shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

"Don't eat predatory carnivores, even tiny ones, you idiot," says Ford, glancing briefly back at the annoyance before returning his gaze (and his silly grin) to the Mi. "Bad for your liver."

 

vwhat the fuck is a livwer.

 

Mi approve. -the mi sits up and tries to look important and impressive-

-the mi shows her its tiny tiny claws-

 

*Itch shows the Mi her giant dirt-encrusted ones.*

 

"Nobody in my family here is dead." Valiska sighs. "And they better not become dead!"

 

Darlings darlings you're both fearsome put your spikes away

 

Ford uses his free hand to draw back his coat and show Itch his ray gun while still fussing over the tiny creature. He is a brilliant scientist and he can multitask!

 

*Itch is utterly unimpressed and equips her own electric blue rifle.*

i could squish it if i felt like it!

 

"If we're going to compare claws, mine win," Jame says, trying to distract. "Sharp as razors, over an inch long, and fully retractable. Except I bet one of the robots out here has ten foot long claws that are sharper than razors."

 

[Dry public announcement voice:] Nurse @Sawbones needed in the Rave for a pissing contest. Repeat: Nurse Sawbones of Kaon to the Rave for a pissing contest.

 

pirrr!

-The mi is pleased-

Can not!

 

youd pop like a furry blister!

 

Well mine ain´t ten feet cause I only just top fifteen or so, but I think energy blades beat razors! -she raises a paw and slides brightly glowing blades out of her claws, extending them to nearly twice their length.-
Can slice right through plating with these. best mod I ever done.

 

Mi, I mi right through your foot. And bite you!

 

"Those are impressive," Jame agrees. "And useful. Mine burst through when I was six years old and led to my father trying to kill me."

 

I dunno what a father is, but that doesn´t sound good. And yeah, Capt´n Nichrome made them fer me. Well, with me I´d guess. She´s a good weaponsmaker.

 

"One of the two people who made me. Read up on reproduction sometime. Fathers are supposed to care for and protect the people they create until they've grown enough to do it themselves.

"Mine was a very poor example of that. Not quite the worst possible, but getting there. See, he was terrified of Shanir, people with the old powers. The claws proved I was one and he couldn't take it."

 

(Oneira equips her white, 4 ft. long (ancestral?) white arbalest, and aims it at Itch.)
Put yer toy away and leave the Mis in peace, or I'm gonna use ye for target practice.

 

"I have a gun just like that," says Dipper. "Except it's even more like Dualscar's and I took it off the fool who thought he could take my kismesis and me together. Do they issue them to Amporas to make up for the fact that you can't make friends and nobody else wants to pail you?"

 

"I am less inclined to violence than my lovely wife, but I am very good at it when I have to be," Ford tells Itch. "Don't make me demonstrate this."