shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

*continues smirking*

 

[juice stumbles back into the rave, now holding an ice pack onto their forehead. they wander over to itch.]
...would...would you like some juice now?..actual juice...this time...
[they offer some grapefruit juice to her]

 

*She can't react to his smugness, as her face is pressed into the dirt and showing no signs of lifting itself up.*

 

*that only makes him more smug*

[Norm 1, Itch 0]

 

There's something like... I dunno, I wanna say at least four thousand colleges in my country? I think. I know there's a lot at least. So someone could bounce around for a while teaching bullshit, if they wanted to. That's not even counting um, primary and secondary schooling for kids.

And there's also uh, scam schools. Who's entire purpose is the spread misinformation, especially if they can make you pay for it.

There's um, specific jobs centered around teaching young and stuff. Lots of people who don't want to actually take care of kids will take teaching jobs, 'cause they can enjoy the room of kids without having to deal with all the real raising parts.

Some of my professors would have like, ten students in one class and then five hundred in a different one. There's um, a lot of us around.

But the whole point of the degree is you can call up the college who gave it and say, "Hey, this man is claiming to have graduated with honors, is that true?" and the college can check their records and say, "Yeah, he's good," or "No, he's lying." It's, um, a way of checking, I guess. Not that many people do. But they could.

 

*No response. Just drop it on the back of her head or something.*

 

[they poke at itch's cheek, checking for any signs of response]

 

*There is a muffled 'FUCK OFF'.*

 

‽‽‽‽‽‽‽

...okay, start at the easy question, what is "primary and secondary schooling"?

???? Why would young be trusted to someone who doesn't raise their own??? Sparklings are delicate!

That's still...

How does anyone have time to teach five hundred students at once? How do they all get attention?

Alright, verification from their mentor makes more sense, assuming that mentor isn't also in on the plan.

 

[seeing that itch is still alive, they place the juice box upon her head, pat it twice, then go back to watching chroma play tetris]

 

I don't think anyone bothers with that kind of conspiracy in college.

 

Oh jeez, um. Okay, so like, humans take a long time to mature, right? And these days we wanna teach kids a lot of information too. Though, uh, part of the schooling system is a uh, holdover from factory days, so the schooling isn't great, but, um. Okay. So from age like 5 to age uh, 13? That's primary school. Some school aren't K-8 and split it up again, but some don't. And then from 14 to 18, you've got high school, which is secondary school, and you should graduate it but you don't have to and that's where the higher end adult stuff is sort of taught. And then college is post-secondary schooling, which is supposed to be for specific trades and super intellectual stuff, but these days it's basically required.

You uh, pay for college, but you don't have to for school before it. Outside of taxes, I guess.

Sometimes because they have a degree, sometimes because the parents can't stop working to take care of the kids, and sometimes because the parents are kinda shitty but the teachers and babysitters are pretty good. I mean, if you're lucky I guess you get your oldest kid to take care of the younger ones and cut out the middle man entirely. I had to raise my sister 'cause my parents had to work so often.

They don't. I mean, it's not great, and most of the professors are kind of overworked too, but uh, the long and short of it is that not all students get attention. It sucks.

But that also means that professors aren't gonna like, take the fall for some random guy claiming to have learned for them. 'Cause they've got actual paying students to pay attention to. And there are scam colleges, but those usually just scam the students, 'cause most actual businesses know better than to trust scammers.

 

*Venus is less nice and jabs a pointy-toed pump into Itch's side.*

 

Alright, separating by age group makes sense at least, but why would learning a trade not be required??? Why fuel deadweight??

...okay. Paying for information and mentorship is probably the most normal thing said so far.

If a group can't afford to protect the young until said young is able to come out with them, they should not take on charges.

...wait, organics-- is it possible to have young unintentionally, if interfacing randomly creates them??? Is helping with younger siblings unusual?? To be fair I was physically mature when we took on my younger sibling but I'd still have been expected to help if I were still growing into my kibble!

How does anyone learn then????

Why would they do so for random stranger anyway?? Presence of real students is a factor how?

 

wow, thanks.

 

?? Honest questions. Someone who doesn't provide for their crew is taking without giving, actively stealing resources. If they're injured it's one thing, but why fuel a chronic leech when energon is so hard to come by already?

 

You remember where I mentioned factories up there? I mean, they've been replaced by customer service, but the idea is that there's uh, a bunch of jobs in the market that exist for very basic labor purposes, right? Like, on the job training on how to pull packages off the belt in the factory isn't something you need to go to school for. There's lots of jobs like that. Like being a barista. I mean, it's sort of a trade, but also fuck it, and I learned it all while doing it on the job anyhow.

It's not being a deadweight, because someone has to do it. But it's also not, uh, skilled labor, I guess.

Oh yeah. Accident babies happen all the time. Also so many people work that if you wanted to keep the population up, you just gotta admit that some kids are gonna have to be born to working families. And I mean, yeah you're supposed to take care of your baby sister, but that doesn't mean that you should have to be the one cooking her lunches and stuff when you're barely old enough to reach the stove.

I mean, shit happens, we only had food 'cause I could do that and my parents were working to buy it, but it still sucks.

Lots of effort and repeating classes where necessary, I guess. I dunno, I picked up on stuff pretty easy and just kept on top of my work enough to get decent grades. I don't think I bothered to learn most of the junk I was just taking for credits.

You're the one that brought up mentors being in on stuff. Lots of professors have some sort of interest in their own students, so they don't, um, want to help out some random person claiming to have been taught by them when they weren't, because professional pride I guess.

 

im not a fucking transformer, thats why.

 

The rest of this I'm unsure of, but unintentional offspring is a regular feature of human life, at least, judging from their media.

 

Well for one thing, someone has to make the food. Kicking all the farmers out to make room for doctors is pretty dumb in the long run. I guess you guys get your... energon...? Somehow different.

Yeah, that too.

Oh yeah. I mean, you can be trying to get pregnant anyhow, and there's uh, IV pregnancy? But most of the time it's pretty much a surprise when it's gonna happen.