shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Shokran.

How have you been holding up? Got a costume lined up?

 

Urgh. Fine. Porrim Jr. And you're just one of the Shitfinses.

 

Who? Why would I care?

 

"You're a no-nonsense one, aren't you. Angela, I think I heard? I am Mindala. Delighted to meet you, dear."

She turns to Vic. "And you, Victoria -- oh, Vic is what you prefer, that's right. Exquisite. Let us all drink to cold-hearted bitches. You too, Handmaid. Frosty, you too!"

A click of her fingers and there's a glass in everyone's hand.

 

Sure as fuck seemed to care when you thought she was all "oh you deserve to be abused". Oh boo hoo people were mean to me.

 

"I think I'll just drag the old witch outfit from the closet and use that," she says. "The guys already call me a witch, don't they? I'd hate to disappoint. And if they argue there is the toading option. Very useful in a clinical setting."

 

*He's going to passive-aggressively pour his out. Gross. Competitors.*

 

Better be a straight spirit or I will drown you in it.

 

-coughs and chokes on her tea-

...you still have the old thing?

-hide your perverted grandmotherly shame ana. drink more tea-

 

"Getting a spring in your step from that are we, Mama Ana?" she says with a wink. "Some time with me is known to be rejuvenating, after all. I have studied many advanced techniques for extending lifespans. And other things."

 

"Nothing gentler would suit, assassin. Try it. I think you might like it."

 

I have no idea what you are talking about. I am creaky and slow as ever.

-has recalled some of those "other things". that isn't helping. now we are a blushing grandma-

 

Good woman.

-floats about aimlessly with her drink. sips at it. lovely burn on the tongue. like fire it goes down. she shuts her eyes and watches that sensation as it travels down. lovely stuff-

 

"As ever, which means not at all. Your pretending to be infirm is a con, old woman. All you're missing is an eye which I could replace, if it were not for the bullet taking out your brains as well."

She smiles and adds, "I'll keep your secret to the others, though."

 

You better be keeping all of my secrets. We can't be ruining the children's view of me this Halloween. I am but a kindly, senile woman with tea.

 

"To cold-hearted bitches! -- may our hearts never thaw nor our talons blunt!" she says, raising her glass.

 

I ate mine.

 

"And I have a few secrets of yours, Mama Ana. Just remember that."

Sipping on the drink in silence then.

 

Eh. I do.

 

Oh ho, now we are blackmailing me! The children on the internet will burn me on a stake should they learn more!