shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

nah I ain't got finger mounted weapons. That'd be really inconvenient for a lotta slag.

 

Bro.

 

Ford groans. "I'm not. People like that need to be educated out of their idiocy. Animals--including sapient animals--eat other animals. Some of them don't have a choice. My wife is an obligate carnivore."

He glances at Norm. "And don't conflate militant veganism and animal liberation theory, which is utilitarianism combined with a total divorcement from natural living gone horribly wrong, with environmental concerns. There are plenty of people who don't subscribe to that nonsense who care about the welfare of the planets they live on."

 

i dont really need to worry about guns but i imagine it would be

 

Yeah, I know. It's just that they, at least kinda, share a common theme. It doesn't make them the same and it doesn't make militant veganism and animal liberation theory any good, but... the ideas do have something to do with each other. And I don't know this science stuff as well as you do. And in my dimension, magical creatures like me never really worried about the environment since any fuckery done to it could just be magicked away.

 

For the love of god, Montresor!

-Dramatic flop on couch that materializes as she falls.-

 

"Because they want to make the rest of us eat only plants, and that would kill me?" Valiska shrugs.

"So is she volunteering to take the place of everyone else's lunch? Because I won't eat sapients, but if they locked me up and force-fed me plants I might change my mind."

"Okay, that's just sick." Valiska is sitting on the end of the couch scratching Cordelia's ears. "And how do they keep those pets from hunting, if they won't feed them properly?"

 

By the Gods, I've figured it out! The it so in question being the mystery of why my little winged friends were so intent on leading me to the graveyard. A bit morbid perhaps, but the stones appear to be a teleportational nexus! Upon inspection the stones bore not names of people but of places. Places to which I have been previously. I ran my finger across the name of the clinic, belonging to a one Iosefka, thinking of the place. Small, dark, run down, and reeking awfully of blood and there I was waking up. I pushed myself up from the floor as if waking from a dream and rubbed my eyes to see the living world once more. My limbs have been tested. I cut my finger a tad to see if I would be bleed and bleed I did. I have all my belongings with me as well. The only difference I can note is that there is a most curious lamp post near where I woke. The light it emits is purple and it is guarded by curious white fellows. The same sort who carry my messages and those of others to and fro.

But the most marvelous thing by far is that I may well not be dead! Or perhaps I am! Or perhaps this is all just yet another dream! Testing will have to be done to find out!

 

...most housecats aren't let outdoors...outdoor cats don't live as long

it's usually only the more extreme vegans...who would try to give cats a vegan diet..i don't think alex is that extreme though...probably

...i don't think so...at least..?

 

"Only if you're circumcised. The rabbi, of course, would have to be...unless she bought her dick at the store." Ford shrugs.

"Hey, comments like that are the reason G-d gave me two middle fingers on each hand."

"As well as comments like that. Not that I want to do it with robots."

"Well, that's good news," Ford says, because he really doesn't want her to be dead. He may also be hoping that none of those stones say 'Pennarion' because he sure as shit does not want her gods in his world, but...mostly he hopes she'll survive and not do anything stupid.

 

I mean it can also be very convenient in couple'a fringe cases but ya know ;P
But I'mma datapad, I don't gotta lotta onboard weapons.

 

"But I am not a house cat," says Valiska.

 

Oh, I am almost as giddy as the night I walked by the shore with Justine!

It's stupendous news!

 

...
I Dont Get What The Reference Is To, But Sure.
-gently pats her curls-

 

okay..?
[juice does not understand why this statement is being made]

 

The streets are still hounded by the mad citizens of Yharnam, torch and pitchforks and all. Though, to be perfectly honest, it's somewhat a comforting sight at the moment.

 

"Actually, militant veganism and animal liberation theory are pretty much the polar opposite of environmentalism. Widespread expansion of agriculture without animal husbandry is going to result in extreme soil depletion unless you want to use people for fertiliser, and animal liberationists mostly don't care how much animals hurt each other as long as humans derive no benefit from it because they believe that living with people is animal slavery. Never mind the part where most animals who live with sapients would not choose to live wild." Ford shrugs. "But now you know why I worry about your wishes sometimes."

 

You will pry my right to jokingly kinkshame my coworkers from my grey dead hands :P

Spoiler: nsfw?

On the more serious side- organic species usually just don't get big enough like dude death by sex is supposed to be exhaustion or circuit-frying not ripping your partners apart with your spike :c

 

Huh.

Damn, I really don't know anything important, do I?

 

do any of us