shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

And the women's harassment, and the extreme focus on minorities... You know what sucks? Being the only Latino police officer in the entire city.

That sucks.

They are but I'm picky, comes with the 'touch telepathy' territory. Not sure how it would, uh, work on you? Do robots dream of electric sheep?

 

I love ya dearly Capt´n but no. Capt´n Life Support would kill me.

 

Oh hey c'mon what is it?

Touch telepathy? That sounds seriously awful dude sorry D:

...our kind of robots dream of all kinds of things. Ovines aren't really my thing but hey whatever cranks your shaft! ;D

 

Eh. Several Sources say we started it so we should suck it up.
Peace time is... interesting so far.

I know. Old habits die hard though. I worry. I want everyone to be prepared.

I do not take thanks from law enforcers.

Not even a little if we are really really careful?

 

You could always see if it works on us.

 

Well, it's better than range telepathy but I can hear whatever a person's thinking if I'm touching them. Relationships are hard usually, since the other person wants privacy and I don't like hearing how they actually think my dick looks funny or something.

But, that's what happens when you're a meta. *Shrugs* It is useful in my job, helps me figure out why other metas do crimes so I can try and clear it up before they go to jail. Gotta protect my people, you know?

'Aight. I still remain off duty since I'm asleep or whatever this is.

*Makes a wobbly hand gesture* I could but I don't want to intrude or accidentally hurt you. Even though it doesn't do any harm to other humans and metas I don't know...

 

I know Cap I'm not offended or whatever :) I'm better suited to running than fighting anyways can't catch me if I don't wanna get caught ;D

 

I wasn't volunteering, by the way.

 

'Aight, I'm not too worried about it anyway. I don't like hearing other people's thoughts.

 

[Muffled from within his hands:] It's fine! Everything's fine.

[He finally lifts his head a little.]

Even if you started it, it still sucks. I, um, guess that'd be a weird change though. I'm told I don't, uh, handle not fighting very well either.

 

Yeah I'm pretty sure there're ranged telepaths floating around in our universe too but honestly Cap could probably tell you better the most well-known one was on her side of the war :P

Aaaanyway tangent aside yeah I hear you man no worries I was mostly joking anyway.

 

I bet. I almost feel sorry for you: that has to be an all-you-can-eat shit buffet.

Why don't'cha move to a city where you wouldn't be alone? Plenty of Latino cops in the big PDs around here.

 

It was a good one, I mean you got Marcus all flustered.

 

Awwwwww thanks! [He flutters his wings, still grinning broadly.] If all it takes to fluster him is offering a threesome I should prooooobably step off a little though :P

 

[He emerges from his hands completely! Hooray for Marcus, overcoming that embarrassment one mild panic attack at a time.]

Oh god, fuck that, don't let him move. How am I supposed to run interference with the NHPD then? That's the last thing this shithole of a city needs.

That was all you. Asshole.

 

The people here need me, I'm the head of the Meta Police Division which has... Three people? We take care of meta crimes so that we can make sure that the kids out there don't get killed by the human police. I faced hell going through academy and getting into the PD but it was damn worth it just to be able to be the one to stop a Meta-Theft-In-Progress. Especially because then I'll just ask them to hold my hand, I'll read their minds, and find out what they really need ya know?

With that dude his kid was starving and he was stealing food and school supplies, so I fixed that for him. Bought all he'd stolen and more, then called it in as a solved case.

The other guys still give me shit over stuff like that, but *shrugs*

Also that, I make sure NHPD doesn't try the whole 'let's kill the meta-hero-villain-theater by literally killing them!' thing again.

Was it? Didn't mean to.

Well, he's kind of shy.

 

Nah, I've had plenty of those. Gabe is just... [He shrugs expansively.]

It's weird, you know? Jesus. Sorry for, um, worrying you, if I did, because it's not you really, it's not you. You're fine. You're cool.

I'm not. You're just... [He waves his hand at Gabe, indicating all of him.]

Though, legit, try to make the Newtown cops shoot less, yeah? One of 'em clipped me the other day, and it was kind of a bitch to deal with. Um. I meant to tell you before now, but I forgot.

 

>:(

I talked to those assholes about that shit a month ago! Are you okay? I mean I'm sure you were if I didn't notice but... Ugh, remind me alright?

 

[There's always a way out, if your embarrassment leaves you feeling cornered and stressed.]

 

[If you look closely, you might notice his wings drooping. He's not law enforcement anymore but wow does he not want to think about just how much a shitheel he was compared to this guy helping out his targets and actually making the world better instead of just more socially acceptable.]

...'sgood you can do stuff like that, that you do do stuff like that. For what an alien robot's opinion counts for anyway. Your unit's full of slagsuckers if they don't realize that.

[Bad thoughts, what bad thoughts? Only shiny smiles and perky wings here!]
And pretty cute for a fl-- uh, an organic! You're a lucky guy ;D

Nah just making sure I didn't frag up 'cause like the whole "don't actually make our ship look like a collection of rusting tailpipes we're supposed to be doing diplomatic slag" thing! Chill out dude we're good!