shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

i am proof of this

half the people in this place couldn't take a joke and stopped talking to me after i beat a guy to death with his own ass

honk

 

Mabel nods. "That's for when you really have to kill someone though," she says after a moment. "I think only Steven or Sev could fix that. Especially in someone's face. It's not for when your friends or family get possessed or duped, it's for people who are really going to kill you. Because they really want to."

 

"We can take jokes just fine. You're just gross." Dipper shrugs. "I am never going to really like killing people--my sister's honestly more dangerous than me--but sometimes you have to defend yourself. I don't think the problem is that you killed the guy, the problem is that you do gross things even when you don't have to fight. Although I'll grant you this. You're not as bad as some of the Cronuses. You're just really, really weird. In a gross way."

 

The only thing it takes for people to stop talking to me is exist so I clearly win.
... On the other hand for me the point is literally to offend people into ignoring me so!

 

It's a nice plan until you accidentally an angry mob.

 

Are you ever okay dude?

 

Primus, an angry mob would be nice! A little bit of variety is the spice of life and all that.

 

Not really no :D

 

:(
I mean fair but
Slag sucks man
:(

 

-he shrugs-
You get used to it when you literally know nothing else. Well not quite true, but...
-He hesitates and grins-
You must be at least a level four friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

 

[He snickers, wings perking up. He can totally roll with a deflection.] Oh no senpai doesn't love me! How ever will I cope? I am heartbroken this dating sim promised instant reciprocation for 0 effort how dare :p

 

The most devious copyright protection of all: Senpai route's difficulty abruptly skyrockets with no warning in the second act. Shoulda paid mad romance bucks for the game, weeb.
[He pulls his best *sad but also attractive and mysterious and tortured* look. If he had hair it would be dramatically blowing in a spontaneous breeze. There may be cherry blossoms.]

 

[Venture swoons all the way to the floor, one hand splayed over the glass of his cockpit; if his controlled fall happens to show off his flexibility and open a few seams, well. Can't blame a guy for trying.] Slain by my own greed! Woe! Horror! How can I ever earn senpai's forgiveness?

 

[Scanner rolls his optics, snorting]
You can start by getting decent. That's way more of your internals than I want to see.

 

Awwwwww :< [Despite his exaggerated disappointment, Venture does pull his plating back in. He stays sprawled on the floor though.] Gotta get to level six in either friendship or hatred before senpai will even consider it huh?

 

[He bristles briefly, then turns a grin at Venture, though not one that seems particularly genuine. Even calling it "not painfully strained" would be overly flattering]
Nah i only put out if what I get in return's good enough. Been firmly trained out of the whole affectonate fragging thing.

 

Aaand back to everything sucking bearings. Slag. [He sits up, wings canting down and forward in an odd-looking mix of apology and concern once they have space to move.] Sorry.

 

Unless you were a handsy CO in a previous life I've got no slagging idea what the frag you're apologizing for mech.

 

[That sure is a giant neon 'don't ask' sign if he ever saw one.] ...sure. Gotcha. No apologies here just mental notes to try maybe not defaulting to flirting with you. Since clearly it's not gonna work and all. [And also because that was an uncomfortable-as-hell response, but how about we don't poke holes in Scanner's defense mechanisms? If he wants to pretend everything's fine Venture can 100% help a denial-bro out.]

 

That's honestly appreciated. And by honestly I mean actually honestly not "look at me being a douchebag and clearly lying to your face" honestly and you know what I'm gonna shut up now.