shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

Whaaaaaaaat you fragged a squid? What the pits bro please tell me he was sentient.

And yes I got hitched, how was I supposed to invite a dead Autobot to my trining flight? We'll have to come find you after the-- medic? You're a medic, right?-- picks you up so you can meet each other like. Barrage actually knows how to gun, sib.

 

Try not ta have too many pathogens please. Or if ya do, play along with quarantine.

 

Oooo pull my trigger good, baby. Pretend I'm winking. Ain't got no eyelids for the real deal no more.

Squid's totes sentiant though. Still thinks he's a Wrecker, poor slagger. Pretty fragging annoying but so am I so we're cool. Chill as the outer reaches.

I am sick as shit. Can't handle these guns. I'm the illest fragger around.

[He fingerguns again.]

 

Sib if you get to meet my trine I have to meet your fragbuddy! Come on, let's make this happen!

Nerd.

 

We're a diplomatic vessel, tasked with building goodwill towards Cybertronians again as well as trying to convince the Galactic Council to remove their sanction on us, and we have all colonies and contingents represented. As part of our travels, we keep acquiring crew, it seems. If we run across you you're welcome aboard.

Nurse Sawbones, I appreciate your commitment to the grumpy medic stereotype.

(And yes, I am also a medic.)

 

What's a Wrecker?

 

-amused ear twitch- It been A Cycle, Capt´n.

 

Oh slag sib, what if he likes you? Terrible times turbofoxes is what. He'll never leave. So many fragging tentacles, sib.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat. That's wild. How many docs you got, you corner the market on medics? Every ambassador gets a personal nurse. You get a nurse, you get a nurse, everybody gets a nurse!

You feed me, I'm yours though. Mmmmmmmmm energon.

A suicidal autobot with a propensity for murder and the personality to match. We're like sparkling tantrums but with fragging guns.

I'm telling you, I'm terminal. Terminally awesome.

 

Don't you think it's a bad idea to keep taking people in? We've already had to go on energon rationing. What happens if your brilliant and talented engineering team need some engine downtime to patch up after one of your pseudo-diplomatic escapades?

 

*embarrassed laugh*
It certainly has, at that.

We've got two full medics, two mental health practitioners, and a full complement of nurses. And we feed everyone aboard, don't worry.

 

Why you gotta hurt me like this?

 

...you're on the TEAM?

Would you mind passing along a hearty "frag you and all the information you never gave us" to whoever the Licentan ambassador is? Because I'm kind of really frustrated with his jetfuel. Even a language-map would've been better than nothing but nooooo all we've got is "twenty people have died so far and we're pretty sure both the planet and the inhabitants are gonna try to kill you too, good luck piston-brains"!!

 

Look, I'm not saying we won't give you a ride.

 

I don't think the five or so people we've taken on out of the crew of 200 or so made that much difference in the fuel stores, no. The rationing was a fluke - what do you want us to do, not take on someone in need of help?

 

Her. And I'm pretty sure that's how Licentan culture works even when you're a part of it.

 

Everyone needs help! Everyone in our entire goddamn species needs help! So yes, I think eventually we are going to need to not take on someone in need of help, and if you want to be all leaky energon pump about it, we'll hit that threshhold a lot later if we try to take people on temporarily when possible!

 

I'll tell Congessi, but from what I can tell, Lacuna has the right of it.

 

That's too many damned medics. How d'you even get that many medics. What the frag is a mental health practitioner.

Booboo, you're shattering my spark. Shattered all to slag. Aaaaaaaall kinds of shattered.

 

Ya think we can get everyone ta postpone their injuries and emergencies fer a few?

-dryly- We got just enough ta keep up with the amount of slaggers what get hurt.