shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

[She wraps Ven in a casual half-hug]
One of the things about being an aft is that I could care less about the universe and Cybertron as long as my people are safe. I'm a workaholic but not that badly. But if it makes you feel better I'm sure pretty much no one listens to Megatron anymore and most people are sick to death of the Prime's jetfuel. That cuts back greatly on the number of people who can frag us all over at a large scale.

 

wow rude cap don't kinkshame I love getting fragged at large scale :P

 

[She solemnly pats his thigh]
If you want to get fragged by Optimus Prime I guess there really is no accounting for taste.

 

[He snickers, and flicks a wing so it smacks gently against Nichrome's shoulders.] Don't lie if he kept his vocalizer off you'd go for it too. Dude is literally built like a truck you know he's got the array to match.

 

Pits. I probably would if I was overcharged enough, but then I only occassionally have anything resembling taste.
Or make good decisions. He can't be the only truckformer left in this slagging universe and no one can have a spike enticing enough to make "walking PTSD-trigger" a viable frag when there's alternatives. Even with the vocalizer disabled.
Even with the vocalizer taken out.

 

Okay fair.

...on the other hand as long as we're in the realm of 'slag that'll never happen' Megatron is just as big. Possibly bigger depending on if he's gotten a rebuild somewhere along the way of his magical field trip.

 

You´re both nuts. No offense Captain.

 

An interesting argument. But have you considered-
[She quickly looks around to check whether any of her sparklings are within earshot. She still lowers her voice a little.]
I heard casette carriers are very well endowed and very generous and good about picking out exactly what will make a mech go mad. And they tend to be package deals.

 

Fantasies are fantasies. They tend to not be particularly sane.

 

Do you really want details of my fantasies Libby. Do you really
Because for the record 'unattainable figure who happens to also be Absolutely Enormous' is pretty tame

[Ten solid seconds of unintelligible static before he thinks to cover it with drinking.]

 

*suddenly, a mental image of Jorgen Von Strangle pops into Norm's head*

*and he decides that he's not gonna speak of that*

*ever*

Spoiler: for reference

 

Welcome to the reason why a lot of Decepticons are masters at "thinking of random shapes and colors at the drop of a hat".

 

If I were possessed of any shame the most embarrassing part of becoming a deity would definitely be the weird porn our followers write. As it is it's just funny- I don't even get the weirdest and I'm the one with tentacles.

 

okay but what if
what if you didn't do that thing
and he took you up on the actual thing instead
[Venture's voice is still static-crackly.]

 

*blushes*

*she really likes giant women*

 

Q.E.D. You serious want to frag my old boss? I mean you did name your sparkling after him but I think a certain cat might object.

....I never wanted to know why high command lookalikes are so popular.

 

I... don't know actually. We all kind of... assumed he'd never, because of his y'know... thing with Megatron. And the whole quiet and distant thing. The only other possibility that was even considered would be the Aemula-Tension with Shockwave.

 

Ah, I suppose you wouldn´t have the cultural background for that joke. Though the Captain I think explained it fairly well.

 

I can't even tell if you're talking about Sawbones or Ravage
Are you telling me the big guy's possessive or

[Snickering]

Okay Old Buckethead being a crazy-possessive spawn of a glitch is reason enough not to try but like. Do 'Cons not have the fun flavor of 'it's always the quiet ones'?

 

I have fragged a lot of people on the basis of "why the slag not", so you tell me what would happen if Soundwave offered.
If anyone wants to object to that, I am open to talking about objections.