shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

*it is indeed normal grape juice*
...i normally charge $0.75 per carton, but you seem like a rather thirsty person...so it's on the house

it's okay though...you probably wouldn't have any currency i'm familiar with, anyways...being an alien and all...y'know?...

 

Stupid sleep darts.

 

... Sleep darts? You mean a projectile weapon filled with a sedative?
... Isn't that dangerous? For organics I assume it is as inadvisable as it is for mechanoids to chemically induce recharge and defragmentation or otherwise offline the body without an exact idea of the patient's specs... right?

 

It is, but so is war.

 

*the seagull poofs back into existence, having taken a week's vacation to allow its tiny brain to process the entry-level philosophical questions it accidentally began to ponder.*

whoa. that was fuckin weird. anyway

*the seagull hops around experimentally.*

man things have changed. probably. I mean. my memory is pretty shit. because I'm a bird. but from my extremely limited perspective. I maintain that things have changed. who are you guys. you got any snacks

 

Ford materialises a handful of toffee peanuts. "If I give you these," he says to the bird, "don't shit on anyone in here. I grew up surrounded by you guys, and I know that some of you are not above taking a dump on the hand that fed you."

 

oh hey thanks dude you're a real pal. but do you think you could maybe. turn your head away. and pretend like you don't think they're for me. maybe yell when I swoop down. and steal them. theft really enhances my dining experience

and no man. I don't do that anymore. I have a tree now. for that very purpose. that was an important part of my. "personal growth"

 

"Perfect," says Ford, and drops the food on what passes for the ground, then turns around to kiss the top of Valiska's head, right between her ears.

 

*the seagull approaches with jittery stealth, edging closer and closer before daringly darting in to steal its prize*

nice

*it takes off with graceless urgency, its webbed feet scrabbling against the poorly-defined ground, and lands on an inexplicable lamppost*

*slightly muffled through mouthful of food* that was cool of you dude. I appreciate it. do you mind if I. sorry

*swallows mouthful* anyway do you mind if I screech for a second. just a little screech

 

Ford laughs. "If hearing seagulls screech could kill me...I'd have died before I was ten."

 

[Huskiemom pads towards the strange tiny lusus @Seagull to sniff it.]

 

(howv is it talking, it doesnt evwen havwe lips.)

 

Valiska glances at the bird. "What is it?" she finally asks. "Is it some kind of Earthish beach-bird?

 

"It's a seagull. I used to feed 'em when I was a kid." Ford shrugs. "Otherwise they steal your food."

 

...i've got lots of juice boxes...but i'm not sure you'd be able to get into those...oh!

*they rummage around a bit in the front pocket of their hoodie, and pull out a box of fruit snacks, which they open...too hard!

the fruit snacks then burst out and "accidentally" spill all over the generic ground*

 

*the seagull lets out a belated screech*

hey pal. how's it going. you're awful big. are you territorial. do I need to leave

hey man that's pretty rude. how would you like it. if I talked about you like you weren't there. and started speculating about your possession. of "lips". what makes you think I don't have "lips"

 

[So many new people! The dogs know the fuzzy person and the catlike person, but not the others! The huskies split up and sniff everyone.]

[Huskiemom jumps up - that was loud and unexpected!]
Woof!

 

Ford decides to materialise two large orders of French fries, as served at the Glass Shard Beach boardwalk circa 1963, and 'accidentally' drop one before eating the other, because he can.

 

[Something smells like food here! The pack congregates towards the fries]

 

[Oneira whistles sharply]
Mom! Abwind! Granit! Mangan! Südost! No! Leave that! Heel!