shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Just practicing aim can be super useful~!
Also helps to try and make the blast as small around as possible~.
That concentrates the energy for and makes it go further~.

So, what can you do~?

 

I'll keep that in mind! I guess we should set up on a rooftop though. I don't want an indoor range to get shredded when they figure out how to concentrate.

 

Yeah, and make sure there's nobody who could get hurt if they miss and it keeps going~.
I'm sure you can work out the logistics, though~.

 

Yeah, if I get the word out we can keep the skies clear. Mostly the hospital and news copters would be a problem, but I can probably get those to shoot me a warning if they'll be in the line of fire.

Thanks for the idea!

 

Just make sure they don't get too hung up on 'power levels'~.
Even if you're 'weak' it doesn't mean you can't be effective and skilled~.
And sometimes lower raw power is actually a boon~!

 

I've already said that my species isn't known for special abilities.
Does tennis count? I could have gone professional, if I'd chosen to, I was certainly good enough. Do your people have tennis? Springball, racquetball?

 

Is that a sport~?

 

Yeah no kidding. I'll keep it in mind though, since I guess some of them will think that's important.

 

I figured some of them probably will~.
I used to be a bit down on my psi, but that's kind of stupid~.
It's good I'm not helmsclass, and I'm strong enough to do something really cool~.
So what does it matter~?

 

For us I guess it's a matter of what's dangerous and what isn't. If you're too powerful, you risk getting scooped up by people who wanna do awful shit with you, and if you're not good at hiding, you risk getting killed for it. So most of 'em are probably smart enough to realize they don't wanna be big and powerful but... I guess I'm a pretty shit example for hiding.

Everyone wants to be a superhero, you know? So maybe I can kinda convince them to... not.

 

-She shrugs.-

What's a superhero~?

 

It, uh. Hm.

I mean, it's different for every city and country, I guess. We call it street theatre here in New Haven, but that's also kinda 'cause me and Queenie have things mostly on lock? Like, it's our turf, so we make the rules about it. I mean, it's like, uh, cops and robbers, but with powers-- psi and stuff I guess-- and no non-metas allowed. No normies, heh.

So like, being a superhero is being sort of a crimefighter? You uh, you confront bank robbers and hostage takers and stuff, and you stop them. So if you're a supervillain, you do stuff like rob places and build doomsday devices and, y'know, stupid shit. Queenie likes to shut down traffic in places and demand people throw jewelry at him.

I mean, other places it's different. We get tourism through New Haven 'cause of me and Queenie, and a couple others who mess around in the sandpit but-- there's this like organization? Sort of like a union. Which is, uh, a group of people who can take on bosses and stuff for you, because you're part of them, and you pay your dues and they look out for you. Except these guys are assholes, and mostly muscle out local metas to put their own people in and steal the spotlight. It's fucking superhero gentrification, if you can believe it. Like, what the fuck, right? So if you asked these guys, they'd say that uh, a superhero is a properly certified crimefighter with links in the city government, who takes their villains directly back to the prison system, and cleans the streets of the meta scourge. Which is some fuckin-- some goddamn bullshit is what it is.

*His hands start gesturing wildly as he gets worked up, all eight of his fingers occasionally contorting into rude gestures towards whatever organization he's talking about.*

So I guess it's like-- assholes in capes and colorful underwear. That's what superheros are.

 

-He leans back and groans, but he's grinning.-

It's a test of skill, of coordination, of control! Surely, you must have an equivalent!
A match of tennis takes place on a court with two opposing athletes, well, two or four, depending if you're playing doubles or singles-

-He describes tennis. In some alternate reality, an entirely separate humanoid refuses to look up the rules of tennis and instead leaves everyone else to imagine the wall of rules, famous players, and personal anecdotes that might have been.-

 

Marcus! Darling!
Are you talking shit? You knoooooow I don't hold up traffic just for jewlery, I steal that stuff!

No, I do it so the whooooole town can see how gorgeous I am!

 

You hold up traffic and demand people throw jewelry at you. I really don't care about your motivations, man. I thought you'd be awake right now?

 

What no why would I be awake I need my beauty sleep.
Also you're asleep so I gotta~!

Not a good dream unless you're in it daaarling~

 

Ugh. Ugh.

I mean, I'm hitting a downswing I think so uh. You might not want to base your sleep schedule around mine. I'm pretty much resigned to being a narcoleptic zombie for like three weeks.

 

If you see my beautiful face will that help? I'm joking.

You crash at my place then and I will take care of your zombie body while getting the reward of looking at your butt.

 

Ugh.

Carry me places, prince... well, calling you 'charming' would be a stretch so. Prince Attractive?

 

Who's this~?

-She drinks her tea.-