shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Power's the best they've come up with yet? Amateurs. There are many many more things on offer, if you know how to ask...

 

yeah, see, that is super non-fucking-sensical! its like me telling YOU to just shift your gringlepok into blue.

 

Power, Love, Happiness, Joy, Money... Truly they offer anything they feel will get what they want. A mage to corrupt, a body to ride, and a way to rip the veil. You talk like a very nice desire demon I spoke with in my 'harrowing', what a darling they were. Absolutely shit at their job, but a darling.

Excuse me, my gringlepok is always in blue. How could you say such a thing to me?
Honestly, if this is made of dreamstuff (as it seems to be due to how it feels) then it is simple! In your dreams if you wish to be giant you just are, it should work the same no?

*Snaps his fingers, and in his opposite hand appears a glass of wine*

See? Force of will. I wanted wine, and I have it.

 

still not helping, moron!

 

How am I to help you when I am a moron?

 

Desire, hm? I've heard worse names. As for a body to ride... well. [How is the amorphous blob winking. How.]

 

you cant. all dudes are morons and theyre stuck that vway forevwer. go sit in the moron corner.

 

*He's seen worse, oh has he seen worse.* Not that way, more in the 'I am literally controlling your body and warping it into a terrible monstrosity to kill people because this is what I do with my spare time as a demon' way.

You know, that is quite apt. I am nothing but a moron with wine, hm. I like that. *Takes a delicate sip of wine*

 

You have offended Mara, The Evil One, The Tall and Magnificent! We demons of temptation use the promise of endless power because it has worked time and time again!

 

Well. I, ah. Can't honestly say I haven't done that, but, well, all my subjects deliberately asked for it! And, okay, sub "unknown threat" for "people," but is that really any worse?

The fun way is much nicer, to be honest.

 

Know your mark, spikey! Offerin' a fish water don't help much, hey?

 

Did they ask for it because they knew what would happen, or did they ask for it because they were unaware of the end result? Either way that's a teensie bit demon-like. A friend of mine would say, however, that demons are just spirits twisted by bad interactions. No one is evil, nothing is bad, the world is pure, and humans called all of the world's issues.

'Friend' *Makes the most aggressive air quotes while chugging his wine*

Surprisingly, it works quite well in places like where I am from. Every Tevinter mage wants more power. In Ferelden, they lock their poor mages up in towers and treat them like second class citizens. It's unsurprising that 'power' and 'freedom' are rather popular with that lot.

 

They volunteered for undefined experimentation that may or may not end in death, insanity, and/or frame-changes to the subjects! If some of them are still alive, well, that's good, right?

...hm. Where's your friend, I wanna pick his processor. If nothing is bad, how was there ever trouble to call?

Hmmmmmm. [Pairs of wings fan and fold, fan and fold. Sounds like he needs to plan another kidnapping-jailbreak, if he ever gets his Titan functional again.] Sounds... familiar.

 

In the plane I hail from, I am certain that I have a very prominent allure. A variety of statues stand erect in my honor, for I am famous for having nearly penetrated into the depths of the Buddha's mind!

My draw of temptations surpass those of Asmodeus's! They are second only to Lucifer's!

 

-mutters something about pots and kettles-

 

Ford yawns. "See, this is why I only worship the Ain Sof...and my lovers, of course, but that's different. Too many divine and demonic beings out there whose sensibilities would have enabled them to fit right into the Glass Shard High class of 69."

 

No it isn't. *giant eyeroll*

 

LAAAAAAME.

ivwe seen hotter demons sitting in the gutters outside those quote-unquote 'vwizard vworkshops' that EVWERYONE knowvs are fuckhivwes.

 

Shutcher face, daddy dearest, at least I asked instead'a just picking people at random for upgrades.

 

"It's complicated, Norm. Try and find an excuse to bring it up back home, I don't think I can work through this with you more than once." Ford sighs. "There are a lot of variables, and mortal psychology isn't my best subject by far. Immortal psychology is actually pretty different in some ways, and...the concept of inalienable rights is not innate in either."