7h3m 3n0ugh.

1'm n07 g0nn4 455um3 5h17 480u7 wh47 7h15 80d c4n 4nd c4nn07 h4ndl3 4nym0r3, 4f73r 4ll 7h3 74mp3r1ng 5h3'5 d0n3, 8u7 7h4nk y0u.

7h47'5 7h3 0nly 817 1 c4n m4n4g3 70 574y p1553d 47 h3r f0r. 3v3n 4ll 7h3 c0nqu3575 4nd 5u8jug4710n5 0f 54p13n7 831ng5 8lur 70g37h3r 4f73r 4 wh1l3.

g00d 7h1ng 1'v3 4lr34dy 73573d 17 f0r y0u, 7h3n??

-He smiles wryly.-

7h1nk 1'v3 d0n3 m0r3 7h4n 3n0ugh 0f 5p3w1ng my 1d107 pr08l3m5 3v3rywh3r3 f0r n0w, 8u7...1'll k33p 7h47 1n m1nd, y34h?? 7h4nk5.

 

so? i bet i could dig up PLENTY of people vwho appreciate me.

 

Oh. So it is pitch. Valiska sighs and hugs her around the shoulders. "First of all, your taste is not absolute garbage. Lo and Oneira and Clover aren't garbage people. Neither was Static, wherever the hell they are now. So perhaps he has hidden depths, even if they're very well hidden. Secondly, you have met some of the beings your father has dated. Most people end up with at least one shitty ex before they settle into a clade. Fortunately, Ford is an outlier. Unfortunately, so am I, and you can't expect that you'll never date someone terrible just because I haven't. But we won't let you make any really horrible mistakes, if you're honest with us and listen to us."

"I think you did. I also think that now that they're gone, they would want you to do what you have to do to survive for as long as you have no choice. And I will do everything I can to give you a choice for my sake, your sake, and the sake of our world."

Valiska sighs. "I can't even begin to comprehend how many people died during Weirdmageddon alone--not to mention all of the evil Bill did before he ever met Ford. It's okay, Mituna. It's impossible to comprehend that scale of violence. Everyone who died meant as much to someone as my family does to me and your friends do to you, but trying to hold all that in your head will just fuck you up. Just remember that she made all of the choices, and she didn't let you make any."

 

"I didn't know you knew how to summon zombies." Dipper glances in Ford's direction. "By the way: you, Mr Corduroy, and Old Man McGucket were playing on hard mode. It doesn't take three part harmony, it just takes three voices."

 

Spoiler: Julius has problems :(

-She grabs her horns and curls over. She's making distressed clicky noises and shaking her heads!-

[] You're a liar!!! You ceep telling us you're so old but you're just a pissblood!!!
[] Why would you mace up standards no one kan meet unless you want to make them feel bad about themselves????
[] You just lice to mace us feel bad!!!!!!!! You're a terrible person!!!!!!!!!!!!