shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

The phallus is here.

 

*hides from the phallus*

 

SUCK MY DICK, DICK!

 

@Mara (Lightning Cage) (Fire Mine) (spams Frost Step)

 

-oh. oh thank the creators it is fine then. yes. calming down a bit yes. though still not the happiest-

Yes, I'm Merrill. And you know Varric too then? I can only imagine what sorts of stories he tells about me. "No shit there I was when Daisy leaped on the guard and scratched his eyes out," or something silly like that.

You aren't...angry then? Oh, I should probably ask your names. I haven't gone and done that.

 

And there is... a giant green penis? This is the least effective Desire demon I think I've ever met.

He's an old man. An old, old man. Decrepit, really.

It is, isn't it? I'm not sure how to feel. It's powerful but also not. Somehow. I wish I could remember how I got here.

I'm... sorry. I wish I had more to offer you than words.

 

six svweeps, obvwiously!

 

NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION.

 

It sounds like something from one of Varric's stories really.

It's alright. Well. It's not alright, honestly. At all, really. It's one of the least alright things in the world, and there are a lot of those. But there is the Alienage still. And me too. I suppose.

 

Berit Lavellan, Inquisitor. (extends non-glowy hand) And.. he's @Helios Lavellan, also Inquisitor, only we don't know each other because we're not from the same Clan Lavellan. It's rather a mess.

That's the exact kind of story, yes. Although I don't recall you doing any such thing.

I'm not angry with you, though.. (looks uncertainly at Helios, who she imagines probably knows more Elf Grapevine shit than she does? But then, maybe Kirkwall never exploded where he was.)

 

fight
fight
fight

 

Can you define that in terms of seconds or hours? I'm not from where you are. I have no reference for that unit of time.

For that matter, what is considered the age of majority in your culture?

 

I can go round two with you later, if you insist.

Not while Satan is here. Fuck that guy, and not in a sexual way for once.

Makarakarn. Now depart mortal, I am busy.
[Mara currently has magic-repelling shields.]

 

YES! FUCK SATAN UP!

 

Well, that's a confusing mess indeed.

-takes hand and shakes it. she is very careful to make sure she is doing it just right. these things are important. the next comment brings worry and confusion back to her though-

Though what? Oh, did I do something. Well. I mean something else.

 

Oh it does, doesn't it? I'd offer to swordfight it, but I can't actually hold a sword and Varric isn't here to write dashing portrayals of me for Cassandra.

And I'm not angry with you either. It'd be a bit hypocritical, wouldn't it? But yes, my name is Helios. Former Inquisitor, and absolutely not a Herald, no matter what lies and blasphemy my lovely husband chooses to spout.

It's lovely to meet you Merril. Varric has only the best to say.

 

I should hope he has something to say other than silly things like that. The leaping on guards thing. I rather miss his stories. Even if they were inaccurate. Why he told me pirates have parrots and Isabella never had a parrot or even wanted one. "Now what would I want with a parrot, Kitten," is what she said. I swear.

But, yes. It's nice to meet you both as well. Though I wish it were under less confusing circumstances. What with this talk of other Lavellans and giant green...things all wandering around.

 

Also thank you. For not being mad.

 

When we win the war, I shall blow my hot load of green flame all over His perpetually snobby deceased face. Gwahahahahahahaha!

 

i dont knowv, do i LOOK like a nerd??